


The Ebb's Lull

by eggsootart



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Coming of Age, Fantasy, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, kind of angst, sea dragon au, this got really long so be careful, yixing cries a lot oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 14:26:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 45,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggsootart/pseuds/eggsootart
Summary: Meeting Baekhyun by that ocean was like a dream, a dream Yixing never really woke up from. He would only realize after, much too late, that the way Baekhyun sang into the night was perhaps the saddest sound of all. A song of sorrow, longing, and the desire to be one with the sea. To return to where he belonged.





	The Ebb's Lull

**Author's Note:**

> an old idea i revisited, and it turned into this monster. I based setting on various cultures and historical periods and tried to make it read a kinda like a legend. i love coming of age/fantasy fics, but tbh I'm a bit disappointed with the end result—I feel like it’s not nearly as well done or engaging as I had hoped. so I understand if you get bored,,hopefully I can return to this one day and improve it!
> 
> aNYWAY I started using Twitter again so feel free to talk to me about exo and baekxing <3 [@eggsootart](https://twitter.com/eggsootart)

The fire crackled, the moon laid full and white against the wide black sky, and the paper lantern in Yixing’s hands was brightly glowing. It was a night of light, a night of hope. A night of celebration.

“Yixing, did you pay your respects, yet?”

Hearing his name, Yixing turned to see Jongdae, his best friend, holding an orange lantern of his own. Blinking unassumingly, he shook his head.

“Not yet,” he replied, tearing his eyes off of the rowdy activities that the other children were getting up to. “Did you?”

“Nope,” Jongdae said, flashing a grin and grabbing onto Yixing’s hand. “Let’s go, before it’s too late!”

Yixing nodded, and the pair scurried over to the pathway that fell just on the edge of the village. Everyone in their community had been coming and going on the crude cobblestone path tonight, so for once they didn’t need to get their parents to guide them—always an exciting occurrence for children.

With golden lights leading all the way into the distance, it was a beautiful sight to Yixing. Huddled on the right side of the pathway and giggling as he and Jongdae bumped into each other on the way, he pretended that those lights were guiding him, as if they were something of a divine presence.

“I bet this year’s catch will be the biggest yet,” Jongdae said as they stepped along, Yixing nodding in agreement.

“Me, too. My parents have been telling me that all the signs have been there.”

Tomorrow was the annual seafaring harvest, a time where many of the village’s able-bodied citizens would go out to sea and bring in colossal nets filled with freshly caught fish that had been visiting during the season. Tonight was the night where all of the inhabitants gathered to pray to the revered god of their sea, wishing for a successful harvest and ideal waters. The night of Buoxian—it never failed.

With drier seasons all year, the village had been greatly looking forward to this day; their crops had been wilting, animals on land had been scarce due to the weather. Tonight’s ceremonies had effectively brought up everyone’s mood, making them forget the hard times that had preceded.

“There!” Jongdae called, running up to the clearing where a few had been gathered. “And look, Kyungsoo’s here too!”

Yixing ran as he cried for Jongdae to wait, nearly tripping on the crude stones before finally catching up to greet Kyungsoo, one of the older boys. He and a few other villagers had been gathered around a statue, one that Yixing’s parents said was far older than anyone currently alive. Behind it laid a small shrine, marking a place where prayers and offerings were accepted year-round. The area was lit by a few torches, the orange flames wavering lazily until they received the hopes and prayers of the villagers.

“Kyungsoo!” Yixing shouted in greeting, before Kyungsoo held a finger to his lips; shrinking away shyly, Yixing tried to ignore the others who had given him a dirty look for being loud and interrupting the ritual. Jongdae and Kyungsoo stifled laughs at his sheepish expression, making his cheeks turn even more pink.

“Do you get to go help with the harvest, this year?” Jongdae asked excitedly. Kyungsoo nodded, trying to suppress his own smile of anticipation.

“That’s so cool!” Yixing chirped, eyes wide with admiration.

“Right? Minseok almost wouldn’t let me go,” Kyungsoo said, now grinning. “But I’m old enough now, so he had to.”

 _Minseok_ was another one of the older boys of their village, and another good friend of theirs. He was protective, especially of the younger ones—it amused Yixing to think how much Minseok must be fret over the neighborhood kids as they came of age.

At that point Kyungsoo’s father came and teasingly bumped the three boys on the head, making them all yelp in surprise.

“Come now, boys, don’t forget what we’ve come here for,” Mr. Do suggested, gesturing towards the statue.

“Right,” Kyungsoo murmured, followed by Yixing’s and Jongdae’s “yes, sir”.

They turned towards the small, crude monument, a statue of a serpent-like creature. The statue, in Yixing’s opinion, didn’t do much justice for its subject in comparison to the pictures and stories he had been raised up on. Elegant yet fierce, powerful but kind, the ruler of the sea, it was Buoxian—the being whom this night was named after.

The three boys clapped their hands together in prayer and bowed their heads a little, closing their eyes and wishing for a plentiful ocean harvest and for good fortune all around from Buoxian. Shortly afterwards, they tossed their salts into the fire, making the flames briefly flicker into a mysterious blue hue that made all of the younger kids _ooh_ and _ah_.

Yixing wasn’t sure how long ago the legends of the sea dragon had begun, but the fact they still persisted today told him that the deity was worthy of being such a symbol of hope to the village. And the blue flames that constantly burned and danced with each prayer received was the bit of magic that kept the faith alive among his people.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Kyungsoo’s father announced as the flames reverted to their original color, and the three boys picked up their lanterns again. “The night’s almost over; Yixing, Jongdae, you should find your parents.”

“Yes, sir,” Yixing and Jongdae chorused again. Before they all left the clearing, Yixing secretly made one more wish of his own personal desires to Buoxian’s statue, smiling.

 

The night ended soon after they got back, with everyone retiring into their homes and the lights going out. Yixing was only eight, much too young to be setting out to sea with everyone the next morning. But he still got up early, accompanying his parents down to the beach while holding their hands tightly.

“Be good, okay?” his mother told him as other villagers began boarding the lean boats onto the shore with equipment. “If we’re not back before nightfall, stay with Jongdae and his mother.”

“Okay,” Yixing replied as he rubbed his eyes, still sleepy from the early hours. His father ruffled his hair, saying something along the same lines as his mother before the family of three wrapped themselves in a close hug.

“I wish I could go with you,” Yixing pouted, making his parents chuckle.

“One day you will. When you’re older,” his father promised, and even though it was something Yixing already knew, his heart felt lighter. His mother took off her straw hat, placing it on Yixing’s head and securing the ribbon around his neck.

“I’m over halfway there. I’ll be old enough, soon!” he said boldly, making both of his parents, who always took pride in Yixing’s sweetness and helpfulness, beam.

“You grew up so fast. Our sweet Yixing.”

His family gave him one more goodbye before they parted to get into one of the fishing crafts, and Yixing remained in the sand, waving his arms even as all of the participants began to set sail.

“Bye!” he called along with the others who had come to the beach to see them off, “good luck! Bye-bye!”

He watched the boat that held his parents all the way until it shrunk into the glistening horizon, in awe of just how beautiful the sea was.

 

The sight of the shining surface of the ocean Yixing loved so much was instilled in his mind the whole day. Throughout eating his meals, throughout playing with his friends, throughout entertaining himself by the coves.

But that night, as he laid on his blankets that he moved into his parents’ room, asleep, little did he know that a few rain droplets had begun to fall from the sky. A few gentle pats against the ground suddenly became a downpour in a matter of seconds, followed by ominous winds that made the paper screens over his window rattle. Always a light sleeper, he eventually stirred awake, but only tightened his grip on the covers and tried to block out the sounds that were starting to scare him a little.

What made Yixing finally snap his eyes open was a loud clap of thunder that shook him to his core. Quickly sitting up from bed, his eyes widened to see the storm blowing through his window and knocking over his mom’s porcelain from the sheer force of the wind. Suddenly consumed by fear, he grew petrified, backing up into the corner of the room as the storm raged and thunder started to boom.

He was only able to be shaken out of it when someone burst in; it was Chanyeol, another one of the older kids, a beleaguered look on his face until he set his eyes on Yixing.

“Yixing!” he yelled over the howling wind, running in and pulling Yixing up by the arm. Every inch of him was soaked, his face pale as the moon in fright. “Yixing, it’s awful! We have to get to the shelter!”

Yixing couldn’t even get out a single word, before he was suddenly being yanked out of his house that, from the outside, he was shocked to see breaking apart. The winds were so violent, he felt like he could be swept away if Chanyeol hadn’t been gripping so tightly onto his arm.

A few others were struggling around them, it was pandemonium as mothers tried to keep their children with them and others struggled to fight off the the gusts.

And when Yixing caught a glimpse of the beach as Chanyeol guided him to safety, he was horrified. It wasn’t the beautiful, serene horizon full of light that he had seen today, that he loved so much; it was dark grey, eerily swirling, and he could barely make out a giant wave beginning to conjure in the midst of the blistering rain. A tsunami.

There were already waves crashing cacophonously against the cliff where their village had stood tall, or at least tall in Yixing’s memory. But now he was forced to see how it was about to crumble, and could still faintly hear screams and calls of the inhabitants trying to find each other.

The sight of that murderous sea was permanently ingrained in his mind, and he would have frozen on the spot if it hadn’t been for Chanyeol dragging him. They made their way to the shelter, a divot deep in the forest that was hollowed out for emergencies such as now. Yixing never dreamt that it would be needed.

“Yixing!” he heard as soon as Chanyeol helped him inside, and he turned to find Jongdae, crying uncontrollably along with his younger siblings crowded around him. Yixing ran up to his friend, hugging him close as they both sobbed.

“J-Jongdae,” Yixing gasped, barely able to get the words out. “Are you okay?”

In the urgency of the moment, Yixing had been too panicked trying to figure out what was happening around him. But now that he was safe in the shelter, a clap of thunder made him suddenly realize the biggest, most horrifying crisis of all—the ones who were at sea were caught up in that awful storm.

“Wait!” he suddenly cried, turning and desperately trying to claw his way out. Chanyeol grabbed onto him, shouting to ask if he was crazy. “My parents!”

“Yixing!” Chanyeol scolded, pulling Yixing back with so much force that it hurt. It snapped Yixing out of it, who could only stare at the older with tears rolling down his cheeks. “What can you even do! You can’t go out there. We...can only hope.”

Yixing tried to protest, but was hopelessly rebuked; it was then he had to face the reality that many of the ones here had relatives who were out at sea, too, Chanyeol and Jongdae included. Eventually all he could do was sit amongst everyone, mourning and praying for safety, dirt caked on his palms and under his fingernails.

It was a sleepless night, to say the least. As he stayed crouched there, shivering and crying and trying to stay warm, he was kept up by the sound of the sea and wind, the elements clashing against each other and destroying everything in their path.

∬∮〟〃〃

“Everyone! There’s a survivor from the boats!”

Yixing had been helping to pick up the pieces of the destroyed huts littered all throughout the cliff when he heard that call the next day. His heart suddenly began to pound, and he dropped everything he had been holding to run to the beach with the surviving members of his village. It had been a gruesome day, realizing how many of them were missing after getting swept by the storm, burying the bodies that they _could_ find.

He needed good news. He needed to see his mother and father.

After getting down to the shore, he was panting and already felt like he could faint from the adrenaline and anxiety eating him away. He kept asking  _please, please_ , over and over again, already able to feel his mother's warmth and to hear his father heartily ask why Yixing had been so worried about them in the first place.

But that was all just him filling in the blanks, and upon reaching the beach he could instantly see that it wasn’t either one of his parents; instead, it was Minseok. He had gotten here on what used to be one of their boats, now reduced to hardly more than a plank and a torn sail.

Dragging himself across the sand while carrying another body, he suddenly collapsed. Yixing couldn't tell what was worse—the sight of strong, dependable Minseok looking so weakened like he had narrowly escaped death, or the fact that it was Kyungsoo who was the motionless body under his arm.

“Minseok!” Everyone was shouting now, running and tripping over their own feet to help the boy. A few adults bent down to gauge Minseok’s condition, then Kyungsoo’s. Jongdae’s mother came up to help, but as she pressed their fingers to Kyungsoo’s neck for a pulse, everyone fell silent.

“...He didn’t make it,” she finally announced sorrowfully. Everyone, including Minseok who had been on the ground, chest heaving from fatigue, began to tear up.

“He was the only one I could pull from the ocean,” Minseok breathed, shutting his eyes and fists curling. “Everyone else is gone. How… How could Buoxian do this to us...?”

Everyone fell into a frenzy, some angry at the god, some mourning the loss, others primarily concerned with Minseok. Finally one of the elders made a motion for all to calm down, and Yixing barely swallowed back his hiccuping sobs as he watched Kyungsoo’s lifeless body be carried away.

“I had to watch everyone drown,” Minseok continued through gritted teeth, “and Kyungsoo, he was barely 16. How could we be punished this way, on this _day?”_

“Buoxian has abandoned us. That is all we know,” a senior began, and Yixing looked off into the horizon of the sea that was now calm, placid, as if nothing happened. One would never be able to tell how much of a monster it had been the night before. “To fail us, on a sacred occasion... Stealing parents, children, friends, and homes from us all. The oracle hasn’t even been able to see anything of Buoxian since it happened... We’ve been betrayed.”

Everyone eventually left the shore except for Yixing. His red, puffy eyes could only stare hollowly at the open ocean that now filled him with dread. Averting his gaze to look up at the sky, his mind swirling in a downward spiral as he thought of his lost family, he cried endlessly as he internally asked the sea god what he had done to deserve this. He begged for another chance, to get back everything that had been lost, he promised he would never do anything bad, again.

It was a fruitless prayer, however, and the final one he’d make to Buoxian for many years to come.

∬∮〟〃〃

It was months later that the village had been rebuilt to the best of its abilities in the absence of several of its able-bodied members. Even children Yixing’s and Jongdae’s age had to be worked to the bone in order to help get back to where they were, and having to start essentially from scratch took a noticeable toll on everyone’s morale.

The villagers quickly grew to scorn Buoxian, and the word spread to the other islands who also worshipped the deity. The sea dragon was no longer a god in people’s eyes, and was instead regarded more as a demon. Buoxian’s images were torn, his stories forbidden from being passed around. Yixing accepted all of it; it was, after all, the cruelest betrayal that had befallen his village.

Left orphaned by the disaster, he was lucky enough to be taken in by Minseok as the houses were rebuilt with new straw and new wood. He ate nearly every meal with Jongdae and his remaining family when Minseok was absent, but it wasn’t the same. He would always have to retire to his tiny, empty room, and force himself to sleep.

Sleep itself had become foreign to Yixing. The nights he wouldn’t quietly weep in solitude, he would toss and turn, longing for company. But he couldn’t go to Jongdae’s family that had no room for him, and couldn’t be a weakling and bother Minseok, who hadn't uttered a single complaint despite going through everything Yixing had and worse.

One night, the sound of the water lapping at the shore was all he could hear from his room, and even that was faint. Yixing blinked slowly, the moon shedding just enough light so it wasn't quite pitch black outside. After slowly getting up, he quietly let himself out of the hut and crept through the village to walk to the beach.

It had become somewhat of a routine for him, sneaking out to the cove during his sleepless nights. Hopping down onto the boulders leading onto the sands, he took a seat at the edge of the rocks, far from the water, and watched as the sea peacefully rolled.

He hadn’t been able to set foot inside the water since what happened on the day of the ocean harvest. He could look at it from afar, but at the tiniest notion of going inside, his mind was plagued with memories of the torrent of dark grey waves that had caused so much destruction. He could no longer play with Jongdae too close to the water’s edge, he’d panic at the thought of even splashing in the thin shore. It was a crippling fear that had developed inside of him: a fear of the ocean.

He only realized its severity on a day when Minseok tried to train him to navigate. Yixing immediately began to panic the second he stepped into a boat, and the lesson ended as soon as it began. Not only did his fear take a physical and mental toll on him, but he now worried that he was going to be useless as a member of his village that relied so much on the sea.

Sighing at the thought, he longed for his family. Of course Minseok and the adults in the village would help him, and the kids still played with him, but Yixing still felt so utterly alone. There was no more of his mother’s tender hold, his father’s stories, the hope of being able to explore the sea with them when he was older. That was all just a memory, now, one he’d be lucky to experience only in his sweetest dreams that would end as soon as the morning came.

Observing the moon's cloudy reflection on the water’s surface, he let out a sigh, his mind full of self pity as he wondered when he could begin to shake these heavy burdens shackling him.

When he began to lower his gaze, it was then that he suddenly saw it. As he cast his eyes to the stretching edge of the sea, something was barely able to catch his attention through his dark bangs; looking back up, he squinted towards the shoreline, and was bewildered to see the silhouette of what looked like a person.

Washed up onto the sand.

Letting out a gasp, he immediately scuttled down from the rocks and dashed partway across the beach, hoping his eyes were deceiving him. But it was true—there was what looked like a young boy, face down and lying still in the wet sand, the shore lapping idly at his body.

Under normal circumstances, Yixing would waste no time going over and taking the boy in his arms to gauge his condition. But seeing the water crawling forth in a lazy rhythm that, to Yixing, was horribly ominous, he involuntarily clammed up.

Visions of the choppy waves flashed through his mind, but he couldn’t just leave someone like this. Forcing himself to steel his nerves and march over, he grabbed the boy up by the arms and dragged him onto the dryland. Letting out a small whine as he did so, he shut his eyes and tried to block out the ice-cold sensation of the ocean touching his feet.

Flipping the boy over to lay on his back once they were on dry land, Yixing crouched beside him and checked his pulse, then his breathing. Everything seemed to be fine; with his heart finally calming down a bit, Yixing sat there, now unsure of what to do.

Upon closer inspection, the boy seemed to be around his age. He was Yixing’s height approximately, with thin arms that hung out of his baggy sleeves. His clothes were tattered, dust caked onto flimsy white fabric and tears decorating the seams.

He thought about how outlandish it was, to find a boy on the shore, stagnant, despite seeming very much alive. Studying the boy’s parted lips and lashes that curled delicately on his face, Yixing wondered if he had been drowning. Which only perplexed him further, with how at peace he looked now, sleeping.

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden roar from the ocean—looking up with wide eyes, he swore that he couldn’t have been imagining how much darker the water seemed to get, now that he had pulled the boy to safety. The body of the ocean seemed to grow black, the foam bubbling forebodingly as it approached. The sight layered with the stark recollection of how nauseating it felt just to _step_ in the froth, Yixing felt his vision go blurry.

The panic catching up to him and finally consuming him, his eyes rolled back and he crumpled like paper. He ended up blacking out for just for a short while, collapsing into the sand right next to the boy he had found.

 

He was only out for a few minutes, but when he slowly opened his eyes again he was immediately affixed to the sound of a voice. Slowly sitting up, he realized that the boy he found was up and about, humming a soft melody as he stood far off, gazing out at the sea. He was up to his ankles in the water, singing to nobody in particular—nobody Yixing could discern. All he knew was that the boy’s voice was nice and mellow, flowing out sweetly and making Yixing feel strangely calm to the point of being entranced.

Finally processing what was going on and how perplexing it all was, Yixing abruptly sat up with a gasp. The noise of course made the boy stop his humming and turn around, eyes holding a flicker of surprise in them. When Yixing collected himself, he looked up and felt his blood run cold when he met eyes with the stranger.

It was like time had run still in that singular moment. The boy stared at him from underneath his bangs that were a strange pale color, almost the color of the silver moon. His strange appearance, from his striking eyes to his messy hair to his ragged clothes, somehow translated to Yixing as breathtaking.

“H… Hi,” Yixing finally uttered, still on the ground, stunned. The boy looked back at him, expression ambiguous.

And then he began walking over, the water sloshing around him and dripping off his pants as he made his way out of the shore, until he was bending over with his face right in front of Yixing’s. Yixing felt his heart thumping in his chest with the boy so close up, eyes locked so intently on his, not even noticing the droplets of water plopping onto his lap.

“...Hi,” the boy finally said back after what felt like hours to Yixing. Hearing him speak was a big relief, and Yixing let out the breath he had been holding in.

“I like your song,” is what he decided to say next, as if there weren’t other matters that needed addressing, feeling a bit silly until the boy smiled a bit. It was a gentle yet mysterious smile, that gave Yixing a bit more confidence as he stood up, dusting the sand off his clothes. “It’s pretty.”

“Thank you,” the boy replied softly. Yixing remembered to return the smile he was receiving, and immediately felt a bit better when he did so.

“You’re welcome. Who are you?” he asked, thinking he eased into things well. He pointed out to the shoreline. “I found you there, asleep.”

The boy tilted his head, and suddenly his smile didn’t seem so gentle and innocent anymore.

“Who are _you?”_ he retorted, and Yixing felt his cheeks heat up.

“I asked you first,” was Yixing’s reply, but the boy remained blank-faced. Yixing sighed again; this time, out of exasperation than relief. “I’m Yixing. I’m from the village up on the seacliff.” He pointed out the direction where his village was, but the boy didn’t seem too interested; his eyes continued to remain fixed on Yixing.

“It’s your turn now,” Yixing began again, licking his lips nervously after the moment of silence. “Please, tell me who you are.”

“I’m me,” the boy replied plainly. Yixing’s eyebrows furrowed, and the sight must have been amusing because the boy flashed a grin. “What’s wrong?”

“I wanted your name,” Yixing huffed, his demanding tone being uncharacteristic of him; it goes to show how this boy somehow was able to push his buttons so quickly. “Fine, you don’t have to tell me. But where are you from?”

The boy looked out at the sea, his face now hidden from Yixing’s view. It went silent, and Yixing felt the uncertainty weighing down on him.

“Do you not...know?” Yixing finally concluded, a wrinkle in his brow at how reticent the other was. “Do you not remember?”

At this, the boy finally seemed to be deep in thought. Yixing waited longer, but rather than responding in words, the boy turned to drag down his eyelid and stick out his tongue. A taunt. Yixing made a face as a reflex, his visible annoyance making the boy burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny!” Yixing protested as his face reddened, stamping his foot in attempt to have more presence, but the boy was still giggling. “Why are you here!”

“Why are you?” the boy retorted after his laughter petered out, and Yixing (once again) fell for the diversion.

“I,” he mumbled, cat suddenly getting his tongue. “I had trouble falling asleep.”

“What, so you came out here? Does the ocean calm you, or something?” The boy asked, his catty little grin being replaced by the softer, gentler smile from before. The vast difference between the two was almost unsettling to Yixing, and he linked his hands together hesitantly.

“...I don’t know,” he finally admitted, looking down at the pebbles embedded into the sand. “I’m actually...afraid of it. I can hardly go near it, let alone touch it. But for some reason, I keep coming here, to look at it from far away.”

He paused, his timidness returning to him. “Is that strange?”

“Kinda.” Yixing looked up in surprise of how quickly his companion answered him, and how certain he sounded. He thought there’d at least be _some_ buffer. “Well, _I_ think the ocean’s beautiful. But I guess there are things people can look at, but are too scared to touch.”

“Like what?” Yixing posited, cocking his head to the side. The other hummed a bit, like he was thinking hard.

“A hungry tiger,” he finally said in reply, with utmost conviction. The two seemed to stew in the thought for a bit, before they both simultaneously burst out laughing. Their high-pitched laughter filled the empty chasm where only the ocean had been gently roaring, and Yixing never expected for the strange boy to have a sense of humor.

“That’s silly,” Yixing laughed, shaking his head. “Thanks, though. For trying to make me feel better.”

“I was being honest,” the boy said quizzically, wrinkling his nose. “But sure, if that’s what you think I was trying to do.”

He paused, staring hard at Yixing before poking him sharply in the cheek. “You have a strange fold in your face.”

“Ow,” Yixing whined, pulling away and rubbing his now sore face. “That’s just my dimple.”

“Dimple…? Weird,” the boy commented, and Yixing’s mouth hung open indignantly.

“Not as weird as your hair!” he pointed out, and this got the conversation between them rolling.

They exchanged a few more snippy remarks before Yixing looked over his shoulder to see a faint light coming from his village. Growing nervous, he decided he should return before someone caught him sneaking out.

“I should go back, I’ll get in trouble if I’m seen out here,” he mumbled, before remembering just how little he knew about his new acquaintance. “Wait, what about you? You never told me where you’re from—you never even told me your name.”

“Well,” the boy said in a matter-of-fact way, putting his hands on his hips. “I _can’t_ tell you.”

“But—but…” Yixing stammered, only to be cut off when the boy suddenly ran off into the ocean, splashes forming wherever his feet hit the surface. “Wait! Why!?”

“Because. I want to swim!” the boy yelled over his shoulder, once again avoiding any questions. “If you’re not coming in, then go away, Yixing!”

How incredibly mean. Yixing wanted to chase after him, and under any other circumstance he would have. But looking out at the broad, massive sea, his feet were planted in place and he felt himself grow queasy just thinking about it.

“You were passed out there until I came around!” he instead screamed back, feeling like it was so unbelievably unfair of the boy. He didn’t even know him, it’s not like they were friends—but somehow he was pouting, even if he had been leaving anyway. “F-fine, I’ll go!”

He turned to stomp off, before he stopped himself. Turning back around, he cupped his hands around his mouth. “...Will you ever be here again?”

The boy dove underwater at this point, obviously on purpose, and Yixing was out of patience. His lips frozen in a permanent pout, he trudged up the hill and back to his village. Burying himself under his covers, he felt a strange mix of both frustration and intriguement at the strange boy; and with that, he had an inkling that it wouldn’t be the last time they saw each other.

 

That was how he began to sneak out frequently at night, just to meet up with the nameless stranger. Even on the nights where he didn’t feel quite as restless, he still went just because he wanted to see the boy—the new cause for his lack of sleep. They didn’t talk much the nights they did manage to catch each other there, as Yixing would eventually get his fill of being near the sea and get drowsy. But every conversation seemed ephemeral to him.

∬∮〟〃〃

“You refuse to tell me anything about yourself. Your name, your home...” Yixing speculated one night, still filled with curiosity. He cleared his throat. “Is it because...you don’t have those?”

The boy sighed, and Yixing decided he had figured it out.

“I guess not,” the boy finally answered, and Yixing swung his legs to and fro from where he sat on the damp rocks, surprised at the blaséness of the reply. His companion didn’t seem sad when he said this, but it seemed like such a sad thing to say. “I don’t remember.”

“What have you been doing, then? Where have you been going, since I found you?” Yixing asked further.

“I go wherever I want. Do whatever I want.” The boy pointed off into the moonlit horizon of the ocean. “There’s lots of little villages, surrounding the cliffs and shores. I explore. But I have to say, yours has the best view at night.”

“I see.” Yixing wanted to say he understood, but he just couldn’t understand how this boy lived, just drifting along. Struggling to find a way to articulate this, he stayed silent for a while as the two continued to sit, watching the sea roll endlessly.

“But that night, there has to be a reason you were asleep by the—”

“Stop asking about me,” the boy interrupted, making Yixing purse his lips after he had thought so hard about how to pick the boy's brain. “I don’t have anything to tell you. What about you, huh? Tell me about _your_ village. Tell me about _your_ family and _your_ life.”

“Oh. Well,” Yixing muttered, cradling his knees. “After the big waves hit, I guess I don’t have much of those, either.”

“The big waves,” the boy repeated, and Yixing nodded.

“There was a huge storm recently, and the sea—it formed a tsunami. It destroyed everything. A lot of us survived, but...a lot of us didn't.”

The boy suddenly grew quiet, no longer pestering Yixing as payback. Instead he looked confused, sympathetic, and stern all at once, raising his hand as he debated on patting Yixing’s shoulder before drawing it back.

“At least you did,” he said plainly, and the other closed his eyes.

“I couldn’t even be happy about that,” Yixing confessed, making the boy’s eyes widen. “The storm took a lot of things from me. My friend, Kyungsoo, was one of the fishers at the time. He was so happy he could finally help at the ocean harvest this year, but…”

His voice had been shrinking, until it was barely even there anymore. “My parents too. The last I saw of them was their boat leaving the shore. Nobody knew what would happen.” Talking about it brought tears to Yixing’s eyes, and his companion grew dampened.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, a bit awkwardly, but Yixing wiped desperately at his eyes, shaking his head.

“It’s not like it’s your fault,” he said, voice brittle as he kept himself from crying.

“I suppose, but…” The boy sighed, finally laying a hand on Yixing’s arm. “Is that why you’re afraid of the sea?”

“Yeah. It must be,” Yixing confessed. The boy nodded slowly.

“I was wondering how someone could be afraid of the sea, something I love so much. But now I think I get it…I guess things aren’t always what they seem, huh.”

Yixing sniffed once, forcefully getting rid of his sadness before it could snowball. Not in front of someone else.

“You know,” he began as a hard steer from the dire subject, “I’ve been having fun, since we’ve met. But I find it strange to talk to you when I can’t call you anything. I know you said you don’t have a name, but isn’t there something I can call you?”

“I don’t have anything.” The still-nameless boy flashed a smirk at Yixing. “But...if you insist, then you can call me whatever you want.”

“Whatever?” Yixing said, rubbing his chin. “That’s an awful lot of power.”

“You seem careful. I trust you’ll think of something good.” The boy stretched out his arms, letting out an exhale as he did so. The two continued to sit side by side, arms almost touching, a testament to how close they have already gotten in the past several days. “Do you have to get back, soon? Have you ever been caught sneaking out?”

“Not yet. I always make sure to slip back in quietly before Minseok’s up,” Yixing explained.

He had been considering something of an offer for a while, and turned to stare solemnly at his friend.

“Maybe you should come with me,” Yixing propositioned, making the boy look back at him with a confused look on his face. Yixing pointed to the cliff. “Or consider it. It’s been a while since I found you, and you still don’t remember anything. It’s better to have a home, you know... I’m sure my village would accept you.”

“I don’t know about that,” the boy contemplated, making Yixing raise an eyebrow. “I’ve actually snuck up there once or twice, and…”

“What?” Yixing squinted as the boy change the topic rather quickly.

“Nothing. Anyway, it’s really late,” the boy announced loudly, making Yixing all the more suspicious. “You should go.”

“I’m not sleepy yet,” Yixing said with a pout, but his friend wasn’t having it. “Can’t we talk a little longer? You do a good job of tiring me out.”

“Are you saying I’m exhausting, or something?” The boy squinted, making Yixing giggle. “Come here.”

Yixing blinked curiously, but before he could ask, his companion pulled him down to lean against him, beginning to hum a serene melody. It was the same one Yixing heard the boy humming, the night they had first met.

If any of his friends from the village had proposed singing a lullaby to him, Yixing would scoff and insist that he wasn’t a baby. But with the boy’s soft, even beautiful voice drifting out, he felt like he was surrounded by the calming tune washing around him.

And like clockwork, his eyelids began to feel heavier, like he was put under a spell. He didn’t even realize his friend ended the song, until he heard him laughing.

“Look at you, I can see you’re about to fall asleep with just one little song!” he jeered, and Yixing felt his cheeks flame up. But he couldn’t deny it, and just sat there as the boy giggled at the disoriented look on his face before he stood back up. “Funny Yixing.”

“What are you doing to do?” Yixing asked, a yawn escaping his mouth beyond his control and embarrassing him further. His friend just smiled, pointing out to the shore.

“Look for seashells.”

“Is that even possible, when it’s this dark?” The boy nodded despite Yixing’s doubtful expression, digging inside the pocket of his rags.

“Sure it is. Here, you can have this,” he offered, holding out a beautiful pink cockle shell to Yixing.

“I can?” Yixing gaped, taking the shell, sincerely grateful for the present that he held and turned over gingerly in his hand. “Thank you, it’s beautiful..." He pouted a little. "Now I wish I had something to give you.”

“That's okay. You can just think of a good name. How about that?” With the proposition, Yixing’s ocean boy was running off again, toddling around by the waterside and searching through the sand for more treasures. Yixing clutched the delicate seashell in his hand, watching him for just a while more before heading home.

He realized it was a bit sad for him now, to have to go to sleep knowing he wouldn’t be able to see his friend for at least another 24 hours; but the time they did spend together had never failed to be of quality.

With the boy’s soothing lullaby playing in his memory, he slept well with his new seashell tucked underneath his pillow.

∬∮〟〃〃

Yixing didn’t see the boy for a few nights after that, and could only assume he had been wandering along the coastline again, going wherever he felt like it. With every passing day it seemed, Yixing was more and more wrapped up in the mystery of where the boy could have come from, and where he planned to settle, if he ever did. He knew it wasn’t his business and his friend didn’t seem to care what his future held, but Yixing couldn’t help wanting to know what he was up to.

Distracted with these thoughts, he had been coming back from the well when he suddenly heard a commotion going on towards the center of the village.

A few people had been crowded around watching something, and after putting down his pots teeming with fresh water, Yixing made his way over to see what was going on.

“I caught him! This is the brat that stole from me, a few days ago!” he heard someone yelling. Attention immediately grabbed, he nudged in between the small gathering of people to see that it was one of the villagers, a man who ran a fruit stand.

Grabbing the boy with silver hair up by the arm.

“He stole a couple fish from me, too!” another person piped up, and Yixing grew alarmed. The boy looked disheveled as ever, his thin arm being yanked around harshly as he tried to wriggle away. He almost looked afraid, like he didn't know quite know the gravity of the situation; all he knew was that this was bad.

“That’s my friend!” Yixing exclaimed without having to think, breaking through the crowd and running up to the boy. “Wait! Don’t hurt him!”

“You know him, Yixing?” Everyone looked a bit baffled; Yixing, the most well-behaved boy in the village, was standing up for a scrappy thief who had been caught pickpocketing. The fruit vendor let go of the boy, who immediately dashed away to hide behind Yixing.

“Who is he?” A few people had asked simultaneously, the one question everyone was thinking. Yixing automatically panicked.

“He’s, um…” Yixing looked at the boy for a second with a desperate look on his face, which was returned. “He’s… Baekhyun!”

It was a split second decision that his mind had come up with, officially selecting the name he had been mulling over night after night, and the boy looked rather amused. Amused, but also delighted.

“Baekhyun?” Everyone began to murmur, bemused. There was a pause, and Yixing was worried everyone could hear his thick, nervous swallow.

“Yes. Er, that’s what I call him.” He looked back at the boy he had essentially just named, who was clinging onto his shoulders. “He can’t remember anything about himself, or his home. But I swear, he’s harmless.”

“Harmless when he’s been stealing from us?” The adults squinted, and Yixing felt his forehead begin to sweat.

“He’s probably just hungry!” he said defensively, feeling behind him as if to make sure “Baekhyun” was still there. His hand grazed against bony ribs, and he almost gasped; underneath Baekhyun’s baggy clothes he had never noticed.

He honestly should have expected this since Baekhyun was a wanderer, but the boy was always so playful that Yixing hadn’t realized. How Baekhyun was able to keep up his energy was beyond him. “C-can’t you have sympathy for a kid my age?”

It was the most assertive he’d ever been, especially towards older folk in the village. Everyone seemed to exchange peculiar glances, before Yixing turned around to negotiate with the boy.

“B... _Baekhyun_ ,” he began, trying to make his voice sound like it wasn’t the first time he was calling the boy that. He glared a bit when he saw his friend stifling a laugh. “If you apologize, and promise not to steal again, then they’ll let it go.”

“But Yixing,” Baekhyun said in a whisper, looking a bit lost. “That’s a lie, I’m probably going to do it again.”

“No, you _won’t_ ,” Yixing said through gritted teeth, hoping to god nobody was hearing this exchange. “Why didn’t you ever tell me you were thieving? _This_ is what you meant, when you said you’ve been to my village?”

“I didn’t think you’d like the sound of me stealing,” Baekhyun shrugged, and Yixing felt his eye twitch. But at the very least, Baekhyun wasn’t wrong.

“Look—I’ll talk to our elders, and convince them to let you be one of us. That way you can work your share and not have to resort to stealing to survive. So for now, do as I say.”

The two looked extremely suspicious in the eyes of the village folk as they aggressively whispered to each other like this, until Yixing finally shoved Baekhyun out to the vendors and merchants he had stolen from over the past week.

“I’m...sorry,” he began as he kicked aimlessly at the ground, effectively breaking through all the murmurs going on around him. “I won’t do it again. I promise.”

If this had happened on its own, Baekhyun probably would have still gotten chewed out and given the boot. But with Yixing right there, everyone who had been upset a second ago seemed to reluctantly reconsider.

“Yixing, you take him to the elders and figure out what to do with him,” a voice then piped up from the crowd. Yixing looked up and was filled with relief to see it was Minseok, who was holding large buckets of produce on the pole perched on his shoulders. If Yixing’s presence softened the anger towards Baekhyun, then Minseok would diminish it entirely; everyone trusted him, without fail. “He’s only your age. If he doesn’t have a home, he probably just doesn’t know better.”

He looked the unknown boy up and down as Yixing nodded obediently, before tossing over a pear that Baekhyun caught and immediately began to tear at with his teeth. “And the kid’s starving. Feed him, afterwards.”

Thanking Minseok a million times in his heart, Yixing pulled Baekhyun away before anyone could protest or change their mind. As he let out a huge sigh to get out all of his shaky nerves, his friend merely followed him while happily munching on his fruit.

 

With Baekhyun being but a child, it didn’t take much convincing on Yixing’s part to get him accepted as a member of the village despite his pickpocketing. After Yixing told the village elders how he had no home to return to nor memories, he assured that they had been friends long enough to assess his character (leaving out that it had only been about a week). It was thus decided that Baekhyun could stay, so long as he stayed out of trouble.

“Who was that man?” Baekhyun asked as Yixing began showing him around. “The young one, from before.”

“Minseok,” Yixing answered. Baekhyun nodded in realization, now able to attach a face to the name Yixing frequently brought up in his stories. “He was the son of one of our village’s leaders, people are always ready to listen to what he has to say.”

“Ah...a leader-type. I could sense it,” Baekhyun speculated. “Everyone seems to respect him.”

“He was the lone survivor from the fishing trek, that day the storm hit,” Yixing explained. “He deserves the respect.”

“I see. So now what, Yixing?” Baekhyun then continued. “Do I just stick around you?”

“That’s what the elders said. They put me in charge of you...the adults that were left without spouses after the storm are hardly ever willing to take in more orphaned children, I was lucky I had Minseok. But you’ve already seen how he is—he’ll gladly take you in with us.”

“I see,” Baekhyun repeated blankly. Yixing understood it was probably strange, for someone who had no recollection of ever having a home, to suddenly be thrust into one. It then made him wonder if Baekhyun would even take this seriously.

“You will stay, right?” Yixing questioned. He tilted his head, looking and feeling uncertain. “This wasn’t just to get you out of trouble. After I vouched for you, you’re not planning to run off...are you?” He held his breath, and was incredibly relieved, beyond even his own understanding, when Baekhyun smiled wide.

“No. Of course not,” he declared, beginning to hum and tug on Yixing’s hands. “I’ll stay. Sounds fun, being with you all the time.”

“But you have to pull your weight here, just like everyone else,” Yixing said almost scoldingly, but Baekhyun still seemed as carefree as ever. “Minseok can’t do everything for us. Okay, Baekhyun?”

Again, Baekhyun didn’t appear to take the words too seriously, and Yixing could only groan before continuing to trudge on home. But he suddenly remembered something, turning back towards his friend.

“I’ve already gotten used to calling you Baekhyun,” Yixing said, scratching his head. “I couldn't even ask if you liked it, I’m sorry. But you’ll need a name, anyway. Shall we keep this?”

“I’ve gotten used to it too,” Baekhyun replied with a grin, beginning to test the way it flowed off his tongue. “I like it. Baekhyun, Baekhyun. _Baek–_ hyun...Baekhyun!”

“Okay, okay, we’ll keep it,” Yixing said, finally returning Baekhyun’s smile. He held out his hand, and when Baekhyun took it in his own, he drew the boy in close to pat him on the back. “Welcome, Baekhyun.”

“Yeah...welcome,” Baekhyun giggled as he repeated the endearment, his eyes forming narrow crescents that were a testament of his joy. Yixing felt like it was the first time he had seen him look that happy—perhaps he really had wanted a home all along. It made Yixing feel both pleased over this development yet regretful he hadn’t integrated Baekhyun here earlier. So he decided he’d have to take it upon himself to take care of him, and make sure he’d learn to lead a fulfilling life.

 

That night after sharing a meal with Baekhyun and Minseok, who welcomed the boy only after thoroughly lecturing him on work and stealing, Yixing nestled into his blankets with Baekhyun now in his own set of bedding beside him. Yixing laid with his eyes open, marveling over how he now had his friend’s soft breathing to listen to in addition to the waves. It was only a small change, yet he quickly felt his loneliness beginning to disappear with the knowledge that Baekhyun was right next to him.

“By now you’d be sneaking out to the sea, huh. Although with how scary Minseok is when he's serious, I don't know how you risked it,” Baekhyun shuddered, his voice cutting into the silence. Yixing chuckled as he turned over, glancing at Baekhyun’s slowly blinking eyes. “Are you having trouble sleeping?”

“I dunno. It actually feels nice to be sharing this room with someone,” Yixing relented, and Baekhyun looked sympathetic. Resting his head on his arm, Yixing wondered if he could ask this out loud. “Could you...sing me that song, again?”

At this Baekhyun smiled, fulfilling the request with his melodious voice that had Yixing’s mind drifting off. He thought to ask how Baekhyun, a little nine year old boy, could have such a soothing voice; but not wanting to interrupt the lullaby and with his eyelids lowering, he decided it was something he could bring up in the morning.

∬∮〟〃〃

“ _Hey_ ,” Yixing scolded, looking up above when a peach pit fell onto the ground. He squinted, spotting Baekhyun’s foot hanging off one of the branches. “I see you.”

Baekhyun giggled a little, letting himself fall back so he hung upside down with his legs hooked around the thick branch. His cheeks were stuffed full of fruit, juice dripping down his chin.

“You can’t eat those, we’re supposed to bring them back,” Yixing sighed, propping the wooden ladder against the trunk of the peach tree.

“Ah’m mot,” Baekhyun slurred through his full mouth, and Yixing rolled his eyes.

“You’re not? I’ll give you all of my pay if you open your mouth.” Baekhyun’s face turned pink, and in his struggle to swallow everything at once he ended up choking a little. Yixing snorted. “That’s what you get.”

“Ms. Lee said I could have just one,” Baekhyun said with a pout, finally sitting upright and sliding down the tree. He was like a monkey; Yixing didn’t know how he had so much stamina.

“So you only ate one?” Yixing asked. Baekhyun continued to pout, affirming what Yixing already knew. “I thought so.”

“I was hungry. And bored. I don’t wanna work today,” Baekhyun whined, leaves stuck in his hair from hiding in the groves. “Can’t we play instead, Yixing?”

“We’ll play later,” Yixing promised, and his eyes widened when Baekhyun began climbing up the ladder right behind him. “Be careful!”

He shrieked when Baekhyun snaked his arms around his legs, the ladder shaking a little as he looked down. “Baekhyun! I’m gonna fall!”

“I’m helping you stay steady!” Baekhyun joked. Yixing kept screaming at him until he finally ceased his teasing, and he finally hopped off before the ladder fell over.  “I saw Jongdae out by the boats on my way here. Are you not going to do any of that kind of work?”

Yixing exhaled, climbing further up the tree and beginning to pluck the peaches off of the branches. Half of him wanted to dodge the question, but he knew Baekhyun would start whining.

“I don’t know,” he said, tossing the fruit down to Baekhyun, who dropped them gently into their basket. “Minseok tried to teach me how to fish, once. But when I got too close to the ocean, I couldn’t stop shaking and crying. I don’t understand, Jongdae and everyone else are fine. Why aren’t I...?”

“People are different,” Baekhyun explained, accidentally dropping a peach on the ground and praying Yixing didn’t see. Frantically picking it up and inspecting it, he then prayed Yixing wouldn’t notice the bruise later, either. “And different things scare different people.”

“What are you scared of, Baekhyun?” Yixing then asked, looking over his shoulder. Baekhyun legitimately seemed to think about it, tapping a finger against his chin.

“Nothing yet, I guess,” he pondered, making Yixing hang his head. “Still. You don’t have to go out into the ocean, if you don’t want to. Aren’t I fun, enough?”

“Yes, but you’ll probably be gone everyday too, once you're old enough to go out into sea,” Yixing replied a bit wryly. “You love the ocean more than anyone I know.”

“But I love Yixing more,” Baekhyun purred, and Yixing finally smiled a little.

“Yeah, yeah. Weirdo.” He slid down from the ladder, looking around at the groves and trees. “I think we’ve done enough for today. Come on, we can go to the cove after we drop these off.”

“Okay!” Baekhyun gave a small grunt as he picked up his heavy basket, before hobbling ahead of Yixing eagerly. He almost tripped in his enthusiasm, nearly giving Yixing a heart attack before they began to laugh. Baekhyun began to hum as he stepped along, imitating the songbirds chirping nearby. “You know, the trees and crops here are so pretty, Yixing.”

“You came at the right time, I guess,” Yixing replied, Baekhyun looking back at him questioningly. “We were in a drought for nearly a year, before the storm hit.”

“The really bad one?” Baekhyun asked. Yixing nodded.

“The really bad one. This is the one good thing that came out of it, if you can even say that. It ended the dry spell, and people think that it at least helped bring nutrients to our soil again.”

“Hm…”

“It’s not like it makes things right. But it’s something, at least.” Yixing passed Baekhyun, who had stopped walking and was still looking at him, baffled.

“You and the other villagers keep saying things like that, about ‘making things right’, or ‘betrayal’. What’s that for?” Baekhyun blinked innocently, and Yixing wondered how he couldn’t know.

“Do you really not know about Buoxian?” he asked, and the way Baekhyun cocked his head to the side was answer enough for him. “Our god, of the waters surrounding us—at least, that’s how it used to be. Now it’s almost taboo to bring him up.”

“Why?” Baekhyun asked, still not understanding.

“Because of how badly he harmed us with the storm!” Yixing said back, wondering if he was speaking in tongues; he had already talked about the tragedy so many times to Baekhyun, yet he remained just as oblivious every time it was brought up. “That day was something sacred in our village. We prayed and performed rituals in front of the blue flames, and gave up almost everything we had as offerings the night before. We did it all for Buoxian. But for some reason this year, he...punished us. Abandoned us.”

“...Oh,” Baekhyun murmured, finally getting it, and Yixing automatically drew back. “So he broke the trust, between himself and his worshippers, by letting that storm hurt the village.”

“Yeah.” Yixing heaved a sigh. “You probably just don’t remember, but everyone around this part of the country knows of Buoxian. And treats him more or less in the same regard, now. You must have lost your memory after it happened.”

“Maybe. But I get it, now.” Baekhyun seemed to think hard about it, following after Yixing quietly. “But what if...Buoxian needed to do it, because there was no other way to end the drought? Or something. What if he didn't want to hurt anyone?”

“It’s not like we’ll ever know,” Yixing shrugged, before turning and seeing Baekhyun’s disappointed expression. Pursing his lips a little, he finally nodded the slightest bit. “But I guess it’s possible.”

He paused, choosing his words carefully. “Don’t repeat this to the other villagers, but to be honest...I had a hard time believing it, that he’d do that to us on purpose. I mean, after our people worshipped him for so long, he couldn’t be _completely_ bad...right?”

Yixing paused after that speculation, shaking his head as he debated with himself. “No...he took my family. I can’t possibly know why it happened, or what he hoped to achieve. I just know that it’s still wrong.”

Baekhyun smiled weakly as he patted Yixing on the back, the two wordlessly agreeing to leave it at that. The glint of the summer sun was bright, and after finishing their tasks the boys hurried over to the ocean to feel the cool breeze through their hair.

As always, Yixing sat by the rocks and watched Baekhyun play in the water to his heart’s desire. It was a strange, to say the least. Ever since his fear had developed, he naturally got saddened whenever he would watch his friends go into the sea without him, feeling excluded.

But when it was Baekhyun, and Yixing would see that bright smile that formed on Baekhyun’s face even when he was just splashing around by himself, he somehow felt at ease. Like that smile was enough, for Yixing, to know that he didn’t have to feel so lonely, all the time.

∬∮〟〃〃

Baekhyun’s integration into the village quickly became old news and Yixing, along with the other inhabitants, grew completely used to the boy’s presence in their community. He was still rather mischievous, but also bright with a good heart; it was hard for anyone not to fall for his charm.

The summer turned to fall in what seemed like seconds, and spring came around before they could even notice winter was chilling them to the bone. It was soon that Baekhyun and Yixing had spent a few years together, their youth flying by. Now the cold season was once again drawing near, and with everyone donning their winter garb to keep warm, Baekhyun was disgruntled as always that he couldn’t play in the sea as much as he’d like.

“You’ll catch a cold,” Yixing reminded him like he had to everyday, chuckling as he touched Baekhyun on the shoulder. Now 11, going on 12, they had grown as close as could be. “I knew I’d find you out here.”

It was early in the morning, and fog still covered the horizon. Yixing had woken up to see Baekhyun not in his bed, which was extremely rare considering how well the boy slept. He knew that he’d be here at the cliff, watching the misty sea.

“I wish spring would get here already,” Baekhyun grumbled in response, swinging his legs back and forth and yelping when he hit his heel against the rocks. Yixing rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around his friend to keep him warm. But Baekhyun’s skin always felt like it radiated heat, no matter what the conditions were outside or how much he complained.

“Why don’t you go find Suho, then?” Yixing teased, and Baekhyun raise an eyebrow. “You could make a wish for winter to never come again.”

“Suho?” Baekhyun asked, snorting when he remembered. “You mean that childish tale. Get enough power, and some god of yours will grant your wish, right? Cute, Yixing.”

“You better not talk that way in front of the adults,” Yixing sighed, giving Baekhyun a nudge. “Either way, we’re still children, you know.”

“I guess I’m just already onto wiser, more mature and individual trains of thought,” Baekhyun said cockily, laughing when Yixing just rolled his eyes yet again. He should keep a count. “Alright, alright. Well, what would you wish for, if you ever traveled to the ocean floor and met this grand Suho?”

“Me?” Yixing scratched his head, for once taking something Baekhyun said seriously. “Hm...I don’t have anything specific I want. Maybe I’d just wish for our village to keep prospering, and for everyone to stay healthy.”

“Boring,” Baekhyun booed, making Yixing puff out his cheeks.

“Excuse me for not thinking only of myself,” he retorted, and Baekhyun flashed a grin in response. “Like someone I know.”

“Who, me? May I remind you, winter is a hard time for everyone. The crops, the animals,” Baekhyun justified himself as leaned on Yixing’s shoulders. “Getting rid of it would be for the good of all—that kind of wish would actually be very selfless. Heroic.”

“Sure,” Yixing hummed, “you’re someone who’s interested in being a hero. What was that again, about being too mature for tales?”

“I was joking,” the other boy whined, and the two kept up the banter for a bit more before Baekhyun seemed to grow pensive. “You know, about Suho. I feel like...I knew a bit about that myth, before I lost my memory.”

“You did?” Yixing raised his eyebrows, watching as Baekhyun seemed to strain over his thoughts. “Do you remember anything else? Even the littlest thing?”

Baekhyun tipped his head up, gazing out at the mist that was only just starting to subside.

“It’s hard,” was all he could say, and Yixing laid a hand on his shoulder in understanding. “No matter how much I try...I just feel like there couldn’t have possibly been anything else, before that night I woke up on the beach.”

“But there has to be,” Yixing argued, a worry line forming on his forehead. “You couldn’t have just...appeared.”

“I know that,” Baekhyun huffed, poking Yixing’s forehead. “It's okay. I don’t care—staying here is good enough for me. I don’t need to remember.”

“You’re sure?” Yixing asked with uncertainty, but Baekhyun nodded with conviction.

“Positive.” Baekhyun stood up, grinning a little. “Come on, Yixing, they should be bringing chickens back today—maybe Minseok will buy us one.”

Yixing complied, letting Baekhyun pull him over to the market. He wasn’t supposed to think of it much, but as he mulled over it for the rest of the day, something occurred to him that he had never before considered.

What if Baekhyun really did remember where his home was, one day? What if he would want to go back the minute he realized it?

Before Yixing knew it, he suddenly became anxious and fearful of the thought. Keeping this sullen feeling inside of him as he spent the day with Baekhyun, who was as adventurous and fearless as ever, Yixing wondered how he came to be so cowardly in comparison.

Because now, he had come to the realization that he had yet another harrowing fear—that Baekhyun would leave one day.

∬∮〟〃〃

Despite the thoughts of Baekhyun’s past that bothered him every once in awhile, Yixing still let himself live out his days peacefully with Baekhyun like he had been. Forcing himself to ignore the worries that crept up from the back of his mind worked most of the time; before he knew it, many more months passed, and it was soon summer again.

Baekhyun’s birthday was celebrated on the day he had been accepted as a member of the village, the sixth of May. He wouldn’t let anyone forget it—Yixing, like every year, was reminded the full duration of the day before that the special occasion was almost here.

“It’s gonna be my birthday soon,” Baekhyun sang over and over again as he and Yixing walked back up the hill to their home, and Yixing just let him be excited. “What are you gonna do for me this year, huh, Xing?”

“Sorry Baek, but I completely forgot,” Yixing said sarcastically. “I didn’t prepare anything.”

It backfired as he suddenly felt actual sympathy when Baekhyun’s expression went absolutely broken, crumpled like he could cry. “I was kidding!”

“I know,” Baekhyun snickered, his cheeky grin immediately coming back. Yixing thought about how awful it would be if Baekhyun ever decided to use his powers of mischief and deception for evil. “I’ll just wait until tomorrow to find out!”

Yixing nodded, wondering if Minseok was home, yet. The two were planning on surprising Baekhyun tomorrow with his favorite foods, as well as a necklace that Yixing asked Minseok’s girlfriend to help him make. It was a pendant, with a beautiful blue stone that Yixing had found near the cove.

Baekhyun and Minseok had naturally grown close over the years, their relationship just like that of Minseok and Yixing. It was a place of three misfits, the villagers often teased goodnaturedly; a now 21 year-old Minseok and two boys who were like his little brothers at heart.

“You didn’t get up to any trouble this week, right Baekhyun?” Minseok asked later that night as he came home, dirt caked on his hands and his expression worn from the labor he had to do during the day. “Bad kids don’t get rewarded on their birthday.”

“I haven’t been in any trouble,” Baekhyun said with a pout, shaking his head defiantly. “And I’m not a kid, Minseok! That threat doesn’t work on me.”

“If you say so,” Minseok hummed, ruffling both Baekhyun’s and Yixing’s hair as he passed by. Yixing laughed a Baekhyun frowned at the teasing, wondering what on earth made Baekhyun in such a rush to grow up.

  
As the night grew late, Yixing and Baekhyun said goodnight first and scurried into the room they still shared. There were many nights where the two hardly got any sleep because they were so busy talking to each other. But tonight, Yixing was feeling the exhaustion of the day dragging down his eyelids, and buried himself into his covers.

“I’m gonna sleep, Baek,” he said drowsily, Baekhyun nodding from across the room.

“You don’t need me to sing you a lullaby?” Baekhyun teased, and Yixing felt his cheeks heat up.

“No,” he murmured, making Baekhyun cackle. “And you should sleep too. It’s your special day tomorrow, after all.”

“Okay, okay.” Baekhyun blew out the lantern in their room and hopped underneath his blankets as well, smiling at Yixing. “Get ready to treat me like the emperor, tomorrow.”

“I’ve been ready,” Yixing replied with a smile, and soon the room fell silent as he dozed off.

 

For some reason he couldn’t discern, he couldn’t stay asleep. He tossed and turned on his mat, his eyelids fluttering and mind unable to fully drift into slumber. Hours later, he slowly opened his eyes halfway, feeling groggy and restless.

“Baek,” he murmured, turned towards the other side of the room to see if, by chance, Baekhyun was still awake too. But like he expected, there was no reply and he gave a sigh. Part of him hoped Baekhyun would be up as well, and keep him company.

Slowly sitting up and rubbing his eyes, he decided he’d go make some tea. But upon standing and looking over at Baekhyun’s bedspread, he grew perplexed to see it was empty.

“Baek?” Yixing asked, louder this time as if Baekhyun was hiding somewhere. He left the bedroom and looked around the darkness of small hut, but no lights were lit and there wasn’t a sound coming from anywhere that could indicate Baekhyun was here.

Scratching his head, he wondered if Baekhyun hadn’t been able to sleep either. If that was the case then there was only one place he’d go, and Yixing knew it better than anyone: the cove.

He slipped out of his house, and it felt extremely similar to the nights he’d sneak out to see Baekhyun when he was eight. Obviously he didn’t have to do that anymore, so the nostalgia of it made him smile.

But that smile disappeared as he walked along the edge of the cliff and gazed out at the beach. Trying to see if he could spot Baekhyun at the shore, he suddenly froze.

“B...Baek?” he called out uncertainly, now running down as fast as he could. He gasped when he ended up scraping his ankle as he jumped down from the rocks, but didn’t have time to pay attention to it in his rush. Now on the dry sand, he cupped his hands around his mouth. “Baekhyun!”

Baekhyun had been at the beach, that wasn’t the surprising part. But this was different. Yixing was watching him wade far out into the water, the surface was almost up to his waist as if he had the intention of going somewhere. Yixing continued to scream his name, but Baekhyun wouldn’t stop, or even turn around to look.

“Baekhyun, stop!” Yixing yelled desperately, wondering why Baekhyun wasn’t even responding. “It’s dangerous to go too far!”

It then occurred to him, that maybe Baekhyun wasn’t completely conscious. But that then dug up the question of how he could get this far, sleepwalking. Yixing shook himself out of it, realizing he didn’t have the time to be asking questions. Not when Baekhyun was still going, seeming to have no intention of stopping.

He ran up to where the water met the sand, but his legs immediately stopped and the vastness of the sea suddenly settled in on Yixing. At the sight of the ocean swallowing Baekhyun, Yixing felt his chest grow tight, his breathing heavy and the sweat already beading on his forehead.

Waves. Thunder. Wind. The visions all came back to him in a flash, and the calm sea that Baekhyun’s silhouette was disappearing into soon became a swirling mass of terror that Yixing couldn’t wake up from. Yixing felt himself grow shaky on his feet, his mind in a disorient on what to do about Baekhyun when he couldn’t even work up the nerve to step into the water.

Clutching at his shirt, about to cry, Yixing had no other choice. He finally tore himself away and began sprinting back home, as fast as his legs that were about to buckle would take him. He hated himself—he hated how he couldn’t even get himself in the water to bring back Baekhyun, that he couldn’t set aside his pitiful fear for something so urgent.

After hurrying back to the village at top speed to burst back into the hut, he jostled a snoring Minseok awake.

“Minseok, wake up!” he cried, immediately pulling Minseok to sit up the second the older opened his eyes. “It's an emergency!”

“Yixing, do you know how late—hey!” Minseok was soon cut off because Yixing couldn’t waste any more time. Yixing could barely hear his own panicked words over his rushing heartbeat, yanking a disoriented Minseok up by the arm and beginning to pull him over to the beach.

“W-we need to hurry,” he urged, and Minseok, despite being lost and confused and probably cranky, was never one to ignore someone in need.

“Yixing, I still don’t know what's going on—” Minseok was saying over and over again throughout the rush to get over there, until the two were finally at the beach.

“You have to bring him back!” Yixing sobbed, pointing at the ocean where Baekhyun was still wading in, the water now up to his chest. After the storm, the village discouraged anyone from going in so far without a boat. “Something’s wrong with him! He doesn’t hear me!”

Minseok was still confused, but now seeing the gravity of the situation and the way Yixing was falling apart, he finally grew serious.

“Okay—wait here, calm down,” Minseok instructed sternly, and Yixing could only stand there as he watched the older run into the water, splashing against it hurriedly in contrast to how quietly Baekhyun had been disappearing into it.

Yixing bit at his nails, a habit he thought he had quit as a child, looking around frantically as Minseok caught up to Baekhyun. They were out so deep; Baekhyun was definitely in some kind of sleepy trance, he didn’t turn or even seem to notice Minseok chasing after him. Yixing didn’t even realize he was violently trembling, tears streaming down his cheeks; an effect that both the ocean and his worry over Baekhyun brought upon him.

When Minseok finally caught up to Baekhyun and clutched onto him, it was a whole other spectacle. Baekhyun abruptly began thrashing, and Yixing could faintly hear Minseok’s urgent yells to get him to calm down. The struggle finally subsided after Minseok managed to grab Baekhyun by force and sling him over his shoulder, allowing relief to wash over Yixing at last.

Baekhyun still flailed within Minseok’s grip, until he eventually seemed to go slack and pass out. Yixing watched, completely affixed on the sight, as Minseok slowly trudged back to the shore and placed Baekhyun down on the sand.

Yixing ran up and immediately kneeled by Baekhyun, who let out a violent cough, having swallowed a lot of seawater. Minseok himself was panting from the tussle, hair wet and expression bemused.

“What’s gotten into him?” he asked in disillusionment, looking down at Baekhyun who was suddenly so complacent-looking now that he was knocked out. “He kept yelling, fighting against me. Like he didn’t want to be saved.”

“I don't know,” Yixing whispered, gently caressing Baekhyun’s cheek. He hung his head, feeling absolutely worn from the events that had just transpired and immediately feeling guilty about it—he wasn’t the one who had to go in and get Baekhyun. “Thank you so much, Minseok. If you hadn’t been here to bring him back, I...”

“You’re the one who ran and got me in time,” Minseok said, finally catching his breath and then scooping Baekhyun into his arms. “If it took any longer, he might’ve… Well, all that matters is that he’s fine.”

Yixing felt himself begin to cry again, trying to keep it in as a teardrop rolled out of his eyelid and plopped off his nose. He desperately wiped at his eyes as Minseok fruitlessly reassured him not to cry, wondering why he had to be so weak.

“I couldn’t go in, to save him myself,” he choked out as he followed after Minseok. Intrusive grains of sand clung to his feet and weighed him down, a reminder of his cowardice. “Even for Baekhyun, I couldn’t…”

“Shh, Yixing. You did everything you could,” Minseok said calmly. Yixing could barely bring himself to nod, and Minseok tried to brush off the heavy mood with a laugh. “We’d better hope he doesn’t do something like this again. What a way to act, on his birthday.”

They changed Baekhyun into dry clothes when they got home, and if Yixing was having trouble sleeping before, he had basically given up on it now. Despite Minseok’s instruction to not worry, Yixing sat by Baekhyun’s bedding that night and watched as his friend slowly breathed in and out. It was like nothing had even happened.

He was filled with such a twisted feeling in his stomach that couldn’t be quelled, resorting to carding his fingers aimlessly through Baekhyun’s still damp hair with the hope that this wouldn’t happen again. The room became filled with bluish light as dawn approached, and Yixing didn’t register how much time had passed since he had been sitting here.

Gazing from Baekhyun’s lashes to the gentle curve of his nose to his pink lips parted slightly, Yixing felt it was strikingly similar to the day he found Baekhyun washed up on the beach. So calm, despite the situation he had been in. Yixing thought that the more he lived with Baekhyun, the more ‘normal’ the boy had become in his eyes. But now, he found that Baekhyun was as mysterious as ever. And seeing what Baekhyun had done tonight, Yixing now knew that wasn't a good thing.

 

He must have finally passed out in those last couple of hours, because before he knew it he was being woken up with Baekhyun pounding on his chest in the morning and screaming that it was his big day.

“Yixing!” Baekhyun called in delight, shaking Yixing up and giggling at his disheveled state from being so rudely woken. “Guess what day it is! C’mon, wake up!”

“B-Baekhyun,” Yixing said immediately as he processed what was going on, sitting up with his eyes wide. “Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow, looking at Yixing like he was spouting nonsense. “What do you mean? Did you have a bad dream again?”

“No, I…” Yixing swallowed, staring back at Baekhyun’s innocent expression. “You don’t remember last night?”

“How can _I_ remember some nightmare _you_ had, dummy?” Baekhyun asked in response, before getting up and smiling at Yixing over his shoulder. “Hurry up so we can eat breakfast!”

Yixing just sat there, growing anxious just recalling the events of last night. He couldn’t have dreamt it; he looked down at his ankle, that still had the scrape on it along with dried blood that had dripped onto his heel. In the midst of freaking out over Baekhyun he had forgotten about it until now, but it was evidence that last night wasn't a figment of his imagination.

He stalked out into the main room, where Baekhyun and Minseok had been waiting for Yixing. After Yixing sat down with uncertainty still laced in his expression, Minseok cleared his throat.

“Baekhyun, Happy Birthday,” he began, and Yixing realized he hadn’t even said it in the confusion of the morning.

“Happy Birthday,” he echoed after Minseok, saddened that he wasn’t even the first to say it. Regardless Baekhyun remained chummy, accepting the words with his bright smile on his face. It faded though, when he realized Minseok and Yixing weren’t really smiling with him.

“Do you remember what you did last night?” Minseok continued, and Baekhyun’s eyes widened as Yixing silently affirmed that what had happened was real.

“What?” Baekhyun replied, bewildered. He looked from Minseok to Yixing, blinking rapidly. “What’d I do?”

“You went out into the sea,” Yixing reminded him, eyebrows curled in worry. “You were going in, way too deep, and wouldn’t even look when I called you. I had to get Minseok to pull you out.”

“Me?” Baekhyun gasped, pointing at himself, unable to believe it. “But…”

“You were probably just acting out in your sleep,” Minseok explained, motioning for Baekhyun to calm down. “But it was still dangerous. Hopefully it was just a one-time thing; it’s not like it’s happened before. At least, not to our knowledge…”

“I swear it hasn’t. I don’t think I’d _be_ here, if it has…” Baekhyun murmured, looking down at his clothes. “So that’s why...I had a feeling this isn’t what I went to sleep in.” He peered over at Yixing. “And Xing, when I woke up you were sleeping with your head on my lap.”

Yixing felt himself blush for no real reason; he and Baekhyun had slept in the same bad a few times, when one of them was scared of something or couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was the fact Baekhyun knew how obsessively worried Yixing had been.

“I’m...sorry,” Baekhyun then said remorsefully, and Minseok reached over to pat the boy on the head.

“You obviously didn’t mean to do it. Come now, this isn’t like you. It’s your birthday—enjoy it.” He then got up, grabbing his water pouch before pushing out the door. “I’ll be back later for our celebration. Go say hello to everyone today, say thank you if they give you gifts. Okay, Baekhyun?”

After Minseok left, Yixing noticed Baekhyun still looked a little sullen. Seeing how guilty and confused he was, Yixing now wondered if they should have told Baekhyun at all.

“Baek, don’t worry about it,” he tried to comfort his friend, laying a hand on his back. “It’s not like you knew what you were doing.”

“I know. But,  _why_? What if it happens again, and…” Baekhyun gave a sigh, hanging his head reluctantly. “You must’ve been worried, with the way you are.”

“Hey.” Yixing wondered if that was an apology or an insult, finally smiling a little when the playful Baekhyun he knew was finally starting to come back. He reached into his pocket, tapping Baekhyun on the head to get him to look. “Cheer up. Here—my present to you.”

“Hm?” Baekhyun’s interest was immediately grabbed, and his face lit up when Yixing pulled out the necklace he had made for him. “Wow! For me?” He immediately made grabby hands for it, whining when Yixing jokingly held it out of reach.

“Who else?” Yixing snickered, finally giving in and putting it around Baekhyun’s neck. “I found the stone, and asked Soeun to help me make it into a pendant. It’s the color of the sea during the summer—your favorite thing.”

“It’s so pretty,” Baekhyun cooed as he held up the stone, beaming at Yixing. It was safe to say that he felt better now—and seeing this, so did Yixing. “Thank you.”

“Happy Birthday.” Yixing pulled Baekhyun into his embrace, taking the other boy by surprise before he submitted happily. “Don’t ever go too far, Baekhyun.”

“Far?” Baekhyun tilted his head when they separated, cheeks pink with pleasure. When Yixing nodded, he giggled and gave him a playful push. “Never, Xing. I’m still your responsibility, remember?”

Yixing didn’t say it out loud, but he would always remember. Baekhyun was the one who he was worried would forget.

∬∮〟〃〃

Listening carefully to Jongdae counting out loud, Yixing remained tucked under the tall shrubs to keep himself hidden. It was a lazy afternoon, and the neighborhood boys were finding idle ways to occupy themselves; these sort of games were one such way.

In the final seconds of Jongdae’s counting, Yixing suddenly heard a loud rustling that made him fear that a boar or some other dangerous animal was near. But instead a weight crashed into him, and he found a giggling Baekhyun sitting on top of him.

“Hey, you’re going to give me away!” Yixing whined, making Baekhyun remember the game of stealth they were playing. He got off of Yixing, crouching next to him, the two boys shushing each other through their giggles.

They listened as Jongdae found a few of their friends and searched around, at some point beginning to hold onto each other in anticipation with their cheeks almost pressing together.

“If we win, we should make Jongdae give us his pocket money,” Baekhyun proposed.

“We won’t win if you don’t say quiet,” Yixing lectured, about to say more when he heard Jongdae yelling.

“Baekhyun, I see you there!” Jongdae had suddenly yelled, and Yixing groaned in frustration when he realized that Baekhyun’s pale hair had been sticking out from above the shrubs.

“Oops—quick, Xing!” Baekhyun said gleefully, grabbing Yixing’s wrist and pulling him up. The two boys ran through the crowded forest path, laughing as they evaded Jongdae and yelping as branches lightly raked at their skin.

Twigs and pebbles crunched under their feet, and Yixing felt himself tiring out as they cut across the congested greenery surrounding the path in order to hide again from their pursuer. When they finally believed they were out of sight, they caught their breath and laughed as they clapped their hands together.

“We got away, but I think we also got lost,” Yixing observed after their short celebration, carefully stepping out of the bushes and back onto the dirt pathway. “You really do whatever you can to win.”

“Of course,” Baekhyun jeered, looking both directions before spotting something. “I see stepping stones over there, come on.”

Fourteen had been a simple age; the boys were not quite considered old enough for higher responsibilities yet and were enjoying their last few years that they were considered children in the village. As much as Baekhyun would puff out his chest and deny that he was a child, this current moment was a testament to how he was someone who enjoyed these sort of games the most.

As they walked through the forest, Yixing noticed how Baekhyun’s pendant shined under the sunlight that was filtering in through the trees. It made him smile, at how Baekhyun hadn’t taken it off since the day he had received it, how much he had shown it off to everyone. During times where Baekhyun had been stressed or nervous, he would squeeze onto the aqua-colored stone; Yixing liked to believe that it was his good luck charm, and that it worked.

To Yixing’s and Minseok’s relief, the first time Baekhyun had wandered into the sea in his sleep been his last. It hadn’t happened again, thankfully, but it was still a great cause of concern. Yixing even set up a bell in their room that would alert him if there was ever a time Baekhyun tried to sleepwalk out. His worry kept him up sometimes, as he feared that the night would come where he’d once again have to get Minseok to retrieve Baekhyun from the sea.

The sight of Baekhyun disappearing into the horizon, and the struggle he had put up, kicking and crying out when Minseok took hold of him, was ingrained in Yixing’s mind. With Baekhyun’s growing body, both Yixing and Minseok appreciated that the incident had been a one time thing; managing him would only get harder as he grew older, should there ever be a second time.

And so the three had mutually deemed that night as a severe case of sleepwalking, keeping it hush from the other villagers. Yixing just hoped that it had disappeared for good.

  
“You know, I don’t think I’ve been in this part of the forest before,” Baekhyun announced, interrupting Yixing’s thoughts. Yixing glanced around, thinking it was very familiar. When it registered, he raised his eyebrows.

“So that’s why it’s familiar...I know where this is,” he said, looking down at the cobblestones that he hadn’t stepped on in years. “Nobody comes here anymore.”

“You mean they used to?” Baekhyun cocked his head to the side in confusion. “Why not anymore?”

“Because—” Yixing paused, seeing something ahead that would do all the explaining. Giving a small exhale, he raised a hand to point at a clearing ahead. “Because...of that.”

Baekhyun’s gaze followed the direction of Yixing’s index finger, and curious as ever, he scurried along the path and found himself at a small little clearing that he indeed had never seen before.

A small pedestal stood on top of the small patch of grass and dirt, which was the only thing that laid intact; everything around it was in shambles. The shrine now lay in a heap of wooden frames and paper screens, and at Baekhyun’s feet laid a pile of crumbled stone.

“What is all this?” Baekhyun asked quietly, bending down and picking up a large fragment of stone that had once formed the head of a sea dragon.

“It’s one of the shrines that used to be dedicated to Buoxian,” Yixing explained, lowering Baekhyun’s hands to usher him to drop what he was holding. “The villagers destroyed it after...you know.”

He sighed. “I prayed to this statue, the night before his marked betrayal. I threw my salts into the flames, watched them turn blue...I really thought he could hear me, everyone did. But now he's treated like a curse. Things can change so quickly.”

It went quiet between the two, and Yixing understood that it wasn’t the happiest subject. But when he noticed Baekhyun seemed unnaturally reticent for someone who knew virtually nothing about the god, he looked beside him and felt his eyes go wide.

Baekhyun wasn’t making a sound and his face remained perfectly calm as his stare bore into the pathetic sight. But what stunned Yixing was the tears that had suddenly formed in Baekhyun’s eyes, teeming from his lids before cascading down his cheeks. Yixing drew back, unable to believe what he was witnessing; Baekhyun never cried. And Yixing couldn’t understand why it was happening now, for something like this.

“B...Baekhyun?” he got out in a whisper. It seemed to make Baekhyun awake from his reverie, and his breath hitched when he noticed the tears falling from his eyes.

“Oh…” Baekhyun murmured, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his sleeve in shock. His voice wasn’t even breaking, it was as if his eyes had just begun to act independently on their own. “I—I don’t know where that came from…”

“What’s wrong?” Yixing asked sternly, making Baekhyun face him. “Is something in your eye, or…”

“No, I,” Baekhyun breathed in, allowing Yixing to clean away the last few tears that had streamed down his face. “Sorry. Forget that happened, it was completely out of nowhere.”

“I’ll say,” Yixing mumbled back, still at a loss. “Are you sure you’re alright? Are you...sad, about something?”

“No. I’m fine. Let’s just get out of here,” Baekhyun said dismissively, suddenly walking away at a pace even Yixing struggled to catch up with at first. “Jongdae’s going to wonder where we are. And this place kind of gives me the creeps.”

“Okay…” Yixing couldn’t think of what to say anyway, and knew that even if he could, Baekhyun was as clueless as he was as to what just happened.

But of course the strange occurrence remained in his mind. He eventually came to the conclusion that, wherever Baekhyun was from before he had lost his memory, he must have worshipped Buoxian just like Yixing’s village did. So seeing the remains of his shrine must have pulled at his emotions, deep within him. It was possible, Yixing rationalized, although he still wasn’t completely convinced that Baekhyun’s intense response made total sense.

He thought of mentioning this theory to Baekhyun, before deciding to keep his mouth shut. He didn’t need to see Baekhyun like that, again, and decided he would then on refrain from bringing up Buoxian. Thinking it was only the right thing to do.

∬∮〟〃〃

“Did you feel any different?”

Yixing looked beside him, raising an eyebrow at the vague question Baekhyun had asked him.

“What do you mean?”

“When you had your ceremony, on your 16th birthday.”

“Oh.” Yixing sat up, the long grass and ferns of the field they had been lying in tickling his legs. He rubbed his chin, thinking about it. “Not really. It’s more of just something that happens, then you move on with your life.”

“I was thinking that, too.” Baekhyun stretched out his limbs, looking like a cat leisurely basking in the sun. “I was just wondering, now that both of our birthdays have passed.”

The boys were now 16 years of age, and were expected to take on many more responsibilities as they began to transition into adult life. Although Yixing hardly admitted it, even Baekhyun had come to visibly mature over the years; still slender in frame, his jaw had gone sharp with just a little bit of his baby fat retained in his cheeks. His eyes had remained bright, while his hands had grown delicate with the prettiest fingers Yixing thought he had ever seen.

Baekhyun himself was very pretty, to which Yixing had come to somewhat of a stunning realization when he was a teenager. It was confusing, to say the least—he didn’t really look at any of his friends the way he looked at Baekhyun. Sure many of the other boys his age had grown up well over the years, but Yixing certainly didn’t _admire_ them to this extent.

Perhaps it was because he and Baekhyun were much closer than anyone else, and there had grown a protectiveness between them that Yixing felt in secret. Whatever it could be, it constantly puzzled him.

“Now that we’re old enough to be on our own, Minseok will probably marry Soeun and move in with her family. Or make a new home of his own,” Baekhyun said out of nowhere, making Yixing’s lips purse. He then chuckled a bit. “Or kick us out.”

“Yes...that’s fair. He’s held off on it because of us, after all. Most men are starting to have kids at his age,” Yixing speculated, nonetheless feeling a little saddened by the thought. “It’s a bit sad, right?”

“Yeah. I guess in another few years we’ll be expected to find wives too,” Baekhyun said, scratching his head. “Have you been thinking about that?”

“Not especially, no.” Yixing felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips, and nudged Baekhyun’s side with his elbow. “But what about you? I heard Taeyeon talking to her friends about you.”

“Her? She’s the one who made fun of me when we were kids, saying my hair was gross and calling me a weirdo,” Baekhyun snorted. Yixing could only shrug.

“That was when we were younger. Things are different now.” He cradled his knees, gazing at Baekhyun from the side. “I think you’re someone lots of girls admire. You’re one of the best fishers, and you’re so outgoing. And you’re growing quite handsome.”

“I’ve _always_ been handsome,” Baekhyun huffed, making Yixing blow a raspberry. “Those kind of things just haven’t crossed my mind yet. Taking a wife, starting a family—just thinking about it gives me a headache.”

It was his turn to elbow Yixing with a teasing expression. “What about you, are you planning on leaving me for some girl, too?”

“I—no,” Yixing sputtered, face turning red and hating how Baekhyun laughed at him. “Not now. I’ve thought about it, sure, but…it's still a ways away. And it’s not like I’ve met a girl I like, yet...”

“We're only 16, we have a bit of time,” Baekhyun chittered. Yixing nodded; he normally thought he’d love to finally be an ‘official’ adult who could be taken seriously, but now he was thankful that he could put something as daunting as marriage off for just a bit longer. He couldn’t possibly imagine doing that anytime soon.

Lost in these thoughts, he only stirred out of it when Baekhyun continued.

“Hey, Xing,” Baekhyun started, tapping on his friend’s shoulder. “If Minseok leaves the hut, we’ll stay together, right? I don’t think I’d have fun being on my own.”

“I thought that was a given,” Yixing said quietly, almost feeling offended for some reason he couldn’t discern. He had come to subconsciously believe that it was a default, being with Baekhyun forever—he felt silly for thinking this way, when it was obvious that things would have to change eventually.

“But you know,” Yixing added on, trying to forget his cluttered thoughts, “I pity your wife if you start that sleep-walking habit of yours, again.”

“ _Hey._  It was one time,” Baekhyun pouted, falling back on the grass with a _thump_. The pendant was still around his neck, and jangled as he tumbled down. “What about you, your wife will have to deal with someone who cries when a sand crab pinches him.”

“Hey, _that_ was one time, too,” Yixing muttered back, grabbing a handful of grass and tossing it at Baekhyun’s face. He grinned when Baekhyun spit out flecks of grass and dirt with a yelp, until the boy suddenly grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down.

They started to wrestle a bit, laughing and yelling at each other to surrender. It had been a while since they had roughhoused; even as kids, Yixing was hardly the type to engage in these kind of things unless Baekhyun really provoked him. And although Baekhyun had gotten moderately strong from rowing boats and working the fields, his lean arms glistening in the summer sun as he rowed, Yixing had made sure to work extra hard in order to keep up.

“Give up,” Yixing commanded when he finally pinned Baekhyun down by the wrists, beaming and starting to pant a little from the sun beating down on them. Baekhyun looked rather unfazed, looking up at him with wily eyes and an upturned smile.

“I’m sorry, Xing,” he said sweetly, but the second Yixing’s grip on him loosened he went in for the kill. He grabbed onto Yixing's shoulders and the two rolled over through the grass, with Baekhyun finally ending up on top. “Ha! I win.”

“That was no fair,” Yixing groaned defeatedly as Baekhyun shifted all his weight onto him, about to protest further until he realized how close they were. He stopped squirming underneath the other boy, looking directly into Baekhyun’s eyes as he suddenly became very conscious of the fact Baekhyun was basically lying on top of him. Their noses were nearly touching, their hips pressed together, which made Yixing swallow audibly and his heartbeat quicken for a reason he couldn’t ascertain.

Baekhyun didn’t seem to realize the compromising position, merely laughing a little and sitting up.

“You always give in too easily,” Baekhyun said, pulling Yixing up by the hand. “That’s why it's fun to push you around.” They both now had bits of grass in their hair and patted onto their clothes, but Yixing was too caught up in what just happened to care. He wondered why that had felt so odd; it’s not like he and Baekhyun were shy around each other, they were as comfortable as could be after all these years, they _had_ to be.

But they weren’t kids anymore, is what he realized. That kind of closeness, now more of an intimacy, would just look strange from afar with how old they were. Averting his gaze but unable to forget the memory of Baekhyun’s face so close to his, so close he could hear his breathing, feel his lips hovering above his skin—he knew two boys their age should never act that way. And Yixing shouldn’t be giving it so much thought.

“I’m gonna go, Xing,” Baekhyun suddenly piped up, getting up and dusting off his clothes. “I promised I’d start helping on the cargo boats, today.”

“A-alright,” Yixing stuttered, hating how his voice sounded the slightest bit shaky. He tried not to look as Baekhyun ran off, but still couldn’t stop himself from glancing at his disappearing figure.

 

He ended up staying there by himself in the wheatfield, lying on his back and looking up at the clouds drifting by. It began to feel uncomfortably warm as he thought once more about how close together they had just been, and after sitting up and patting the color out of his cheeks, he shook his head in denial and trudged off of the overgrown grass.

∬∮〟〃〃

Months passed since Baekhyun had started making Yixing feel _strange_ , for a lack of better words. It wasn’t necessarily bad—all the time, at least. In fact, there were many times where it felt somewhat pleasant, to look at Baekhyun smiling brightly in a way that rivaled the sun, or laughing at something Yixing said, or giving that pouty expression he got when he lost a game.

Yes, Baekhyun was the same, which also meant he was still a mystery. Over the years, certain things happened with him that only added to Yixing’s bafflement.

Adding onto that, Yixing had one more enigma that hung over him all day and all night, which was starting to feel like the most conflicting one yet: the realization that his heart began to beat faster whenever thoughts of Baekhyun crossed his mind.

 

One day, he finished his daily rounds early and began to look for Baekhyun to see if they could spend some time together. The two had been busy lately, coming home at different times as they took up different forms of work. For the past week, Baekhyun had been out from morning until nightfall, delivering cargo to neighboring villages, the two being lucky if they could exchange even a couple words to each other.

Yixing found himself nearly _craving_ to see Baekhyun during these times, when they couldn’t see each other as often. Half of him knew that this wasn’t normal. The other half justified the ache he felt, the pull towards Baekhyun, as a result of their close friendship.

It’s not like it hadn’t crossed his mind to take up the same jobs Baekhyun did. The problem was that Baekhyun had grown more and more involved with the boatmen of the village as he had gotten older, and came to possess skills at sea that rivaled even Minseok’s when he had been their age.

Now, Yixing felt like he was being left behind everytime Baekhyun spent a day out at sea.

After asking around the village and working up a sweat walking back and forth across the market square, he finally caught a glimpse of Baekhyun heading off towards the beach with Jongdae and Sehun. At the mere sight of Baekhyun, Yixing’s heart immediately felt like it was lifting up, and he didn’t even have the time to beat himself up over it as his legs immediately moved to catch up.

“Baekhyun!” Yixing called, running up to his friend who of course looked happy to see him.

“Yixing,” Baekhyun said cheerily, holding out an arm that Yixing instinctively tucked himself into. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in ages. Are you done with your work, today?”

“Yes. Are you? Where are you guys going?” Yixing asked, his smile fading when he saw the other boys were carrying their fishing gear.

“We were going to go check on the nets by the east isle,” Jongdae explained, all three of them smiling a little guiltily, knowing well that Yixing couldn’t come along. Yixing nodded gingerly, trying not to show how it dampened him.

“Oh,” he replied, all too used to being excluded from any activities that took place at the sea. Baekhyun subtly reached up and rubbed his shoulder.

“We’ll be back soon,” he promised, but Yixing shook his head.

“No, it’s okay,” he said, pushing Baekhyun along and ignoring how hard it was becoming to mask his disappointment. “Good luck. I’ll see you at home, hopefully.”

He could faintly hear Sehun asking if Yixing was _still_ afraid of the sea as they left, and the way Baekhyun elbowed him to get him to shut up only made Yixing feel worse. It didn’t make sense for him to be saddened, not when he had been this way for so many years, now. He usually felt ambivalent knowing that he’d never be a fisher or a boatman, understanding that his fear was far too severe.

But he still wished he could be like the majority of the others, who got a thrill from learning to work a boat and to pull in big catches. Who got to experience the excitement of going out to sea at least once.

Sighing as his insecurities caught up with him, he ran a few errands by himself and was at last dragging himself back home when he suddenly bumped into Chanyeol.

“Whoa, be careful,” Chanyeol said, chuckling at Yixing’s wide-eyed expression. “Where’s Baekhyun? You two haven’t been attached by the hip these days like you normally are.”

“He’s heading to the neighboring islands,” Yixing answered sullenly. He looked at the heavy-looking nets Chanyeol had slung over his shoulder, and ended up speaking without thinking. “Are you going to the beach, too?”

“Yeah, just seeing if there’s anything out there today,” Chanyeol replied, looking back curiously when Yixing grabbed him by the sleeve. “Hm? What is it?”

“Can you...teach me?” Yixing said hesitantly, ignoring the fact that he was internally screaming at himself for even asking. Chanyeol raised an eyebrow, looking puzzled.

“ _You_?” He shook his head regretfully, realizing how judgmental it sounded. “I mean—aren’t you afraid, of the sea?” Yixing felt himself wince from getting reminded.

“I am...but I need to get over it at some point,” the younger argued, despite knowing how irrational this was. But for some reason, even if the chances of being able to face his fear and perhaps be closer to Baekhyun were not even 1%, he was acting on it. He wondered how that could be driving him to do something so stupid.

“Yixing, you really don’t have to—”

“Please.” From the slight reluctance apparent on his face, it was clear Chanyeol knew already that this was a bad decision. But always the caring one, he couldn’t say no to Yixing’s pleas.

“Alright. Come on, then.”

 

Yixing already wanted to back out, looking out at the water lapping at the shore. Chanyeol asked him about a million times by now if he really wanted to do this, but he somehow forced himself to remain firm.

“Okay… How about you just get in,” Chanyeol gestured to the long wooden boat lying on the sand, taking up the ropes to drag it along, “and I’ll push the boat out. That way you don’t have to step into the water.”

Before arriving at the beach, Yixing had told himself that he would refuse any shortcuts or extra aid. But now, petrified by the look of the open ocean, he nodded shakenly and obediently stepped into the raft. He sat down, hugging his knees to his chest and silently thanking Chanyeol for considering his well being even now that it was too late.

Chanyeol eventually pulled the boat out to the water, and Yixing tried to suppress his whimpering. He felt the jostle of the boat as it bobbed into the sea, and almost cried out when Chanyeol stepped in it in irrational fear that it would tip over.

“Are you completely sure,” Chanyeol repeated slowly. Yixing nodded, but it was more of a tremble, and all the more unconvincing with the way he had his eyes squeezed shut. “Yixing, you don’t have to prove anything…”

“It’s not because I want to prove anything!” Yixing protested, eyes still closed. “I just...want to try.”

“But…” Chanyeol sighed, reluctantly getting his oars into position with the grooves on the sides of the boat. “Just tell me if you need to go back.”

Yixing remained silent, hating how much Chanyeol and everyone else pitied him. But he supposed he couldn’t blame them; he already wasn’t behaving a fraction of how he had hoped to, and his expectations for himself had reached an all time low.

He began to shiver as he felt the boat begin to drift along the surface of the water, even with how slowly Chanyeol was rowing for Yixing’s sake.

“We’ll just stop here,” Chanyeol said cautiously, the boat coming to a halt. Yixing guessed they weren’t too far out, but he wouldn’t be able to tell with how he refused to open his eyes. “There should be a few fish around here, you’re just learning after all. So, um...you just take a net and—Yixing?”

Yixing knew that he couldn’t avoid it forever. He slowly cracked his eyes opened, and instead of a surprising calmness that he had desperately prayed to feel upon doing so, he instead felt his heart drop into his stomach with what he saw.

Water. All around him, the bluish-green water was there, ready to swallow him. He craned his head to the shore, dreading how agonizingly far it felt even with how short of a distance Chanyeol had rowed. What Yixing had expected, he had no idea, now. All he knew was that he was wrong for even believing this could ever work.

“I...I can’t,” he whispered in a tiny voice, and felt tears building in his eyes. “I can’t do it after all.”

“Hey. That’s okay,” Chanyeol said softly, reaching across to pat Yixing on the shoulder. “What matters is that you tried.”

“Please—take me back,” Yixing choked out, burying his face in his hands, trying but failing to remain calm. Before he knew it he was shaking uncontrollably, sobbing and crying for Chanyeol to hurry.

“Okay, Yixing—” Chanyeol tried to voice over Yixing’s squabbling, taking hold of the oars again. “We’re going.”

Somewhere along the line Yixing had grabbed onto Chanyeol perilously, needing to hold onto _something_ to help him feel more stable as the boat rocked and creaked. Chanyeol didn’t say anything even when Yixing’s arms were starting to squeeze the air out of him, only whispering for Yixing to calm down as he took them back to land.

When the boat finally hit the sand, Yixing didn’t even realize it because of how tightly he was holding onto Chanyeol, how much he had been blocking off all of his senses.

“It’s alright, we’re back,” Chanyeol said softly, patting the younger on the back comfortingly despite how awkward he must feel. At this, Yixing immediately crawled out as fast as he could, landing on the dirt and lying down as he sobbed out of both terror and shame. But that wasn’t even the worst part.

“Yixing?” he soon heard from off in the distance. He didn’t even have to look up to know—it was Baekhyun, who had just gotten back from his own boat and had been unloading a net teeming with fish alongside Sehun and Jongdae.

 _Don’t look at me,_ Yixing wanted to say, but he was absolutely drained of his voice. He heard Baekhyun mutter _oh my god,_ before footsteps pounded towards him in the sand.

“Yixing, you were on a boat!?” Baekhyun exclaimed, kneeling by Yixing and turning him over so he was lying face-up. “ _Why?”_

Baekhyun then looked up, seeing Chanyeol guiltily pulling up the craft and anchoring it onto the sand. When Yixing finally opened his eyes, he was shocked to see Baekhyun’s expression turn, flipping from worry to fury in a matter of seconds.

“Why did you bring Yixing out to sea! Don’t you know he’s afraid!” Baekhyun burst, a snarl in his voice that was directed right at Chanyeol. “Did you or someone else bully him into it?”

Poor Chanyeol was wide-eyed, at a loss for words until Yixing squeezed onto Baekhyun’s arm.

“I asked him to take me, Baek,” he explained weakly, wondering why he had been so stupid. “I made him. Please, stop yelling at him...it’s my fault.”

“What—why?” Baekhyun harangued, looking at Yixing with furrowed brows. “Your fear...”

“I just wanted to face it, I wanted to feel normal, I guess,” Yixing muttered, dried tears leaving stains on his cheeks. “But I couldn’t even open my eyes. Everything’s the same, nothing’s changed since I was a kid. I’m such a weakling, Baekhyun.”

“You’re not,” Baekhyun lamented, helping Yixing up onto his shaky legs. “Yixing, what is this all of a sudden? There’s plenty of things for you to do instead of this, I don’t understand why…”

“I don’t know either. I was just being stupid, okay?” Yixing snapped. He stood up and apologized to Chanyeol, before starting to rush away. “I’ll see you at home. Just forget I was even here.”

“Yixing,” Baekhyun pleaded, unable to fathom what on earth could have brought Yixing to do what he did. Scratching his head when Chanyeol insisted he was just as clueless, Baekhyun finally left to finish his work, his mind filled with too many thoughts and questions.

  
When he got home, Minseok and Soeun were kneeling in the main room, chatting.

“Hello,” he greeted as he toed off his shoes, tilting his head when Minseok gestured to his and Yixing’s room.

“Something’s got him down. I think this is a job for you,” Minseok said gently, knowingly. Baekhyun nodded slowly, before entering his room and seeing a mass of covers that completely hid Yixing from sight.

“Hm, I thought Yixing had come home already,” Baekhyun announced jokingly, closing the door and putting on a smile. “But it looks like nobody’s here.”

When Yixing didn’t even make a noise in response, Baekhyun deduced that he was feeling worse than he thought.

“Yixing,” he sighed, going over and tugging at the blankets to uncover half of Yixing’s tired face. “It doesn’t matter that you’re afraid of the ocean. We’re a fishing village, but there’s plenty of other—”

“It’s not that,” Yixing mumbled, his voice muffled by his covers. Baekhyun took it upon himself to lay down on his side, propping his head on his arm to look intently at his friend.

“Why, then? I was always under the impression that you were fine with staying on land,” he inquired gently. Yixing felt his face heat up, wondering if he could really be honest.

“I was,” he admitted. “But, I don’t know...you’ve been out there so often, these days. It’s not like when we were younger, when I could just watch you splash around until you got tired, and we’d go home together. You explore places I can’t follow now, so...I guess I just got frustrated. Even if I knew from the start that I wouldn’t be able to do it...I felt like I should at least try.”

“Really?” Baekhyun asked in awe. He chuckled a little, making Yixing’s expression grow hurt, thinking it was mocking. But Yixing instantly felt better to realize it was actually out of endearment. “You can’t get enough of me, is what you’re saying.”

“That’s what you take out of that,” Yixing huffed, but he was amazed at how Baekhyun could so easily lift his mood, even a little bit with how disappointed he had been feeling just a few minutes ago. “Remember what you said to me once, when we were kids—”

“I said a lot of things when we were kids,” Baekhyun tittered, and Yixing wrinkled his nose.

“I wasn’t done!” he scolded, making Baekhyun giggle. “I said that you’d always be out at sea when we were older, because you loved it so much. But you said you loved me more.”

He expected Baekhyun to look surprised, or to embarrassedly dismiss the statement altogether like any normal boy their age would. But instead Baekhyun’s expression went warm, both his eyes and lips smiling sweetly as he brushed Yixing’s bangs away from his face.

“It’s the same now,” he replied, and Yixing felt like he was blushing to the tips of his ears.

“...Good,” Yixing squeaked back, unable to determine how he should feel. He didn’t expect such a calm reaction from Baekhyun, he thought they were too old to be so outwardly affectionate like that. Baekhyun must have noticed how flustered Yixing had gotten, because he was giggling again.

“You should have just told me you missed me,” he mused. “I suppose you are someone who avoids telling me when things bother you... but you’re always so mature and level-headed, I didn’t even think you cared that I was always gone.”

“Of course I did. We always do everything together,” Yixing sighed. “It just felt like a childish thing to admit.”

“It’s not. I always wish you’re around, too.” Baekhyun suddenly yanked up Yixing’s blanket, sliding underneath so they were sharing it. Yixing almost scooted away, feeling his eyes widen.

“Baekhyun!” he whined, “we don’t do that, anymore!”

“Why not? I’m tired, let me in,” Baekhyun complained, shoving a cold hand onto Yixing’s neck to make him yelp. “You’re not the only one who’s had a hard day.”

“Then sleep in your own bed,” Yixing mumbled, but Baekhyun was already closing his eyes with a smile on his lips.

“It’s warmer, this way.”

Yixing could only shut his own eyes, avoiding looking at Baekhyun’s face any longer than he had to. His cheeks felt like they were on fire, along with the rest of his body as he thought about how close he and Baekhyun were right now. Just like the day they wrestled in the fields. He almost felt embarrassed, wondering if Baekhyun could hear his racing heart.

“I saw you getting off the boat back there, and I was so unbelievably mad at Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said absentmindedly, playfully twirling strands of Yixing’s messy, dark hair around his index finger. Yixing winced.

“You really need to calm down before you go off at someone,” he said guiltily as he thought of poor Chanyeol, who often was at the wrong place at the wrong time, “if you just waited a little, you would’ve known that I’m the one who made him take me.”

“It’s not just that, though. I saw the way you were clinging to him for dear life, before getting out,” Baekhyun replied with a small laugh. “Is it weird to say I was...jealous?”

Yixing tensed up, the strange, uncomfortable heat that only Baekhyun could cause returning again, flooding into him and making him wonder if Baekhyun could feel it coming off of him.

“...Yeah, that’s weird,” he finally replied, and Baekhyun promptly snickered.

“Anyway... Just tell me if something’s bothering you, okay? We’re in everything together, aren’t we?”

Yixing nodded, purposefully not turning around so Baekhyun couldn’t see his crestfallen expression. He couldn’t tell Baekhyun the other reason why he had been upset and pent up, lately—his confusion over how strange he felt when it came to his friend. But from this point onward, as he listened to Baekhyun softly keep up their conversation in a voice that was getting sleepier by the second, things suddenly started to become a little clearer.

Clutching at his chest, that felt tighter than ever, it was now that Yixing was hit, for the first time, with a theory that downright terrified him.

It was possible that he was in love with Baekhyun.

∬∮〟〃〃

“You should sing at the night festival,” Yixing suggested one day, and Baekhyun’s eyes went wide.

“Huh? No way,” he snorted, before gearing his arm back and throwing a stone at the water. It skidded and hopped along the surface four times, and Baekhyun pumped his fist in the air victoriously.

“You’re really good, I always hear you humming. You should make up some words to that song you used to sing to me,” Yixing said with a smile, watching from afar. Baekhyun shook his head, looking back at his friend with a wily smile.

“That’s just something special between the two of us,” he dismissed, and Yixing secretly felt happy about the statement. “Besides, only the old geezers care about singing and performing at the festivals. I’m just there for the food—it’s the best we’ll eat in a while.”

“Noble words from a proud member of our village,” Yixing sighed, making Baekhyun laugh. “But I guess it does get pretty boring.”

“It’s for couples, let’s face it,” Baekhyun snickered. “Their one chance at a romantic night in this boring place, and for parents to marry off their kids.”

“I wonder how that is. Maybe it's nice,” Yixing said absentmindedly. Baekhyun continued skipping stones, not seeming to take the words seriously.

“Sorry, I guess we’re stuck with each other,” he chuckled, making Yixing roll his eyes. “Even Jongdae’s got someone, he won’t stop talking about Liyin.”

“Oh yeah,” Yixing groaned. “So it really is just you and me. He’s probably going to spend all night with her, he’s more like her servant.”

“Heh, guess so.” Baekhyun grinned, finally stepping out of the water and walking up to Yixing. “Taeyeon asked to spend the festival with me, actually. But I said no.”

Yixing felt unease prick through him, and he swallowed audibly.

“Why?” he asked, keeping his voice level. “She’s beautiful.”

“I guess. But if I was busy courting someone, you’d be all alone,” Baekhyun replied lightly, and Yixing hung his head with a sharp exhale. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but he was still grateful Baekhyun thought about him, in some sort of way.

“You’re silly. Any boy our age would love to be in your position,” he offered as an argument, but Baekhyun was already shrugging halfway through.

“Not interested in girls right now,” Baekhyun said unassumingly before changing the subject, and Yixing couldn’t argue. After all, he was in the same boat.

  
That night, everyone in the village was out of their homes to partake in a traditional celebration that went on every spring. Yixing and Baekhyun spent it together as expected, spending their money on grilled squid and cakes that had them feeling bloated towards the end of the night.

They found themselves too old to play the games they used to as children, opting to just talk amongst themselves after paying respect to the spirits of their ancestors and the gods that had protected them throughout the winter season. Looking at Baekhyun, Yixing couldn’t help but feel...happy. So overwhelmingly happy.

He didn’t need love. Not as long as he had Baekhyun. It was a comfortable thought that was simultaneously a bit bleak-sounding—it wasn’t how he was supposed to feel. Perhaps it was how he felt because to him, Baekhyun _was_ the embodiment of love.

Unable to play dumb forever, he had grown closer and closer to reaching the simple truth that what he felt for Baekhyun far transcended friendship. Everytime they walked side by side, he’d get the unexplainable urge to reach out and touch Baekhyun’s hand. Everytime their skin brushed against each other, whether by accident or by Baekhyun bothering him or playfully caressing his face, Yixing would feel sparks.

But admitting it, even to himself, was impossible. Baekhyun was a boy, almost a man, now. Yixing was taught to desire graceful women with delicate voices and pure demeanors—but nothing about a woman, none that he’d ever met, made Yixing feel anywhere near what he felt towards Baekhyun. Talk of crazy people, men who loved other men, women who loved other women, were laced with scorn his whole life. Accepting he could be one of those people would be accepting that he was a disgrace, unworthy of even platonic interactions with Baekhyun.

So he kept everything in, with no hope of ever being able to confide in Baekhyun about it. Yixing was often tight-lipped about things that bothered him, needing Baekhyun to force the words out of him in order for conflicts to be resolved. This was the first thing he’d ever truly kept from his best friend.

The night grew late as he and Baekhyun leaned against the wooden rails of a bridge that stood above a tiny creek, eating even more sweets and comparing the little illustrations the painters had brushed onto their cheeks and arms.

“You know, I take it back,” Baekhyun said, happily donning the silk robes Chanyeol’s wife had made for him. “These things can be pretty fun.”

“You just love dressing nicely and eating candy,” Yixing teased.

“So you’re not having fun?” Baekhyun asked challengingly, eyebrow quirked up mischievously. Yixing rolled his eyes.

“No, I am. I have good company, after all.”

“Aha. Well, so do I.” Baekhyun’s eyes became little crescents that somehow possessed so much soul, so much character as he smiled at Yixing. It made Yixing’s breath hitch, and he immediately turned away, subtly wiping his now sweaty palm against his robe.

They stayed there, chatting as children ran past them swinging their toys around and couples crossed whispering sweet nothings to each other. Yixing didn’t pay attention to anything going around them; right now, he just wanted to enjoy the little bubble that he and Baekhyun shared.

It had to end eventually though, and he was surprised that he didn’t see it coming. After a while, the two were interrupted by someone calling Baekhyun’s name. Both turning around, they saw a group of girls their age that they were acquainted with.

“Hey, you two,” a girl named Qian called with a playful quality in her voice that made Yixing raise an eyebrow. “Baekhyun, could you come here for a second?”

“What’re you bothering me for, this time?” Baekhyun scoffed, nonetheless going over to discuss whatever had to be discussed. Yixing kissed his teeth, opting to look down at the running stream and rap his knuckles against the faded red wood of the bridge. After Baekhyun and the girls had whispered about something for a minute, Yixing, to his chagrin, felt himself grow slightly uneasy. He had a feeling that one of the girls liked Baekhyun and was perhaps asking to be alone with him; perhaps this time, Baekhyun would accept.

But it was completely different. He soon felt a tap on his shoulder, turning and expecting it to be Baekhyun, who would explain how he had to leave. But it was Qian, and another one of their friends, Soojung.

“Yixing, you know Soojung. I think you two should get to know each other better,” Qian said loftily. Soojung just gave him a shy but sweet smile, and it took a bewildered Yixing five seconds for it to settle in.

“O-oh, I…” He found himself growing tongue-tied, and the other girls began to giggle at his timidness. Yixing pleadingly looked over at Baekhyun, who had been standing to the side with a sheepish smile.

“You sounded like you wanted some romance. Come on, Xing,” Baekhyun egged him on, and Yixing felt like he was about to crumble. “Don’t be shy.”

“But…” he began, but he was much too nice to protest with Soojung right there, who presumably liked him. Wedged between a rock and a hard place, he could only stand there like a fool, mouth hanging open.

“We’ll leave you two alone, now,” Qian and her friends sang, pulling Baekhyun along with them. Baekhyun gave one more lingering look towards Yixing, an unreadable look on his face.

“Have fun,” he said as a half smile finally spread on his lips, and Yixing was absolutely forlorn. But he was forced to paste on a smile of his own, and pretend like he was interested as Soojung began to talk to him with a flirtatiousness that he swore had never been present in any of their conversations before.

He didn’t know what to do. All he could think about throughout the bit of time he spent with her was of how easily Baekhyun handed him off. He knew that it was _supposed_ to be easy—but it still hurt him immeasurably to think that Baekhyun didn’t care if Yixing got romantically involved with anyone. After all, Yixing himself had secretly felt so relieved whenever Baekhyun turned down a girl.

He even felt bad for Soojung, who could probably feel the lack of chemistry and interest on his part. As the night grew late, they both said a casual, slightly awkward goodnight with nothing that could even pass as romantic gesture. Yixing had never felt so empty, before.

Slumping past the dimming lanterns and strings of colorful paper hung up around the village with the night now over, he felt a range of emotions from anger to heartbreak. After all of the ambiguity and stress Baekhyun unintentionally brought him over the past year, he was ready to just face the reality that he was feeling so distraught over such a nonsense reason.

Stopping when their house came into view, his expression grew embittered when he saw Baekhyun squatting in the front, playing with a toy he had won earlier in the night. Baekhyun soon looked up, flashing that little smile once again at the sight of Yixing.

“Look who's back. How was it?” he chirped. Yixing didn’t say anything, opting to turn in the opposite direction and storm off. Baekhyun’s eyes widened, and he scrambled to get up and gave chase. “Hey! What’s the big deal?”

“Nothing,” Yixing said curtly, obviously lying. Baekhyun scratched his head, trailing behind his friend and giving him a playful little push on his back.

“You kept moping about how it must be nice to have someone on a night like this, so when Qian told me Soojung liked you, I agreed to help out.” His eyebrows curled with worry when Yixing kept walking. “Are you mad? Did it not go well?”

“What do you think,” Yixing sighed, still not looking back. They were near the cove now, and Yixing made his way down the cliff with Baekhyun still following.

He wished Baekhyun would just go home—there was no real reason for Yixing to be upset, but the reality was that he _was_. He was upset, but unable to tell Baekhyun why, yet too hurt to just pretend everything was okay.

“It’s not my fault it went bad!” Baekhyun hollered, pouting when Yixing finally stopped to sit down on the rocks. “C’mon, do you not like her?”

“I don’t,” Yixing answered straight, and Baekhyun exhaled.

“Ah. I’m sorry, then.” He took a seat next to Yixing, now looking a bit guilty. “Are you sure? Soojung’s really pretty, and—”

“I already said I don’t like her,” Yixing argued, and Baekhyun pursed his lips.

“Oh.” He looked out to the sea, unsure of what to say. Reaching down and tracing circles onto the sand with his pinky, he seemed to be carefully selecting his words. “Do you like someone else? Otherwise I feel like you wouldn’t be this upset.”

Yixing made the mistake of staying silent for too long, because Baekhyun’s eyes were now wide and he began to shake Yixing by the shoulders. “Wait, you do!? Who, who?”

“Stop,” Yixing snapped, and Baekhyun, for once not reading the mood correctly, began to laugh.

“Is it...Taeyeon? That’s why you got all quiet earlier?” Baekhyun guessed, and Yixing felt his heart jump. Baekhyun _noticed_ ; who knows how many other times he caught onto Yixing’s strange behavior.

“No,” he managed to get out, and Baekhyun poked out his lower lip.

“I thought we shared everything with each other! But now I know you’ve got a big secret,” Baekhyun said teasingly. Yixing just stared hard at the horizon, the moon reflected in the water. A sight that usually calmed him, but now, it seemed to be having the opposite effect.

“You want me to share everything?” Yixing finally said to shut Baekhyun up, the pain in his heart clouding his judgement. “Why? I barely know anything about you. You just showed up from the sea one night, without a name or a past, intruding on my life and you’re saying I can’t have a secret?”

“What—” Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrowed at Yixing’s defensiveness, unsure of how to respond. “Gosh, alright, then. Why are you so upset at _me_? I didn’t mean for it to go badly, or for you to screw it up, I thought I was just doing you a favor.”

“I don’t need your favors,” Yixing protested, feeling himself tense up. He never spoke like this, but all of the anger and frustration had built up and now that it was coming out, he couldn’t stop. “What do you know about these kinds of things? You turn down the most sought-after girl in our village. You’d rather just sit on the beach, you almost _drowned_ here in your sleep. Do you think I want the help of someone as weird as you with something like romance _?”_

“At least I can _stand_ the sea,” Baekhyun retorted, now becoming riled up as well. “You act like I’m crazy when you burst out crying just thinking about the ocean. You used to even cry in our room because you had nightmares of it! And who always helped you through it, when you kept sobbing for your mom? Me, the supposedly _weird_ one!”

This struck a raw nerve with Yixing, and he felt his expression twitch.

“You want my secrets?” he asked, even when he knew he shouldn’t ever share what he was about to say out loud. “Do you ever wonder where your name is from?”

“Huh?” Baekhyun’s eyes went wide, having never even thought about it before. The two were basically shouting at each other now, like children throwing tantrums. “What do you mean? It’s just something you made up!”

“Not completely. When I thought of what to call you, I could only think of one thing,” Yixing said, crossing his arms. “Buoxian. That’s what you’re named after—a useless god that everyone hates!”

Baekhyun immediately looked hurt at this revelation, and Yixing realized just how insensitive it sounded. The irritation in his expression melted away, and he was left with a somber feeling as Baekhyun averted his gaze. Yixing wondered why he had gotten so childish, all of a sudden—Baekhyun was always hotheaded, but Yixing was supposed to be the one who cooled him down. Not someone who tried to hurt Baekhyun.

“That’s...mean, Yixing,” Baekhyun murmured, and Yixing felt his heart break. “Why… Why would you name me after Buoxian? Is that what you think of when you see me?”

“N-no, Baekhyun,” Yixing whispered in a now tiny voice, shaking his head. “I’m...sorry.”

“Is it true?” Baekhyun then asked, and Yixing was now remembering the giant tears Baekhyun had shed when he had seen the remains of Buoxian’s shrine.

“...It is,” Yixing admitted, before touching Baekhyun’s arm. “But it’s not because of... _that_. It’s because all I knew about you, at the time, was that you loved the sea. So much, that you almost felt like a part of it, and it just came to me. The sea was all I had to associate you with; it’s where we met, where we became friends. That’s why.”

“Still,” Baekhyun said with a hoarse laugh, finally looking up at Yixing. “It’s an awful thing to be named for.”

“But I’ve never seen _you_ as Buoxian,” Yixing insisted. “You’re you, Baekhyun. Not that tragedy. You’re what got me to be happy again, after it happened.”

He rubbed the back of Baekhyun’s neck, giving a sigh. “I’m sorry. I got so upset, and said all those things without thinking.”

“Me, too. I’m sorry I left and made you spend the night with some girl,” Baekhyun replied. The two shared a second of silence, before they both reached out to give each other a brief hug. Baekhyun rested his chin on Yixing’s shoulder, and the latter closed his eyes, deciding that the night hadn’t been completely ruined.

They spent much of the night staying like that at the beach, softly talking and rubbing out the harsh words that had been exchanged before. At one point Baekhyun drew Yixing into his side, resting his head in the crook of his neck.

“So will you ever tell me who you like?” Baekhyun asked teasingly, his voice causing little vibrations against Yixing’s skin. Yixing remained silent, glad they had made up but not able to even smile when Baekhyun whined at him to stop ignoring him.

“I don’t know,” Yixing finally answered, closing his eyes and listening to the sea roll on with Baekhyun’s warmth encompassing him. “For now, I’d rather not.”

To his surprise, Baekhyun let it go. He appreciated it now more than ever that Baekhyun knew when to stop badgering. So they sat quietly, not touching the subject again, instead just focusing on each other in the moment, as they watched the waves.

∬∮〟〃〃

Minseok had gotten married in a peaceful autumn ceremony, and now lived with his beautiful bride in her parents’ house. It was bittersweet for both Yixing and Baekhyun, but they were at least grateful to have each other in their little hut.

It also meant that they no longer had to sleep in the same room. That was another pang of emptiness Yixing felt, watching Baekhyun move his bedding into the space Minseok used to be. But they weren’t children, he had to constantly tell himself, and Baekhyun hadn’t had a sleepwalking incident since that first night. There would be no excuse for Yixing to still want to sleep next to him.

  
But perhaps Baekhyun had been feeling lonely with the change as well. One night, after they had said their goodnights and Yixing had put out the candles, Baekhyun suddenly poked his head back into his room with a slightly mischievous look on his face.

“Hey,” Baekhyun whispered, being mindful that it was late and the whole village was probably asleep at this hour. “Everyone’s inside now, yeah?”

“Yes, it’s late,” Yixing replied tiredly, already half-asleep. He had been tucking himself into the bedspread until Baekhyun had barged in. “Why?”

“Let’s go to the cove,” Baekhyun proposed, and Yixing raised his eyebrows.

“The cove? Now?” he asked, but Baekhyun was already pulling him up by the arm, making him groan. He loved spending any second he could with Baekhyun, but it had been a tiring day and he had finally gotten to lay down. “Baek.”

“I feel like it. Come on, we haven’t been in a few days,” Baekhyun urged, as if a few days was much too long to be away from the ocean. For him it was, Yixing knew. “You’re already up, anyway.”

“Thanks to you.” Nonetheless Yixing gave in with a sigh, half out of exasperation, half out of endearment, before smiling in resignation. “Fine.”

They crept to the beach quietly, stifling their giggles so they wouldn’t let anyone know that they were out. When they reached the cove, they sat in the spot they always did at the bottom of the cliff. Close enough to put their feet in the sand and watch the sea, far enough for Yixing to feel at ease.

Baekhyun eventually leaned his head on Yixing’s shoulder, and the latter stiffened up. Baekhyun always liked to get overly familiar, but that was usually just inside their own home, where nobody would look at them weirdly or make fun. Even if nobody was here now, Yixing felt tense since they were technically in public. Aside from the fact that, with Yixing being someone who harbored feelings for Baekhyun, these moments always drove him crazy outside of Baekhyun’s knowledge.

But with Baekhyun’s heat next to his own, he found himself gradually loosening up, even enjoying the feeling of being so close to his friend by the open sea.

“You know,” Baekhyun said, looking up at Yixing. Their faces were inches away, and Yixing appreciated that it would be too dark to see his reddening cheeks. “This has always been our secret rendezvous spot at night, Xing.”

“You’re right,” Yixing said in realization, remembering all the times they shared here as children. He thought about it, how far they had come. Some things had changed, some hadn’t. Everything contributed to how strongly Yixing felt for Baekhyun, now. “Although, it doesn’t really have to be secret now that we’re older.”

“Still, some of the elders still scold us if we’re out too late,” Baekhyun replied, and Yixing had to admit he was right.

“Some things just don’t change,” he relented. Pausing for a bit as he looked out at the open sea, he began to talk without thinking. “I thought you’d always be a mystery, Baekhyun, the second I found you washed up here. But now, I think you’re the one I know the best, out of everyone in the village. And you’re the one who knows me the best.”

The words had flowed out without any sense of origin, and Yixing felt himself panic. But luckily, Baekhyun didn’t mind at all.

“Good,” Baekhyun replied plainly, making Yixing crack a small smile. “That’s how it should be.”

He looked up at Yixing, his eyes were big, dark pools that Yixing could get lost in. “In a way, you’re the first thing I’ve ever known, you know.”

“...Oh, you mean—” Yixing nodded slowly. Baekhyun didn’t remember anything before the night they had met; the fact of the matter made him a bit sentimental. “I still wonder where you came from, Baekhyun. Do you really not ever want to find it, one day?”

Baekhyun didn’t reply right away, sitting back up and staring at the horizon. It had gone quiet between them, and Yixing wondered if the other was just thinking really hard, trying to remember something. But instead, Baekhyun clicked his tongue.

“I just want to stay with you,” he finally answered, squeezing onto Yixing’s arm. The sentiment took Yixing aback, but despite the fact that he was smiling again, he shook his head.

“You need to be careful about the things you say and do around me,” he advised. “Now that we’re older, you should save some of that for a girl.”

“Come on, you’re the one person in the village who wasn’t badgering me about that. Don’t start now,” Baekhyun complained, making Yixing chuckle. “Besides, you’re one to talk. You always say you only have time and energy for me, now.”

“But I’m not the one who insists on sleeping with you, or touching you every chance I get,” Yixing quipped back, and Baekhyun let out a defeated groan. “What if people start to get the wrong idea?”

“Let them. I thought you understood me, Yixing,” Baekhyun said with a little whine in his voice. These sorts of conversations were always teasing and playful, yet right now, there was a certain look in Baekhyun’s eyes that almost looked longing. Like they held some sort of unspoken desire, and Yixing could only stare in wonderment. But there was no way.

“Do I embarrass you?” Baekhyun then continued, making Yixing’s eyes widen.

“No, of course not. It’s just, we’re reaching that age,” Yixing finally responded, averting his gaze. “I just thought I’d be a bit realistic with you. Everyone’s going to expect us to marry, soon.”

“To each other?” Baekhyun prattled, and Yixing felt his cheeks flare up.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he said tightly, and Baekhyun burst out laughing. “Nevermind, you must still be five, playing with my words like that.”

“Come on, lighten up,” Baekhyun teased, bending over to trace little pictures into the sand. “You can’t expect me to marry, anytime soon. I’ve never even kissed anyone, before.”

“You haven’t?” Yixing raised an eyebrow when Baekhyun nodded. “You’ve been on little outings with girls, I thought at least, maybe…”

“Nope.” Baekhyun didn’t seem reserved or embarrassed about this information, perhaps because he was with Yixing. “I’ve never wanted to, with those girls. But sometimes, I do wonder what it’s like.”

“Uh-huh...me too, I guess.” Yixing coughed a little, dragging his feet through the sand aimlessly. “You know. Since I haven’t, either.”

“Yeah?” Baekhyun tilted his head, and for some reason Yixing couldn’t discern, he was grinning. “Look at us, two 18 year-olds. We’re both late bloomers, I guess.”

“What are you smirking like that, for?” Yixing said with a small whine in his voice, giving Baekhyun a playful push. Baekhyun only smiled wider, making a shaky little laugh come out of Yixing’s mouth beyond his control. He pursed his lips, wondering why he had suddenly gotten nervous, and Baekhyun’s wily expression wasn’t helping. “What!”

“What if we… No, no,” Baekhyun interrupted himself, rubbing his nose and averting his gaze. He was stifling a laugh, and Yixing furrowed his brows.

“Just say it,” he complained, and Baekhyun tossed his head back with an awkward laugh that he finally let out.

“I don’t think I’ll be getting a chance anytime soon, and I have a feeling you’re in the same boat… So, would it be crazy if we…” A tiny look of mischief flickered in Baekhyun’s eyes, and Yixing couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “gave each other one?”

“B-Baek—” Yixing stammered, and Baekhyun waved his hands around in defense.

“I know, I know, it’s ‘ _wrong’_ ,” he said quickly, and Yixing wondered how Baekhyun didn’t seem even a tad bit embarrassed to be proposing this, “but it doesn’t have to mean anything. I’ve seen Chanyeol drunkenly kiss his male friends before, and people just laugh. This can just be, I dunno, one friend helping out another friend.”

If Yixing hadn’t had romantic feelings for Baekhyun bottled up inside of him, if he only saw Baekhyun purely as a friend and nothing else like he should have, perhaps he would have immediately refused, even be disgusted by the idea. But the reality was that he _did_ have feelings for Baekhyun, he _had_ imagined what it would be like kissing him, before. The desire was there. So instead of shutting Baekhyun down, he clammed up, throat running dry as he struggled to even think of a way to respond.

Baekhyun was still smiling, and gave a cute little shrug that had Yixing’s stomach doing flips. “It’s just an idea. Don’t cry about it.”

“I’m not,” Yixing protested at the teasing, averting his gaze and feeling his cheeks go pink. Hoping Baekhyun wouldn’t notice, he cast his eyes around, scanning the beach that was of course still empty. “...Out here?”

He immediately wanted to slap himself for not flat-out refusing, and expected Baekhyun to make fun of him for it. But to his surprise, Baekhyun didn’t say a word, only scooting closer nodding with the corners of his mouth upturned into a sweet, eager smile.

“It’d be as good of a time as any. Nobody’s around,” he announced, and Yixing felt like his heart was about to bust out of his chest with how fast it was beating. Licking his lips nervously and taking one last look around expecting anyone to intrude at any moment, he finally turned back towards Baekhyun. And flinched a little to see how Baekhyun’s face was already so close to his.

“I-I don’t know,” Yixing began to say, before his urges got the better of him. He looked at Baekhyun, things falling silent between the two of them with only the sound of the sea in front of them. “It’d...just be this once? For fun…? Then we’d forget about it?”

“Sure. Nobody has to find out.” Baekhyun was slowly getting closer and closer, and Yixing shrank away just enough to keep their lips apart as he got all of his uncertainties out.

“I...what if it’s disappointing?” he squeaked out, and Baekhyun laughed softly.

“Then we’ll know! That’s the point, Xing,” he chortled, and it was only sounding more and more convincing to Yixing. Completely enticed by the idea, Yixing looked back at his friend and felt his eyelids lower ever so slightly. “Are you scared?”

“N-no, I’ll do it,” Yixing murmured at the challenge, cheeks aflame. “Th...there’s no harm, anyway.”

Baekhyun’s smile remained, and he made a slow move to bridge the gap between their faces. Yixing squeezed his eyes shut, wrought with anticipation, trying not to pull away shyly when he finally felt Baekhyun’s warm lips against his own.

And when he finally melted into it, _oh_ , it was amazing. He let himself lean into Baekhyun as they shared a chaste little kiss. He was fully aware of the fact that Baekhyun placed a hand on his cheek as they grew accustomed to the sensation, and when they separated Yixing thought that was the end. Baekhyun would have a look of regret on his face, maybe wipe his mouth, and ask they never speak or even think of that again.

But to his surprise Baekhyun continued for just a bit more, pecking at his lips experimentally, moving his mouth in a way that languidly connected with Yixing’s, so perfectly. Yixing felt like it was about to be too much soon, despite how innocent it really was, his fingers curling in the sand as he tried to remain calm.

They broke away gently, Yixing immediately opening his eyes wide in fear that Baekhyun would look regretful or disgusted like he envisioned, but instead being greeted with the sight of Baekhyun gingerly touching his own lips, looking mystified.

“...Huh,” Baekhyun finally said after a prolonged moment of silence, and Yixing felt like his heart was lodged in his throat as he automatically assumed the worst. “I don’t suppose kissing a guy feels much different than a girl, right?”

“I...don’t see why,” Yixing mumbled back, trying to find his voice. Baekhyun’s cheeks were dusted pink, and he turned back to face forward towards the ocean, still touching his bottom lip in wonderment.

“Then...I guess I am missing out,” he said in a near whisper, and Yixing’s flusteredness reached a high as he put two and two together. Baekhyun had _enjoyed_ it, he realized. Whether it was much as Yixing himself did was unknown, and he guessed highly unlikely, but he still felt absolutely stunned. Not to mention breathless from the actual kiss, itself.

Part of him couldn’t believe any of this had happened, and the rest was just completely embarrassed at himself for savoring it, that much.

“I-I’m tired,” Yixing croaked, his voice cracking a bit in his jumpiness and making Baekhyun burst out laughing at him. “Baekhyun! It’s late, and I’m cold—”

“Okay, okay,” Baekhyun relented, standing up and hugging onto Yixing to keep him warm. “Good talk. Let’s get some sleep.”

Baekhyun was so clueless, Yixing thought to himself sourly the whole walk back. How anyone could ever expect him to sleep, after what they had just done, was beyond him—and the fact that they would go on the next day, pretending it had never happened and knowing it didn’t mean anything, made the ache in his heart all the more sleep-depriving.

∬∮〟〃〃

Like they had agreed, the intimate moment they shared that night was a one-time thing, and neither brought it up again. Yixing forced himself to believe he should be satisfied, and incredibly fortunate that he could ever do _that_ with Baekhyun to begin with. The more he affirmed with himself that it must have meant so much more to him than it did for Baekhyun, the more ashamed he grew, and the more he appreciated that Baekhyun never mentioned it again. Yixing would be content if Baekhyun had somehow forgotten about it.

During a week where Baekhyun fell sick, Yixing would finish his daily tasks and hurry home so he could tend to his friend. Today after making tea with bitter herbs that Baekhyun always hated and putting soup over the fire, Yixing quietly let himself into Baekhyun’s room to see that the latter was sleeping.

Without saying anything, he knelt by Baekhyun’s mat and gently brushed his bangs off of his forehead. Still a high fever, but better than it had been the previous day.

He soaked a towel in the bucket of water he had left by Baekhyun’s pillow, wringing it before folding it carefully and placing it on Baekhyun’s forehead. Baekhyun’s eyelids fluttered, before his brows tightened in a split second and he let out a small, pained groan.

“Shh,” Yixing cooed, stroking Baekhyun’s pale hair and gazing down at him with hooded eyes. “Are you awake?”

Baekhyun responded with a small _mm_ and Yixing smiled.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Better, I guess,” Baekhyun replied, but he didn’t really sound like it. “How was your day?”

“Same as always. Jongdae’s mom gave me a bunch of fruit to give you, eat it when you feel up to it.” Yixing was about to sit up to go check on the tea, when Baekhyun moaned a little and held up a hand to him Yixing to stop.

“Stay,” Baekhyun whined childishly, weakly kicking his legs a little underneath the blanket. Yixing cracked a smile, knowing Baekhyun must be restless and itching for company after being stuck in bed all week.

“I’m just going to get you some tea. Don’t worry.”

He did as he said, coming back with a cup filled with tea that Baekhyun refused to drink.

“I hate ginseng,” Baekhyun grumbled, able to tell what it was just from the scent, and Yixing sighed, wondering when he’d begin acting his age.

“You need to drink it so you get better fast,” he advised, but Baekhyun just stuck his nose in the air. Giving up, Yixing opted to kneel by Baekhyun’s side and continue to talk quietly with him.

“Lately,” Baekhyun began, looking up towards the ceiling. “I’ve been spacing out, once in a while. It’s like I’ll go into a trance without realizing it. It earned me a good scolding from Mr. Kim, I kept burning the eel the other day.”

“He told me today,” Yixing chuckled, leaning his cheek on his palm. “Are you sure it’s not just because cooking isn’t your strength?”

“It wasn’t just then, though. It happens all the time, when I’m out on the boats, when I’m at the market, or paying my respects. It’s like my mind is wandering on its own. Guess it’s just me.” Baekhyun gave a yawn, before shifting his arms around uncomfortably. “My clothes are sticking to me, I should change.”

“Okay,” Yixing replied, finding himself staring down at his lap as Baekhyun got up to put on a fresh set of clothes. He kept his gaze cast downwards hearing garments get tossed to the floor, even at the sound of Baekhyun scoffing a little.

“What’re you acting shy for, Yixing?” he asked, and Yixing felt himself blush. “We’re both boys, here. And you’ve seen me naked plenty of times.”

“Not that many,” YIxing replied, feigning ignorance. Baekhyun finished swapping out his clothes, hopping back into bed and shrugging.

“Well, I’ve seen you a lot,” he said teasingly, and Yixing felt his face go red.

“Why are we talking about this?” Yixing said with a small whine in his voice, and Baekhyun laughed.

“It’s so easy to push your buttons,” Baekhyun mused, settling back under his covers and closing his eyes. “I already feel much better, I should be fine tomorrow. Thank you for taking such good care of me. Have I ever told you how glad I am that you’re responsible for me?”

“I’ve heard,” Yixing hummed, tucking Baekhyun in and checking his fever again. “Do you need anything else?”

“Just more rest.” Baekhyun flashed Yixing a cheeky grin. “But I’ve been deprived of entertainment all day, I’m a little antsy. Could you sing for me?”

“No,” Yixing said flat-out, but the way Baekhyun pouted at him while looking so snug under his blankets tugged at his heartstrings, as much as he hated to admit it.

“Please? It’ll help me recover faster, that’s a complete promise,” Baekhyun said smugly. Yixing at last sighed, before, in a small voice that was unconfident at first, he began to hum the little melody Baekhyun used to sing all the time.

“You have a pretty voice, Xing,” Baekhyun cooed, and Yixing quickly grew embarrassed. “Don’t stop! It’s soothing me.”

Yixing heaved a deep sigh before reluctantly continuing as Baekhyun aimlessly traced little circles on his knee. He watched Baekhyun smile with his eyes closed, and it didn’t take long before the young man was fast asleep. It made Yixing huff through his nose, wondering why Baekhyun even asked for a song when he was already about to pass out any second. Even when he was sick, he always kept Yixing on his toes.

Going back to gently running his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, Yixing felt himself get lost in how peaceful he looked sleeping like this. His chest rose and rank ever so slowly, his hair a mess that Yixing was idly combing, his lips parted slightly.

  
Yixing’s life had remained void of any romance. He had noticed that a few girls had taken interest in him since the dull night he spent with Soojung—but the ones who approached him to tell him how they felt, he would politely refuse. And strangely enough, Baekhyun had been doing the same, despite the implication that he had quite enjoyed their experimental, meaningless kiss from so many nights ago; Yixing even overheard him turning someone down when he was walking home, once.

  
He had thought that what he did with Baekhyun on the beach that night was enough to get him to stop hoping for more, as if he had already gotten the best result possible. But it had done the opposite; more than ever, Yixing couldn’t stop thinking about and looking at Baekhyun in the way that he really shouldn’t be. Now he was _wishing_ that Baekhyun would find a girl he liked, just to force Yixing to stop dreaming.

But they both continued to keep to themselves, spending more time with each other than ever. Jongdae once made a passing comment that it was like they were saving themselves for each other. It was only a joke, it had to be—but Yixing still felt filled to the brim with shame, merely laughing along when Baekhyun jokingly told Jongdae that anyone would be lucky to have Yixing.

Now as he sat by Baekhyun’s bedside, Yixing found himself sighing, wishing for the millionth that he didn’t feel like this. He thought he had been a good person throughout his life—why did he have to be cursed into doing something so blatantly wrong?

Staring at Baekhyun’s lips, his mind began to go blank and he swallowed thickly as he remembered the sensations from that night.

“Baekhyun?” he whispered quietly, and when Baekhyun didn’t answer, Yixing’s expression went solemn. Slowly bending over and lowering himself until his face hovered above Baekhyun’s, he felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest. More, just a bit more, he told himself. He was close, so close to that amazing feeling of Baekhyun’s lips against his.

But right when his lips were about to brush against the other male’s, Baekhyun made a small hum in his sleep. It was like Yixing snapped out of it after that, sitting up and covering his mouth in horror of what he almost did. Again, without the excuse of curiosity, without how fun and lighthearted Baekhyun had made it the first time.

The first time was supposed to be enough, he thought to himself over and over again in agony and shame. It _was_ enough. Why didn’t Yixing feel that it was enough?

Blinking back tears, he decided that he had let this go too far. Standing up in a rush, he hurried out of the room, going where he could sob without Baekhyun waking up and hearing him.

∬∮〟〃〃

He didn’t mean for his glumness to show after that, but since Yixing had shouldered the burden of what he felt for Baekhyun for so long now, it was getting hard to pretend everything was fine. He stopped seeking Baekhyun out every chance he got throughout the day, trying to be more independent. They already lived together—that was enough, he told himself.

Treating Baekhyun differently was never in the picture; Yixing was only treating himself worse and worse each day. He hated himself for how he felt towards his friend, and subsequently began to torture himself with incessant thoughts every time he received so much as a smile from Baekhyun.

It came to a point where he wished Baekhyun would stop being so nice to him, which was something impossible considering the relationship they shared. He wished Baekhyun would fall in love, he wished Baekhyun would find a reason to leave the hut, he wished Baekhyun would do _anything_ to get Yixing to snap out of his outlandish fantasies that he could ever be right about how he felt.

But to both his overwhelming bliss and chagrin, Baekhyun never left his side.

“Ah, Yixing, you’ve grown up so well,” Ms. Qi, one of the village’s textile merchants, commented when Yixing walked in to look around. “How old are you, this year?”

“I turned 19 last October, Ma’am,” he answered politely, running his fingers against a smooth fabric dyed dark blue.

“Ah, then that means Baekhyun will be the same this month,” Ms. Qi observed, and Yixing gave a small nod.

“Yes, but you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at him,” he said with a small chuckle. “I was actually looking for a present for him.”

“What a thoughtful one you are,” the woman chuckled, opening a chest to see if she had anything special to show Yixing. “19, already. It feels like just yesterday you were all children. Now you’re almost at the age of taking a wife.”

“I suppose so,” Yixing said, noticeably more monotonously this time. Ms. Qi raised an eyebrow.

“Why so serious? It’s something to be excited for!” she exclaimed.

“I guess it’s just hard to imagine,” Yixing replied, the same words he always said whenever this topic came up. He sighed a little, before smiling apologetically. “I don’t think I brought enough money with me, today. I’ll come back tomorrow.”

  
He hung around his friends after that, but even that was starting to make him feel alienated. Jongdae and Sehun and the majority of boys he knew had girls they were courting, or at least had some sort of experience in that department. Whenever the subject of women was brought up, it was sort of assumed that Yixing could relate. But he just couldn’t, and was given a hard time for it—Baekhyun was popular enough with girls and was always generally upbeat, he faked it well enough to avoid too much teasing.

After downing a little bit of rice wine and making a face at the taste, Yixing opted to just listen as his friends talked and drank enthusiastically.

“To Baekhyun,” Sehun cheered, raising his porcelain cup with the others reciprocating. “Soon to be 19.”

“It’s not like it’s a special age,” Baekhyun shrugged, seeming to be laying off of the alcohol.

“You’re no fun,” Jongdae complained, pointing at Baekhyun and Yixing who were sitting together across the table. “You both are the same. When one of you doesn’t drink, you both don’t. When one of you goes home, the other does, too.”

“I’m telling you,” Sehun snickered, “they act like a married couple.”

Baekhyun just laughed along, and Yixing raised his lips to his wine dish that was now filled with water.

“Yixing, my cousin kept bothering me the other day about you. She thinks you’re quite a catch,” Jongin mentioned, and Yixing felt himself clam up a little.

“Sorry, but I’m just not interested,” he began to explain, but the others didn’t seem to buy this answer anymore.

“You’ve never liked a girl since I’ve known you,” Jongdae commented, quirking up an eyebrow. “You really never felt anything for _anyone?”_

“That’s not...necessarily…” Yixing trailed off, deciding it wasn’t even worth it. Baekhyun was the only one who wasn’t joining in on the badgering, as always, merely watching Yixing with a slightly uncertain smile.

“We heard you had a little date with Soojung, a long time ago,” Jongdae continued, snorting a little. “Qian said that apparently it was like talking to a rock.” This got them all to laugh. All but Baekhyun and Yixing.

“Maybe Yixing is just a late bloomer,” Jongin added nicely, although it still contained a small hint of doubt.

“We hope so,” Sehun replied, pouring more rice wine for them all. “Otherwise, I might start to suspect you’re a _homo_ or something.”

Yixing’s fists tightened in his lap, and even though he knew that what Sehun said wasn’t an accusation and had zero consideration put into it, he still felt humiliated. He hadn’t ever been planning on telling anyone about the confusion he had been going through, but even so it hurt to be reminded so clearly that even his friends would abandon him if they knew.

He couldn’t even blame them. He wondered what Baekhyun would say if he knew Yixing was in love with another boy; perhaps he would immediately know and fear that Yixing was in love with him. And then he’d cast Yixing out of his life. The whole village would.

“Hey,” he heard Baekhyun scolding, bring Yixing back up from his dark thoughts, but the others were already laughing. “Leave him alone—”

“No, that is funny,” Yixing cut in, tacking on a smile and forcing out an equally poisonous bout of laughter. “You guys are awful, even thinking of accusing me of something like that. I thought we were friends.”

Baekhyun closed his mouth, a perplexed expression on his face as he watched Yixing play along. He didn’t say anything further, and soon Yixing was standing up from his seat. “I’m gonna go home. Baekhyun, you can stay—otherwise these guys will get strange delusions, or something.”

“Let them,” Baekhyun replied with a shrug, getting up and ignoring the ooh-ing from the others. Yixing wasn’t sure whether to view Baekhyun’s free-spiritedness as a blessing or a curse. “I wasn’t having fun, anyway.”

  
The walk home was silent, and Yixing felt like there were stones tied to his ankles as he dragged himself down the road. Baekhyun didn’t have much to say either, which was unlike him. But in a way, Yixing appreciated it. He didn’t have the energy to talk to him, right now.

  
That night, Baekhyun poked his head into Yixing’s room to say goodnight. But after they exchanged words of “sleep well” and “see you in the morning,” and Yixing had put out his lamp, he looked up to see Baekhyun still lingering in the doorway.

“What?” he asked, motioning for Baekhyun to just come in. Baekhyun obeyed, walking in and sitting down cross-legged in front of Yixing.

“I was just wondering if you were okay,” he said sedately, hands linked together behind his back. Yixing exhaled through his nose, really wishing he didn’t have to talk about what happened before. Especially not with Baekhyun.

“It’s just fun and games, Baek,” he replied nonchalantly, looking out the window. “I couldn’t care less.”

“It’s not just that,” Baekhyun said firmly, taking Yixing by surprise. “There’s something else. You just seem...off, nowadays.” Yixing’s eyes widened a little as Baekhyun made this claim, returning Baekhyun’s sullen expression.

“You sigh a lot,” Baekhyun began to explain when Yixing didn’t say anything, “when you think I’m not paying attention. You always look down, and you sound...gloomy. I don’t like it. If that’s just how your personality was, it’d be fine—but I know it’s not. I want the real Yixing back.”

Yixing wondered how Baekhyun could read him so well. He didn’t want him to; not when he was hiding the truth.

“I’m fine. I have nothing to complain about, really,” he fibbed, even when he knew Baekhyun wasn’t going to let him off that easily. He was half right; Baekhyun didn’t look convinced, but to Yixing’s surprise, he seemed to drop the subject at his request.

“Alright. If you say so,” Baekhyun had replied, before suddenly laying down on one side of Yixing’s mat.

“What are you doing?” Yixing asked, before Baekhyun waved a hand in dismissal. “I want to be alone tonight, Baek—”

“I’m cold, YIxing. Can I sleep here, tonight?” It was more of a statement than a request, as he was already getting comfortable. Before Yixing could tell him to sleep in his own room, Baekhyun grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him down to lay down beside him. He gave a cheeky grin. “You can’t say no.”

Yixing would have protested, but Baekhyun’s arms were already snaking around him and he felt like someone was squeezing his heart inside his chest. He realized this was Baekhyun’s way of comforting him, when Yixing refused to talk. Baekhyun may be rowdy and a handful, but he still was perceptive, nurturing towards Yixing in his own way.

It felt bittersweet, right now.

“I hate this mentality we’re taught to have,” Baekhyun whispered after a while. Yixing then felt Baekhyun scooting forward until he was nearly pressed against Yixing’s back. It made Yixing tense up, wishing Baekhyun could give him a break, for once.

“What...do you mean?” Yixing asked, and almost shivered when Baekhyun pressed his forehead against the nape of his neck.

“You know what I’m talking about. People think a man can’t cry, or talk about being sad, because it shows weakness. Even you think that way. So you tell me nothing’s wrong, even when you're bad at pretending.”

Baekhyun really hadn’t let things go, or believed Yixing at all. Yixing closed his eyes, unable to even think of how he could respond. No matter what people said, Baekhyun really was on a whole other level of thinking.

“But if you don’t want to talk about it, fine. It’s none of my business,” Baekhyun then relented, his voice soft and molliying as it hummed against Yixing’s skin. “Just know I’m here. Always. Okay?”

Yixing felt himself growing choked up, not knowing how to feel. Part of him was full of admiration, feeling a sort of amazement with how Baekhyun was able to comfort him. But at the same time, it was contradictory; Baekhyun, being as wonderful as he was, was the reason why Yixing had been so full of frustration in the first place.

After a while of deliberating, he decided that he had to appreciate what he had. Baekhyun was someone he cared about so much; he was lucky to have him always by his side, and to know that Baekhyun cared so much about him in turn, even if his affections didn’t match what Yixing felt for him. Right now, this was the best he could ask for.

And Baekhyun wanted the old YIxing back. Yixing decided he wanted him back, too.

He finally smiled, and when he came to be at peace with these thoughts, he got the best sleep he had gotten in a long time with Baekhyun behind him. And he woke up smiling once more, seeing Baekhyun still dozing off with his arms and legs splayed everywhere with his tummy uncovered. Fixing his posture and tucking him back in under the blanket, Yixing felt refreshed.

He stopped hating himself for loving Baekhyun after that, and he stopped letting all of the expectations around him weigh him down. Instead he went about like he had been before all of the confusing feelings developed within him, enjoying his time with his most precious friend, and letting Baekhyun continue to add that needed spark to his life.

What nobody knew couldn’t hurt him, he thought.

∬∮〟〃〃

Another year had passed, and the pair had finally turned 20, officially exiting boyhood. Over the past year Yixing finally began to live optimistically again, learning not to quantify his worth based on the expectations he failed to meet and the rules nobody knew he was breaking. He worked his share, continued being known as one of the kindest young men in the village, both laughed and cried with Baekhyun throughout their endeavors. That was enough.

  
But as Yixing wiped some of the beads of sweat from his forehead that had formed under the sweltering summer sun, in a disgruntled mood, he supposed that it would be a while before he could laugh at what Baekhyun had done _this_ time.

  
“I’m sorry again about this,” he apologized as he carefully swept up jagged fragments that laid shattered on the ground. “I just don’t know where his head is, sometimes.”

“My father absolutely blew up, earlier,” Joohyun sighed, fanning herself with a paper fan as she watched Yixing pick up the pieces of a dozen clay and porcelain jars. “I thought we were too old this, Yixing. What, did he forget how to look where he’s going?”

It was supposed to be a morning like any other, until Yixing suddenly heard Joohyun furiously screaming at him to come clean up a disastrous mess Baekhyun had caused. The front of Joohyun’s parents’ shop had been littered with pieces of pottery that had tumbled out of the cart Baekhyun had apparently ran into on his way to the beach. It was surprising, even for Yixing—Baekhyun had been a troublemaker as a kid, but that was a long time ago. And it hadn’t ever been this bad.

“He’s just been absent minded, lately,” Yixing explained, hissing a little to himself when he cut his finger on a sharp piece. Scrunching his hand on the fabric of his pants to stop the bleeding, he didn’t say anything about it, finishing his cleaning and giving Joohyun a stack of copper coins with a pang of remorse. “It’s not much, but it’s all I can afford to give, right now—please give this to your father as my apology. I’ll send Baekhyun over to be properly scolded, later.”

“Deal.” Joohyun counted out the coins and nodded, before shooing Yixing away with a roll of her eyes. “Alright, go do whatever it was you had to do. I don’t want to look at you two for a while.”

Yixing thanked her and apologized once more, before heading off to resume his own work, before he had been forced to literally clean up after Baekhyun. A bit exasperated throughout the day, he finished his tasks early and immediately began to head home to give Baekhyun an earful, for whenever he got home from the boats.

  
But it turned out that Yixing wouldn’t have to wait, as he spotted none other than Baekhyun as he rounded the cliff’s edge, skipping stones into the ocean’s shore. Fuming a bit, Yixing marched down onto the sand and waited for Baekhyun to turn around, arms crossed.

“Ahem,” he cleared his throat not so subtly, finally getting Baekhyun’s attention.

“Oh, Yixing?” Baekhyun turned, giving a small smile as he kept a stone in grip. “You’re done early, too?”

“No thanks to you,” Yixing huffed, pointing in the direction of the village. “I had to clean up all of Mr. Bae’s stuff that you broke, this morning. Joohyun gave me an earful, like I was the one who did it. Did you even stop by to apologize?”

“Joohyun’s old man? Did I really do that?” Baekhyun questioned, looking utterly confused. Yixing raised an eyebrow, wondering if he was being messed with, until Baekhyun failed to break out into his normal, teasing cackle.

“You didn’t even know? You crashed into their cart, and made everything fall out,” Yixing reminded his friend, feeling himself almost smile at how ridiculous it was. “Baek, you’re something else. Just go say sorry later, okay?”

“Yeah...I will.” Baekhyun turned away, skipping another stone with just a bit more force than was probably needed. “Sorry. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me, nowadays.”

“Are you getting enough sleep?” Yixing asked, now growing worried. Baekhyun gave a sigh, finally looking back at Yixing with his normal smile.

“Yes, I am. I don’t know what it is.” He dusted off his hands and stepped away from the shore, his pendant glimmering a little in the light of the disappearing sun. “I didn't mean to cause trouble. You look tired; let’s sit.”

It was another nightfall the two spent together in solitude, looking at the ocean and eating the fruit Yixing had brought back from the orchard. At some point Baekhyun caught sight of Yixing’s index finger, eyes widening as he dropped the pear he had been eating.

“Yixing, are you bleeding?” he asked sternly, taking Yixing’s hand.

“O-oh, I forgot,” Yixing mumbled, eyes widening when Baekhyun put his lips around the fingertip. “Baekhyun, it’s okay! It happened a while ago, it’s not bleeding anymore.”

Baekhyun popped his mouth off, looking in bewilderment at the blood he hadn’t realized was already dried. “When did you do this?”

“When I was cleaning up the porcelain.” Yixing realized a little too late that he shouldn’t have said that, pursing his lips when guilt overtook Baekhyun’s expression once more. “Baekhyun, don’t worry…”

“I’m sorry," Baekhyun could only repeat, and Yixing gave a sigh.

“Don’t be.”

 

It took a while longer for Yixing to get Baekhyun out of his sunken mood, and it took a lot of telling jokes and doing impressions for him to finally smile again. It tired Yixing out, but with Baekhyun at last being back in good spirits, he could at least relax after the rough day he had. He cradled his knees, feeling his lids go heavy for a second, when Baekhyun broke the silence again with his talkativeness. In a way that Yixing didn’t see coming.

“I’ve been thinking, about that time we kissed,” Baekhyun suddenly said out of the blue, making Yixing jolt upright in surprise. Neither of them had never once brought that up after it had been said and done, and Yixing didn’t particularly want to.

“I thought that basically never happened,” he sputtered, and Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

“Sorry, sorry. But I just think about it, from time to time,” he admitted, and Yixing felt himself already starting to grow flustered. “I liked it, the feeling of kissing someone. I suddenly understood what our friends were alway bragging about.”

“...Yeah, I guess.” Yixing scratched his head, deciding that Baekhyun wasn’t wrong. But still, Yixing couldn’t admit it wasn’t just the feeling of kissing alone he personally had enjoyed so much, rather than the fact that it was Baekhyun he was kissing. He just had to play along. “Are you feeling lonely, now? Jealous of our friends that are settling down?”

“That’s the thing—I’m really not.” Baekhyun sighed a little, putting an arm around Yixing. “You just keep me all too satisfied with my loveless life, Yixing.”

“Are you thanking me, or blaming me?” Yixing scoffed, nonetheless feeling his heart lift at the way Baekhyun had said that. “But that...what we did is still a secret, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Baekhyun droned, and Yixing wondered how he could be so nonchalant with it, no matter how close they were. Acting as if he wouldn’t care if people knew. “Jongdae told me the other day that he’s going to ask Liyin to marry him, soon. Lucky him, he has someone he can kiss whenever he wants. In fact he’ll be able to do all _sorts_ of stuff if she says yes.” Yixing laughed a little, elbowing Baekhyun to get him to stop. “It’s strange, isn’t it.”

“Yeah. I knew him since we were babies,” Yixing replied, giving a sullen smile at how much time flew by. “We’ve had each other for as long as I can remember. We’ve confided in each other about nearly everything.”

He paused, looking at Baekhyun. “He’s been a little busier lately, now that he has her. But he’ll be a good husband...he’s helped me a lot, growing up.”

“Yeah?” Baekhyun asked, smiling. “I’ve known him for as long as I can remember too, but I've hardly been exposed to anything other than his funny side. Can't imagine him as a husband.”

“I see where you’re coming from,” Yixing relented. “But even if he jokes around all the time, he’s always been dependable.” He looked up towards the reddening sky, exhaling. “Like, back when the storm happened, and I lost my parents, he spent most of his time comforting me and giving me a shoulder to cry on. Even though he lost his father, too.”

“Right.” Baekhyun’s tone suddenly went dim, and he stared out at the water. “The storm. Buoxian’s storm.”

Yixing looked back at his friend, wondering what he was thinking. He had never forgotten the tears Baekhyun had shed, and he had noticed throughout the years that any time the subject of Buoxian’s betrayal came up, Baekhyun would get abnormally morose.

At first Yixing had been suspicious that Baekhyun had been hiding something, but no matter what, Baekhyun insisted that he didn’t know why he seemed to be saddled with these feelings. It was like his body reacted to the destroyed images, the scorn, the hatred, independently from his mind. Yixing couldn’t understand—but at any rate, Baekhyun didn’t seem to understand it either.

Instead of asking yet again why Baekhyun was looking glum, Yixing chose a different approach.

“Did something else happen, today?” he asked, patting Baekhyun’s shoulder. “You look bothered.” He expected Baekhyun to shake his head and insist that he just looked that way, but to his surprise, the other gave a small shrug.

“When I was out on the boats,” he began, pointing out in the direction of a nearby island. “We were checking on the fish farm. But all of a sudden, it’s like...everything went blank. Somehow, I just stopped whatever I was doing, and fell back into the water. And I accidentally let a whole net of fish escape.”

He tipped his head back, looking regretful. “I know I’ve been having those moments lately, but I’ve never felt more useless.”

“Don’t feel that way, Baek,” Yixing urged, wondering why Baekhyun had been so absent-minded, these days. As if the pottery wasn’t enough; this really wasn’t like him. “I just don’t know why this is happening to you.”

“I know. It’s weird, it’s almost like...I just stop paying attention to what’s happening, and my body is telling me that there’s something more important that I should be doing. But I just don’t know what.” Baekhyun let out a groan, trying to shake himself out of his sulking demeanor. “I’m getting tired of it.”

“Did you get yelled at?” Yixing asked sympathetically. Baekhyun gave a sheepish smile.

“Oh, yeah. Everyone was pretty upset once they pulled me out, and told me to just go back.”

“So that’s why you were out here so early,” Yixing said in realization, wondering if Baekhyun had originally planned to just keep never tell him this. “I’m sorry. They shouldn’t have done that, there’s no point in making you feel bad.”

“They probably thought I did it to be funny,” Baekhyun said grimly, and Yixing couldn't stop the frown that was overtaking his face. “You know, sometimes…” Baekhyun hesitated, and Yixing cocked up an eyebrow. “Maybe I shouldn’t say this.”

“It’s too late. Spit it out,” Yixing replied, and Baekhyun let out a sigh.

“I feel...odd, sometimes. Spending time with you is great, it’s perfect—but everywhere else, I almost...feel like I don’t belong.” Baekhyun shook his head. “That sounds like nonsense, I know. But it’s how I feel.”

“Huh? But, Baekhyun,” Yixing protested, shocked to hear this information. “You’re one of the most liked in the village. Sure you had a bad day today, but everyone does…”

“I’m glad you think so,” Baekhyun softly chuckled. “But I just can’t shake this weird feeling. I feel almost bad, for being here. I guess that’s just because I never really truly belonged here in the first place.”

“But you do.” Yixing furrowed his brows, thinking that this didn’t sound like Baekhyun at all. “Just because you may not have been born here, doesn’t mean you aren’t one of us.”

“You don’t understand,” Baekhyun sighed, running a hand through his light-colored hair, looking like he was really keeping something in. “As if I haven’t told you enough things to make you think I’m crazy, but...sometimes, Yixing, I _hear_ things.”

“What?” Yixing cocked his head to the side, not getting it at all. “What kind of things?”

“I can’t even identify them. Sometimes it’s voices, saying words I can’t make out...sometimes it’s like a song of waves and storms, it’s part of the reason why I can’t seem to focus on anything anymore.” Baekhyun’s expression had gone from frustration to worry, as he looked at Yixing, gauging his reaction.

It was hard for Yixing to think of a response, but his expression never turned any less understanding, to Baekhyun’s surprise. After mulling over it a bit, Yixing finally opened his mouth to speak.

“All I can think of,” he began, rubbing the fabric of his shirt between his thumb and index finger, “is that they could be memories, Baekhyun. Memories you’ve lost, that have been buried so deep that they’re only starting to come up, now.”

Baekhyun’s eyes went wide at the words, but he didn’t look completely unconvinced. He clicked his tongue, standing up all of a sudden and looking down at Yixing with a crooked smile. “Maybe. Yixing...Thank you, for not reacting badly, or anything.”

That must have been enough serious talk for a day for Baekhyun, as he abruptly stood up and yawned loudly. “It’s weird, I know. It could be what you said, I guess—but I think I must be going through a small rut, is all. It’ll pass.”

“Baek—”

“Yixing, why don’t I find you a seashell? I haven’t done that in a while—and it’s that season, right, for clams to pop up!” Baekhyun stretched out his arms before running off to the shore, leaving Yixing by the seaweed-covered rocks. Yixing sighed, thinking that this was all too familiar: Baekhyun dodging the subject, like when they were kids, scurrying off to the water to end a conversation.

But as always he just let Baekhyun tire himself out, finding conches and razor clams and cockle shells before the two headed back to the village. Baekhyun gazed out at the murky horizon of the sea the whole walk back, and Yixing didn’t try to distract him.

The two arrived home and Yixing watched as Baekhyun settled into the set of bedding that had been moved back into his bedroom. He had once again grown used to this, as Baekhyun had basically moved back in; he claimed that he got lonely sleeping on his own. Yixing didn’t know what had gotten into him, but decided that as long as nobody else knew, they couldn’t be judged. And he enjoyed having Baekhyun next to him, again.

  
But for the first time in a while, neither of the two seemed to be able to sleep despite how late they had stayed out. They remained in silence, with Yixing constantly wondering what was on Baekhyun’s mind.

When Yixing finally looked over his shoulder an hour later, he raised his eyebrows to see Baekhyun had gotten up without him realizing.

Baekhyun was now by the window, the paper shutters pulled aside and the young man gazing out into the night, listening to the faint sounds of the ocean. Yixing couldn’t put his finger on why it was such a somber image, opting to just watch Baekhyun’s unmoving outline as he pretended to be asleep. He could practically hear Baekhyun's song as he took in the sight, wondering if it had always sounded that sad.

∬∮〟〃〃

“Yixing,” a voice called, making Yixing look up questioningly. He had been at the market, looking at today’s catch when Jongdae had come up from behind. “Where’s Baekhyun?”

“Baekhyun? I’m not sure,” Yixing replied, tilting his head. “I thought he’d be with you, if anything.”

“Well, he was _supposed_ to be,” Jongdae shrugged, looking a little perplexed. “He had to help me at the paddy—guess who had to do twice the work since he didn’t show up.” Yixing chuckled a little as Jongdae worked out the sore muscles of his upper arm.

“Sorry. He was still sleeping when I left, this morning, maybe he just never woke up.”

“Oh, Baekhyun,” Jongdae grumbled, and Yixing laughed as he finished up his errands.

“I’ll go tell him to thank you.”

He hummed on the way home, in a particularly good mood, today. The seagulls crowed as they flew overhead, and Yixing held a hand over his eyes to look out at the sparkling blue ocean.

Even with his hand acting as a visor, the bright sun made him squint a little. But as his eyes focused in on the view, his attention was drawn to one thing in particular. Not giving much mind initially, he saw a person wading in, probably just playing. It was common for the kids to play in the water but Yixing remained stagnant, always the cautious one, making sure that whoever it was didn’t go in too deep.

He didn’t expect to see anything to keep him for too long, but as he watched, he slowly realized that the person wasn’t a child. They continued to go off past the shallows, and following his gut feeling, Yixing decided to set down his produce and get a closer look.

And the second he was able to evade the sun’s harsh glare and make out the pale hair on the person’s silhouette, he immediately smiled.

“Baekhyun?” he called from where he stood on the cliff, carefully stepping down onto the jagged rocks to get to the beach. “Baekhyun! Hey!”

He had been happily calling out to his friend, but when he finally reached the sand still shouting Baekhyun’s name, an ominous feeling fell over him when he realized that Baekhyun wasn’t paying attention at all. No, Baekhyun was still heading into the water, getting closer and closer to the waves that were forming and crashing loudly.

“Baek!” Yixing was calling much louder now, suddenly realizing how familiar it all was. It bore a striking resemblance to that night, from seven years ago, where Baekhyun had submerged himself into the ocean in his sleep. Yixing continued to yell out to his friend at the top of his lungs, but Baekhyun didn’t even seem to know he was even there.

Instead he was just slowly going out further, not being deterred by the small waves forming and constantly pushing him back a few inches, headed for a destination that wasn’t visible. Everything was identical to that night.

When Yixing finally couldn’t deny it anymore, that _it_ was happening again, he immediately stopped screaming after Baekhyun began to run back up the hill. He felt the same guilt as he had the first time as he ran—but he had no choice.

“Minseok!” he screamed, looking in every direction frantically, drawing the attention of a few passerbys that he had knocked into in his frenzy as he returned to the village. He finally found Minseok in the midst of a conversation, breaking through and grabbing him by the arm, unable to care that it was rude.

“Yixing?” Minseok asked, raising his eyebrows at how Yixing was practically yanking him away without even saying hello. Any other adult would scold Yixing, push him away, but not Minseok. “Yixing, what’s the matter with you?”

“Baekhyun—he’s doing it again!” Yixing wailed, not having the liberty to care that people were around this time, staring at him with bewildered expressions. “You have to get him, Minseok, he’ll drown!”

It only took Minseok a second to realize what _it_ was, and he immediately complied, running back to the beach where Baekhyun was now up to his neck in the water.

Minseok dove in without a word, swimming after Baekhyun and shouting fruitlessly for him to stop. Yixing pulled at his hair nervously, not even noticing how other villagers were watching the spectacle from the cliff now that Baekhyun was doing this in broad daylight.

It happened the exact same way as when they were children; but now that Baekhyun was an adult, Minseok struggled even more with getting him back to land. The two thrashed in the distance, fighting against each other and the waves. Yixing began to cry shakenly, whining out Baekhyun’s name in a pathetic attempt to snap him out of it.

“Yixing, what’s going on?” Chanyeol had run up behind Yixing, alarm written all over his face. “Is that really Minseok, and Baekhyun!?”

Yixing couldn’t get any words out beyond his hiccupping sobs, opting to just nod. He could barely make out what was happening between Minseok and Baekhyun anymore with how far off in the distance they were, only getting more and more worried with how long it was taking.

“Why is Baekhyun—” Chanyeol paused, deducing that it was a question nobody had the answer to. The pair, seemingly along with everyone else who had been watching, exhaled in relief when Minseok finally seemed to get Baekhyun under control.

It wasn’t a pleasant sight—Minseok had no choice but to resort to grabbing Baekhyun roughly by the hair and yanking him along in order to prevent Baekhyun from drowning them both. Yixing could hear Baekhyun crying out as they approached the shoreline, hitting his fists against Minseok’s back as if he was throwing a tantrum, losing vigor slowly until he finally seemed to pass out. Like a script, everything was identical.

Minseok was worn out, chest heaving as he dragged Baekhyun onto the sand by the arm. It had taken a much larger toll on him than it had the last time, due to Baekhyun’s changed physique, and Yixing once again felt the guilt of owing Minseok so much.

In Minseok’s fatigue he could only drop Baekhyun before immediately collapse onto his knees, Yixing and Chanyeol instantly flitting over to his side.

Chanyeol offered to help up Minseok, who goodnaturedly held up a hand in dismissal. Yixing was busy tending to Baekhyun, turning him over from the face-down position Minseok had dropped him in and brushing clumps of wet sand off of him.

Yixing heard people whispering behind him, incessantly questioning what was going on, but he couldn’t even force himself to care, right now. He held Baekhyun in his arms and squeezed onto him, reliving the harrowing fear that he had nearly lost him. There was no room to worry about the others.

When Minseok finally caught his breath, he stood up and, without a word, motioned for Yixing to let go of Baekhyun so he could scoop the unconscious man into his arms.

“Yixing...let’s go,” Minseok whispered, eyes flickering to the side, aware of the stares piercing into them all. Yixing nodded meekly, wiping his eyes and following Minseok’s damp footprints, just like seven years ago.

They were silent the whole walk back to Yixing’s and Baekhyun’s hut, ignoring the scrutinized looks and judging whispers around them. Minseok laid Baekhyun down in his sleeping mat, saying nothing about the fact that the bedroom was obviously being shared. Yixing appreciated that Minseok either didn’t think much of it or simply chose not to say anything about it; he didn’t need another thing to worry about, right now.

“Listen. We’ll tell anyone that asks, that he was drowning,” Minseok eventually proposed after watching Yixing kneel by Baekhyun’s bedside for a while. “He got his foot caught on a net and needed saving. Or something along those lines.”

“People were watching, they saw him fighting against you and everything. I don’t think they’ll believe it,” Yixing said remorsefully, still not taking his eyes off of Baekhyun.

“There’s nothing else we can tell them. _We_ don’t even know why he does this, Yixing.” Minseok said with a deep exhale, shaking his head frustratedly. “I’ll go out and handle them. You just stay here, be with him when he wakes up.”

“But–”

“Stay. I’ll take care of it.” Minseok was firm, and Yixing guiltily hoped that this wasn’t too much of a bother for someone so respected in the village.

“...Okay.” Yixing finally thanked Minseok quietly, still unable to take his eyes off of Baekhyun.

 

It was over an hour before Baekhyun’s eyelids finally began to flutter and Yixing sat up, stiffening. His lips were tight, only able to watch as Baekhyun stirred awake and looked around sleepily.

“Yixing?” he asked groggily, sitting up and looking confused of his surroundings. “I’m so...out of it, I swear I was going out to the paddy…”

He trailed off when he looked back at Yixing’s solemn expression, tilting his head. “Yixing…? What’s wrong?”

“Baekhyun…” Yixing trailed off, not knowing how to say it. Looking into Baekhyun’s genuinely confused eyes, he let out a sigh he had been holding in. “You...did it, again. You went into the ocean.”

“What? You mean…” Baekhyun’s eyes went immeasurably wide, mouth agape. “No...you’re kidding.”

“I’m not,” Yixing lamented, feeling crushed by Baekhyun’s disillusioned expression. “Minseok was able to get you out. But…”

“I can’t believe it.” Baekhyun ran his fingers through his hair, looking devastated. “Yixing, why…? I thought...I thought it was over.”

“I did, too.” Yixing hung his head, wishing he knew what to say. He finally reached out a hand and placed it on Baekhyun’s shoulder, but for the first time, it felt like Baekhyun’s warmth had faded.

“Wait, Yixing, did people see?” Baekhyun asked frantically, unable to settle down. Yixing fell silent. “Was it...bad?”

“Minseok had a hard time, you were acting out so much.” Yixing bit his lip, looking down at his lap. “The villagers saw all of it. But Baekhyun, it doesn’t matter, I was just so worried you’d drown—”

“This can’t be happening,” Baekhyun groaned, ignoring Yixing’s sentiments and falling back onto his bedding. He covered his eyes, beginning to breathe heavily as he tried to maintain his composure. “Yixing, have I _lost_ it?

“No,” Yixing protested, wide-eyed. “Look, Minseok said he would take care of it. It’s not your fault. Just...rest, would you? For me.”

“But—”

“Baekhyun.” Yixing tried to smile, but he could feel how weak it must have looked. “I’m just happy you’re okay. That’s all that’s important, right now. Nothing else matters.”

Baekhyun didn’t respond to that, and nothing in his expression could read as reassurement. But the more Yixing stayed with him, the more he slowly seemed to resign to the fact that what happened happened.

“I’m sorry for making you worry again,” Baekhyun whispered as the sun began to go down, the first words exchanged between them since their discussion. Yixing shook his head, an automatic response.

“Shh.”

Yixing thought about the night they had spent at the beach recently, where Baekhyun shared how he sometimes felt like he didn’t belong. Now, as he looked at the dispirited look in Baekhyun’s eyes, Yixing could tell that the sensation was stronger than ever. Whatever Yixing said that night to make Baekhyun feel better, he now knew that it would all be for nothing after this.

∬∮〟〃〃

The members of the village began to look at Baekhyun a bit differently starting that day. It wasn’t a drastic change, but neither Baekhyun nor Yixing could deny the dubious looks given towards the former, or the smiles directed at him that were laced with just a touch of uncertainty.

Perhaps if it had just been that one time, nothing would have changed, and things would have quickly gone back to the usual. But in a cruel stray from normalcy, Baekhyun began having these mysterious spells once every couple _weeks_. Every time, he’d head out into the sea and get himself in danger. Every time, he’d nearly drown whoever went out after him. Every time, he would deny any memory of it happening upon awakening.

  
One evening, as he was running his daily errands, Yixing suddenly heard a commotion coming from the market. At first he willed himself to ignore it, just wanting to finish and get home as soon as possible—it wasn’t coming from the beach, it couldn’t be Baekhyun, again.

But a bad feeling quickly began to eat at him, and after stopping with a reluctant expression on his face, he finally turned around and began heading towards the noise.

There, in the middle of the road, Baekhyun was standing with the most feeble stance and remorseful expression, a put-out torch hanging limply from his hand. Yixing made his way through the people crowding around, now seeing Sehun kneeling on the ground, Minseok pouring cold water over a huge, violent burn scored across his forearm.

“What happened?” Yixing blurted out, alarmed, going over to Sehun. The burn on his skin was a dark, angry red that was already blistering, and Sehun shot an enraged glare towards Baekhyun.

“He _burned_ me,” he seethed, face contorting when Minseok patted the burn with a wet cloth. Yixing’s eyes widened, looking up towards Baekhyun in disbelief. “I heard him whispering something to himself, and when I came up to him, I swear—the flames on his torch turned blue, and he swung at me!”

“I didn’t swing at you!” Baekhyun cried desperately, gripping his hands anxiously around the handle of the torch. “I’m sorry, I was just trying to light all the lanterns, and I didn’t mean to—I wasn’t paying attention—”

Everyone was whispering amongst themselves while boring their own dubious stares into Baekhyun, who looked so helpless, so small.

“Yeah, you’re never paying attention, anymore,” Sehun grumbled, flinching again as Minseok finished tending the injury, finally breaking his own silence.

“Calm down, Sehun,” Minseok said reticently, then looking up towards Baekhyun. “He didn’t mean it, Baekhyun’s never hurt anyone. He just has to be more careful.”

“He will be. Why is everyone looking at him like this?” Yixing finally brought himself to speak, furrowing his brows and motioning for Baekhyun to come to him. “Can’t accidents happen? He apologized, what more do you want?”

Nobody would answer him. Baekhyun subtly held onto the fabric of Yixing’s shirt, casting his gaze downwards; he didn’t want to look anywhere else, at this point. Yixing felt his heart pounding as the moment felt like it would last an eternity, until at last, Minseok motioned for everyone to disperse.

“Are you okay?” Yixing finally got to ask when the crowd dissipated, turning towards Baekhyun. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“I didn’t,” Baekhyun whispered, looking broken beyond repair. “But everyone was looking at me, like they thought I did.”

“They just want any entertainment they can find in this boring old place,” Yixing assured, using words that Baekhyun often said growing up. “Only a fool would think of you like that, Baekhyun.”

At that point Minseok approached them once more, an unreadable expression on his face.

“The oracle is calling me to discuss something,” Minseok said in nearly a whisper as he passed by Yixing and Baekhyun, as if he couldn’t have anyone else hearing. “You should just head home for tonight.”

The words held no venom, and Yixing wondered how Minseok could stay so calm and unbiased when everyone was seeming to side against Baekhyun, at this point.

Yixing rubbed his neck, watching as Minseok walked off. Minseok had grown to be viewed as a leader here, and was often included in the affairs of the village’s elders and authority figures. But Yixing didn’t even know what the oracle could possible want with him. Shrugging it off, he looked once more at Baekhyun, who still looked shaken from what happened with Sehun.

“Let’s go home,” Yixing said, putting on a small smile. He touched Baekhyun lightly on the back to motion for them to leave. “It’s going to get cold, soon. I think I’m ready to turn in.”

 

Baekhyun didn’t eat that night, remaining in the bedroom despite Yixing’s insistence that he come out. When Yixing finally entered his room in the late hours, he deflated a little to see Baekhyun bundled under his covers, his arm sticking out just a little to show he was clutching onto his pendant.

It was only when Yixing laid down next to him that he realized Baekhyun had actually been wide awake, all along.

“Yixing,” Baekhyun murmured groggily, looking up with tired eyes. Yixing gave a faint smile, but it wasn’t returned. “Are you sure you believe me…? That I didn’t hurt Sehun on purpose.”

“I know you didn’t,” Yixing said calmly, the immediacy of his response seeming to fill Baekhyun’s worn expression with at least a bit of relief. “Baekhyun. Sehun said he heard you talking to someone… Were you hearing things again…?”

Baekhyun was silent for a while, before giving the slightest of nods that told Yixing everything he needed to know. They ended up staying awake for just a while longer, with Yixing stroking Baekhyun’s hair until the latter fell asleep, while at the same time naively trying his best to convince himself that everything could somehow resolve itself.

∬∮〟〃〃

  
Their friends slowly began to greet him differently, their interactions with Baekhyun becoming more strained. Adults stopped complimenting him, and kept their conversations with him brief. Yixing wouldn’t forget a night Baekhyun had come home, absolutely heartbroken from seeing a mother pull away her child in avoidance of him.

  
“I’m going to visit the shrine,” Baekhyun said wearily one morning, not looking at Yixing as he left the room. The fishermen had begun to advise Baekhyun to take a break from the ocean, masking the real reason—their developing belief that Baekhyun make everything end in a mishap if he came along. It left Baekhyun with nearly nothing to do, having even more time alone with his decrepit thoughts.

“I can go with you,” Yixing began to say, but Baekhyun immediately shook his head.

“I want to go alone,” he insisted, still not looking back. Yixing deflated a little, his heart wedged in a crevice at the fear that Baekhyun was starting to push even his closest friend away.

  
He did his work that day with a sunken mood, feeling unbelievably sorry for how Baekhyun must be feeling. With its repeated occurrences, Minseok and Yixing no longer had an excuse for Baekhyun’s trances. The villagers began to think something was wrong with Baekhyun, and Yixing couldn’t stand the way they began to look at him.

The thoughts weighed down on him throughout the day, and it was as if he had forgotten how to laugh. Jongdae seemed to notice, sporting a worried look on his face as the conversation between the two petered and died out.

“You know, Yixing,” Jongdae began after a moment of silence, handing Yixing a plum as they sat towards the edge of the cliff, gazing out at the view, “it’d be a tight fit, but if you wanted...you can stay with me. You get along well with Liyin, and my family of course loves you...it’s an option.”

“What do you mean?” Yixing asked, a wrinkle in his brow. “It’s not like I’m not looking for a home.”

“Yes, well,” Jongdae said, biting his lip and glancing around as if to see if anyone was listening. “It’s just, you’ve been living with Baekhyun since you were little. Don’t you think it’s about time that you...tried being without him?”

“I don’t understand where this is coming from,” Yixing argued, looking down at his lap. “We’re fine with each other, and it’s not like Baekhyun and I have anyone else we could even call family—”

“You have me, Yixing,” Jongdae said almost exasperatedly, and Yixing couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Don’t get me wrong, I grew up with Baekhyun and care about him, too. But...after all of the incidents that keep happening, and how strange he’s becoming, it doesn’t look good for you. People will start to think you’re crazy, too.”

“Baekhyun’s not crazy,” Yixing protested, fists clenching up. “What’s the matter with you? You’re his friend, how could you be saying these things!”

“Yixing—”

They were cut off, all of a sudden, when they heard someone calling them. Both turning and seeing it was Minseok, Yixing was forced to swallow his pride and get over his rage towards what Jongdae had said, a bitter taste left in his mouth.

“You two,” Minseok said as he approached them, looking stern. “I need your help.”

“What is it, Minseok?” Jongdae asked, running a hand through his dark hair. “Did something happen?” Yixing watched as Minseok nodded, his mind still fixated on Baekhyun. But what Minseok said next would effectively get him to pay attention.

“It would appear,” Minseok began, crossing his arms, “that somebody stole something from the high shrine.”

Jongdae and Yixing both raised their eyebrows, unsure of what to make of that information.

“You two wouldn’t happen to have seen anything, or any _one_ , suspicious around, would you?” Minseok continued. Jongdae shook his head immediately, and Yixing, after a second of harrowing realization, followed along. “Hm. I didn’t think you would… It was worth a try, though.”

“What was taken?” Yixing asked, keeping his voice level. Minseok scratched his head, as if he was unsure of how to describe it.

“A scroll. The... _outdated_ one,” was his reply, and Yixing had been hoping for any answer but that one.

“It was probably just one of the kids, playing a prank,” Jongdae said with a shrug, and Yixing could only nod in agreement. “There’s no point in stealing a piece of junk like that.”

“Hey,” Minseok sighed, swatting Jongdae scoldingly on the shoulder. “Those still have valuable history, the elders are quite upset about it—don’t call it junk.”

Minseok left soon after Jongdae and Yixing promised to report if they saw anything, and Yixing fluidly excused himself as well. Partly because he hadn’t forgotten what Jongdae had said to him before and wasn’t in the mood to see him anymore, but also because there was a sick suspicion in his stomach that he had to disprove.

  
He went home, and before heading into his and Baekhyun’s shared room, he paused. He listened in through the walls, and felt himself tense when he heard who must have been Baekhyun on the other side—he sounded like he was sniffling, breathing unevenly.

After a bit of listening, Yixing finally forced himself to go inside. Sure enough, there was Baekhyun, kneeled on the floor and hunched over a long scroll of rice paper that had been unraveled to reveal the entirety of its contents.

“B...Baekhyun,” Yixing stammered, but Baekhyun didn’t even look up at him. It wasn’t the fact that Baekhyun had stolen  the scroll after all that really stunned Yixing—it was the fact that he was crying, so hard, while looking down at the images.

Or at least, what was left of the images. The writings he had stolen contained carefully documented information on the village and its events, but it also held the history of the village’s worshipping of Buoxian. Thus Minseok’s descriptor of _outdated_.

Written prayers, recorded celebrations, myths and brush paintings of the god were all vandalized with harsh black ink, crossed out as if to erase the being’s existence while still preserving the other materials within the scroll.

Yixing stood there for a bit, before slowly walking forward and kneeling down in front of Baekhyun. Baekhyun’s shoulders visibly tensed, the man anticipating a scolding or yelling at, but his eyes widened in shock when Yixing merely placed a hand on his back.

“Baekhyun,” Yixing whispered at last, “I won’t ask if you don’t want to tell me. I know you wouldn’t do something like this without having some sort of reason—I trust you. But I can’t stand to see you cry again, like this...so please, won’t you stop looking at it?”

He painstakingly slid the parchment out from underneath Baekhyun’s hands, beginning to roll it back up into its compact form. Baekhyun watched with glassy eyes as Yixing finished and set the document aside, unable to find a way to respond. Yixing recognized what must be shame and guilt in Baekhyun’s face and shook his head reassuringly.

“I’m not mad. When you’re ready to explain, and to return it, then you can talk to me. Okay? Remember, what you said to me during that year I had been acting upset?”

Baekhyun tried to nod, and opened his mouth to say something in response, but nothing came out. The best he could muster was to throw his arms around Yixing and bury his face in his chest, tears splotching on the fabric of Yixing’s clothes and shuddery breaths tumbling out of his mouth.

With Baekhyun holding onto him and finally showing some sort of trust in him again, Yixing was able to feel at least a twinge of relief—he still knew Baekhyun inside and out, he had said the right thing.

So Yixing didn’t comment further despite all of the confusion, all of the unknown that was eating at him, masking it all with his understanding, calm expression and gently stroking Baekhyun’s hair. He told himself that whatever it was, he’d find out in time. He just wanted Baekhyun to smile, just once today.

  
Hours passed and Baekhyun hadn’t said anything. He had been lying on his side as the sun finished setting, filling the room with a dimness that made Yixing sit up in awe of how late it had become.

He had still been giving light touches to Baekhyun to comfort him, from tucking his hair behind his ear to patting his shoulder. He couldn’t see Baekhyun’s expression, but he could only hope that his friend had calmed down by now.

And sure enough, Baekhyun finally spoke up. “Yixing…”

“Baek?” Yixing sat up, looking down at his friend, feeling like he hadn’t heard his voice in years. “Are you feeling a little better?”

He never got an answer to this question, which in itself was answer enough. The only bit of response he got was a visible tightening in Baekhyun’s curled-up posture.

“I always thought…” Baekhyun started to say, his voice small and hollow, everything that it never was, “...that I didn’t care, who I was before we met, before I woke up here. But…”

“But…?” Yixing whispered, eyes going wide at what Baekhyun was beginning to imply. “Baekhyun?”

“I also thought,” Baekhyun continued, seeming to pick up an entirely different topic instead of answering Yixing. “That I wasn’t afraid of anything. But I am, Yixing… I’m afraid, that someday, you’ll hate me.”

“You’re afraid of the impossible,” Yixing tried to reassure, but Baekhyun was shaking his head. “Baekhyun, I could never hate you.”

“I’m scared,” Baekhyun said in a whimper, shrinking away. “I’m so scared of what you think of me.”

“Enough. I don’t hate you. Nobody hates you,” Yixing hushed, reaching out to bring Baekhyun back into his embrace. “They’ll come to realize how ridiculous they’re acting.”

A couple, final tears squeezed out of Baekhyun’s tight lids, and when Yixing knew Baekhyun had enough of talking, the two were back to the unbearable silence as quickly as they had come out of it.

∬∮〟〃〃

_“He must be the one who stole from the shrine. I’ll bet he’s stolen from my family’s shop, too.”_

_“He lingered around our boats the other day, I had to tell him to beat it.”_

  
Yixing dragged himself through the dirt and gravel, ignoring the stares directed at him and the venomous words buzzing in his ears.

_  
“I overheard the elders saying that he’s a bringer of bad luck.”_

_“He must be, so many have been getting ill ever since he's trying to run off into the ocean.”_

_  
_ The sound of a violent cough made Yixing look up from the fabrics he had been holding, immediately regretting it when he was greeted with the sight of Chanyeol and his sister, who looked to be in awful condition.

“Yoora, are you alright?” Chanyeol asked worriedly, having her sit down on his cart. “Not you, too…”

“Are you going to buy something, or what?” Yixing’s attention was brought back to Qian, who was looking impatient.

“I could have sworn things weren’t this expensive, before,” Yixing commented quietly, putting down the textiles with a shake of his head. Qian only shrugged.

“With the cold that’s been setting in, everyone wants things that will protect them from sickness.” She tossed her head in Chanyeol’s direction. “Look at poor Yoora, she’s the fourth to fall so ill this week.”

Qian blew a stray hair off her face, looking back at Yixing with a judgmental glance. “Meanwhile Baekhyun’s been wandering and doing nothing but play around in the sea, yet he’s completely fine, right?”

“For the last time,” Yixing growled, feeling his hands ball into fists by his sides, “Baekhyun’s not making anyone sick! He didn’t bring a disease, or any of the other things he’s being accused of!”

He then realized that people around him were staring, and their whispers grew louder. He looked back at Chanyeol, who was staring at him with the saddest look in his eyes, before averting his gaze and taking Yoora away. Yixing deflated, looking at the embittered looks of the villagers around him, feeling himself teetering on the edge of panic before abruptly rushing home.

_  
“You know what, I never liked the kid. He was a thief before, he’s only here now because the elders couldn’t turn away a child.”_

_“Didn’t he show up soon after Buoxian’s betrayal? We should've known.”_

  
These were all things Yixing had begun to hear through malicious little whispers as he made his rounds around the village. If he ever lashed out and denied these rumors, he would just receive the same bitter looks that Baekhyun always received.

Now, instead of just being called strange or insane, there was now a superstition circulating that Baekhyun was always a problem child that was a harbinger of misfortune.

Yixing never brought it up when he was at home, opting to be as chipper as possible and try to connect with Baekhyun as always. But he was no fool—Baekhyun was being torn down by it all, barely saying two words to Yixing if they were ever in the same room. He barely ate, he barely slept, and he never smiled, now.

He would just go to the room they shared, look through the blacked out images of Buoxian on the scripture he stole, never offering a word of explanation to Yixing. And Yixing had decided that if Baekhyun didn’t want to give one, he didn’t have to.

It was out of respect for his friend, but he had his own selfish motives. He had the instinctive hunch that whatever was happening, whatever was on Baekhyun’s mind, Yixing wasn’t going to like it. It made him feel so, so guilty, but he didn’t know what else he could do, what else he could say.

  
“Baekhyun?” Yixing asked late one night. Baekhyun had been in the corner of the room, drawing or writing away on blank parchment. He had been doing this lately, but would never let Yixing see.

When Baekhyun didn’t even turn around, Yixing suppressed his sorrowful little sigh. “Do you want to go to the ocean? It’s been a while. We could look for shells, or just sit and talk…”

Baekhyun gave what was barely a shake of his head, not even sparing a glance at Yixing. Dejected and heartbroken, Yixing didn’t say anything else for the rest of the night.

He stayed awake later in the darkness of the room, knowing that behind him, Baekhyun was awake too. He had never felt so distant, so shut out by his best friend, the one he loved. It was tonight that he finally came to terms with the state of their relationship—he had always been scared of Baekhyun leaving, he thought he could be happy just as long as Baekhyun was physically with him.

But now, in a completely unpredicted way, Baekhyun was gone. And Yixing had no idea how to bring him back.

∬∮〟〃〃

 _“_ Baekhyun,” Yixing cried out over the thunder and rain, feeling like his voice was completely lost in the blistering wind. He could barely make out Baekhyun’s distant figure, muddied and grey against the swirling sea, just standing there and staring back at him. “Please, come back! How can I make you stay!”

_I can’t stay where I don’t belong. Just leave me alone—I don’t need you, anymore._

“No, just tell me what’s wrong!” The ocean began crawling towards Yixing at a pace faster than he could even react to, crashing against his body and steadily consuming him. He gasped out, saltwater filling his lungs and scratching at his throat. “You need someone! And I need you, Baekhyun...!”

_You’re just like the rest of them. You’ll never understand. You’ll hate me._

“ _Baekhyun!_ ”

His words were cut off as he was thrown completely underneath the surface, getting dragged down to the bottom by an unseeable force. The last thing he could see was Baekhyun turning away from him, his screams being lost to the belligerent orders of the storm.

 

Yixing woke up from the nightmare with a violent shudder, tears streaming down his face and his breathing raspy. With wide eyes, he looked around him and was shocked to see Baekhyun sitting over him, looking equally shocked.

He felt like it was the first time he had seen emotion in Baekhyun’s face in so long. Even if it wasn’t a smile, just seeing some life in Baekhyun’s eyes, in the light of the morning, made Yixing breathless and almost emotional.

“Baekhyun,” he finally stuttered, but Baekhyun had already gotten up in a hurry and was walking out of the bedroom. “W-wait!”

He immediately tossed aside his covers and chased after Baekhyun, who was briskly exiting the hut. The two barely exchanged words now, with Baekhyun seeking solitude and always telling Yixing he needed to be on his own for a while. But Yixing decided that it had to end—giving Baekhyun space wasn’t working. It was time for them to talk.

“Baekhyun, stop,” Yixing said desperately, his voice still fragile from crying and his cheeks tear-stained. He hadn’t cried from a nightmare in so long, and it had never been about Baekhyun. He could only imagine Baekhyun watching him this morning, concerned at how he must have been tossing and murmuring incoherently in his sleep.

Baekhyun kept walking, faster and faster, jumping down from the obsidian-colored rocks and feet crunching against the sand. Yixing’s heart fell when he realized it—Baekhyun was going into the water, where Yixing wouldn’t follow him.

“I had a nightmare about you!” Yixing’s voice finally crackled, right when Baekhyun was about to step into the shore, finally making him halt.

Before Yixing knew it, tears were forming in his eyes again and he hated how pathetic he must look. But instead of breaking down, he wiped his eyes with the back of his fist and kept in a squall. “I had a nightmare, that you went away. That you were disappearing into the sea. I chased after you, begged you to stop, but you wouldn’t. You thought I wanted you to leave, and I—I—”

Baekhyun’s expression had grown softer as Yixing’s voice went brittle, and finally, _finally_ , he stepped forward. Yixing could only hiccup as Baekhyun reached up, hand curled into a fist that hesitantly wiped the tears away from his eyes. It was the first time Yixing had felt Baekhyun’s touch in so long, and the fact of the matter only made him cry more.

“Yixing…” Baekhyun began, his voice low and like music to Yixing’s ears. It had been that long since they had really spoken to each other. Yixing grabbed onto Baekhyun’s shirt, pulling him in and sniffling into his shoulder. “I’m sorry—I'll listen to you, I'm...sorry, that I made you cry.”

“Don’t push me away, Baekhyun,” Yixing got out in a whisper as he ignored the apologies, shaking. In the heat of the moment, in his desperation to let Baekhyun know how much he cared for him, he decided that he couldn’t afford to filter his words, anymore.

“I...I love you,” he got out, unable to stop himself, not even regretting it, “you don’t have to love me back, just— _don’t go._ ”

He heard Baekhyun let out a gasp, and he knew that he had said something he couldn’t take back. But it didn’t even matter, at this point—he had to say everything he could to let Baekhyun know that he was loved. Half of him expected Baekhyun to not say anything, to just ignore his confession, the other half expected Baekhyun to shove him away in disgust—both he decided would be justified responses.

But instead, to his utmost shock, Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Yixing’s waist, and held onto him. Tightly. Warmly.

“...I wish, with all my heart,” Baekhyun breathed, making Yixing want to fall apart, “that I could be happy to finally know you love me back. But…”

“But…?” Yixing found himself asking, in utter shock of what Baekhyun had implied. “Love you…back?”

“Yixing,” Baekhyun murmured, looking like he so badly wanted to submit, but nonetheless shaking his head. “I can’t do this. There’s something I’ve come to realize, about myself, over the past 14 years I’ve been here. Whether you believe me or not, it’ll completely change the way you feel about me. You’ll...hate me.”

“I can never hate you,” Yixing protested, grasping onto Baekhyun’s arm and squeezing onto it. Baekhyun didn’t look convinced in the slightest. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

“...We’ll see. I know now, I can’t lie to myself, or to you, anymore.”

“Baekhyun,” Yixing pleaded when Baekhyun shook him off and stood back, suddenly feeling the coldness of the morning hit him hard. “Do you remember?”

Baekhyun looked out to the ocean, its normally blue color muddied by a cold grey tint. Closing his eyes and feeling the breeze slowly sift through his pale hair, he gave a small nod, as if to affirm with himself what he was about to confess. Yixing felt his stomach tighten into a knot, unsure of how to feel.

“Then...who are you?” he whispered. He could have sworn the breeze had grown even colder, even stronger, yet there wasn’t a single sound he could make out as Baekhyun looked up at him with an adamant look in his eyes.

  
“My real name is Buoxian. The god of the Eastern sea.”

  
The words flowed out effortlessly like a song, but it was as if Yixing had blocked them from reaching him. He couldn’t even begin to try and comprehend. The two stood there, the silence that fell over them being cut by the sound of the waves that had finally phased back into his senses.

“...Baekhyun,” Yixing began after what had felt like an eternity. “That’s not funny, what are you…”

“I know that you won’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it, when I began to realize it. But it’s who I truly am, Yixing.” Baekhyun was staring into Yixing’s eyes, now somehow looking both resolute and resignant. “I ruled over the sea, the place where I had been born. The place where I belong. And the place I abandoned.”

Baekhyun’s eyes grew saddened, and he seemed to struggle with maintaining eye contact with Yixing for what he was about to say next.

“And as much as it pains me to tell you this, I was responsible for letting the tsunami happen on the day of the harvest. I guess...everything the village said about me was true. I’m sorry, Yixing.” Baekhyun’s apologies were sincere as far as any person would be able to tell, but Yixing still couldn’t accept it.

“No, Baekhyun...no,” Yixing could only repeat, shaking his head in denial. “You can’t...no. Even if you were Buoxian, then that’d mean you’re the one who...the one who killed my parents. You can’t be Buoxian, you _can’t._ ” He was speaking as if he had control of what was happening, as if he ever had control.

“I’m sorry, Yixing,” Baekhyun could only repeat like a mantra, growing choked up as he directed his stare at the wet sand crumbling over his feet, “I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean for the sea to do it, I didn’t want it to, I never wanted to hurt anyone—”

At this point, Baekhyun reached out to grab Yixing’s hand and beg for forgiveness. But Yixing was in such a disarray, unable to process any of what was being told to him or to discern truth from lies, that he unintentionally yanked his hand away from Baekhyun’s grasp. The act made both of their eyes widen, and Baekhyun looked even more shattered at the rejection.

“Y-Yixing?” he rasped, and Yixing couldn’t gather a reply. Instead he clutched at the fabric of his shirt, tears forming in his eyes as the confusion and pain piled up within him, so much that he worried he’d overflow. He couldn’t understand it, he felt like he never would. He’d never understand why Baekhyun would say such a horrible thing, how he couldn’t know how grave that subject was after all these years.

He wasn’t given the time to rethink any of it, or to assume a different stance.

  
“There you two are.”

  
A third voice suddenly intruded, joining the tumultuous confrontation. The two looked up to see Jongdae marching towards them, a dark look on his face. Yixing immediately felt sick, already knowing about Jongdae’s forming apprehensions towards Baekhyun, but when he saw what was in Jongdae’s hands he realized the situation was so much more hazardous than before.

Without hesitation, Jongdae was yanking Yixing by the arm to get behind him, away from Baekhyun.

“You. You’re the one who stole from the shrine,” Jongdae hissed, holding up Buoxian’s scroll with one hand. The other held the pages Baekhyun had been filling the past couple of weeks. He aggressively threw them towards the ground at Baekhyun’s feet, the papers scattering and revealing countless drawings of the sea dragon and writings of Baekhyun’s messy brushwork.

“Jongdae, no—” Yixing began, growing frightened, but Jongdae’s stare was just as vexed when directed towards him.

“I went to your home to talk to you, but instead I found all of this. And you two still _share_ a room, when Minseok’s been gone for years? I don’t understand you...it’s almost like...”

Jongdae trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence. Instead he pointed accusingly at Baekhyun, his voice low and stern. “I don’t know where you came from or what you’re trying to do, but stay away from Yixing. He doesn’t deserve to have his life ruined by you.”

“Jongdae,” Baekhyun replied slowly, bearing no malice in his voice, “I understand. But...I just have to say a few more things to Yixing. It’s important, please...”

“I warned you, so stay away, Baekhyun,” Jongdae cautioned. “Something’s seriously wrong with you—those things you’ve been writing completely convinced me. I don’t want Yixing spending another second with you.”

“Yixing’s an adult, he can decide for himself,” Baekhyun bit out, looking at Yixing with pleading eyes. His fists curled at his sides, Baekhyun shut his eyes, breaking under the brunt of Jongdae’s harsh accusations and Yixing’s disillusioned stare. Yixing suddenly realized that the shore that shouldn’t have been anywhere near touching them was suddenly frothing forth around Baekhyun’s ankles, and a nauseous feeling formed in his stomach. It wasn’t time for the tide to be coming in.

“Yixing,” Baekhyun tried to reason, stepping forward. With each step he took, the further the sea washed towards them, making Yixing let out a small gasp as he was almost hit by the froth. “Yixing, please…”

Baekhyun had almost gotten close enough, when Jongdae shoved him hard by the chest. Baekhyun hadn’t expected it all, the force knocking him backwards and making Yixing gasp. Baekhyun’s frustration and chagrin was written all over his face, and at last, he retaliated. He lunged at Jongdae, the two falling into the shore and beginning to grapple with each other.

Yixing watched in horror as Baekhyun gained the upper hand, pinning Jongdae down as the waves came in. The waters seemed to grow more aggressive, and came crashing against the shore and hitting against Baekhyun and Jongdae. The waves seemed to be almost _swirling_ , making Yixing feel weak in the knees, unable to utter a sound as he watched Jongdae seem to sink under Baekhyun’s force. Jongdae was now submerged, silenced by the torrent, Baekhyun not showing any signs of letting go,  and Yixing finally stirred out of his reverie to break them up.

“Baekhyun, stop!” he demanded, touching Baekhyun on the arm before pulling him off of Jongdae. Baekhyun’s gaze immediately softened at the sight of Yixing, and he could only watch as Yixing helped a choking Jongdae up.

Baekhyun looked on with widening eyes, pressing his lips together at how Yixing’s face was tight with agony, overwhelmed by too much happening in too little time.

“D...don’t hurt anyone else important to me,” Yixing seethed, and Baekhyun was stunned. His eyes went wide, mouth agape, despair lacing every corner of his face. “I won’t let you. You...you’ve done enough.”

“Yixing,” Baekhyun pleaded in a tiny voice, but when he began to reach his hand out, Yixing backed up a few steps. Almost like he was afraid.

“I need to be away from you, right now,” Yixing muttered in a voice that was barely there, words he had never once said to Baekhyun in his life. “I don’t know what I could possibly say. I can’t make sense of anything you’re trying to tell me.”

“Am I a monster to you, now?” Baekhyun asked miserably, not caring that Jongdae was right there. “Is this it? Because...I understand, Yixing. If you tell me to never show myself to you again, I’ll do it.”

The offer made Yixing feel a pain he had never felt before, the words knocked out of him as he opened his dry mouth. Although it tore him apart to do so, he decided that if he couldn’t think of what to say, then he shouldn’t say anything at all. He dolefully turned away, brokenly wondering how things had become like this.

Jongdae gave Baekhyun one more bitter remark before pulling Yixing off of the beach. Yixing tearfully lowered his gaze, trying to block out the sounds of Baekhyun beginning to cry.

∬∮〟〃〃

Jongdae told the village elders everything, and Minseok, upon hearing the news, reticently went to the cove to softly confront Baekhyun, eventually bringing him back to the village by force. Baekhyun was given thorough punishment for stealing from the shrine and word of his misdeed quickly spread, further alienating him from the rest of the community.

Yixing spent the night in Jongdae’s home after Jongdae reported everything, not sticking around to see Baekhyun be reprimanded. But even though he was surrounded by Jongdae’s now huge family, he felt so utterly alone. All he could think about was Baekhyun, and the outlandish confession he had made on the beach. Every single thing that had happened between them today weighed heavily in his mind, so much he started to feel both his head and heart begin to physically ache.

Naturally, he initially thought that there was no way he could even think of believing Baekhyun. There was far too much absurdity, far too many questions. Buoxian was the ethereal serpent who presided in the sea. Baekhyun was and always has been a mere boy, who used to bring everyone in this village delight.

And all of the nonsense aside, Yixing couldn’t ever believe that Baekhyun could be the reason that his parents were dead.

The thoughts stayed with him throughout the night and the next day, denying him any sleep or rest. He didn’t see Baekhyun anywhere, and refused to pass by the beach with the feeling that he would be sitting there on the sand, as usual. Yixing couldn’t bring himself to see him yet, not right now.

But on the other hand, as Yixing’s head began to clear just enough to let in some rationality, he knew Baekhyun had no reason to lie about this. Baekhyun was known to joke around, but this was something that even he would know wasn’t funny. Which brought Yixing to the conclusion that either Baekhyun was telling the truth, or the village was right; perhaps something really had damaged Baekhyun’s sense of reason or sanity, in order for him to fabricate these farfetched lies.

Yixing didn’t know what to believe, anymore.

 

  
“Minseok,” he began to ask one day, helping Minseok load up a cart with sacks of grains and barley, “did the oracle want to see you that day, because of Baekhyun?”

It was the first time he had brought up Baekhyun in days, and Minseok seemed to know that it had to come eventually. He wiped away the sweat that had been beading on his forehead, letting out an exhale.

“...Yes,” he answered, and Yixing hadn’t been expecting anything less.

“What was it?” he asked, but it was more of a demand. He didn’t think Minseok would even answer him for the sake of confidentiality, but to his surprise, after a bit of deliberation, Minseok gave a slight nod.

“I don’t see any point in keeping this from you, anymore,” he began, and Yixing internally began to prepare himself. “She foresaw a malady approaching the village, and a summer of irregularities, alternating between storms and droughts. And she was right.”

Yixing remained silent, a beckon for Minseok to just spit out the rest.

“She looked to Suho to try and find a causation. And among her readings, she found something that went along the lines of: a direct cause, lying within the village. A stain, that is the very one who doesn’t belong, he who was introduced from the storm of the fallen Buoxian.” Minseok recited the oracle’s words without faltering, and Yixing felt his chest tighten and his hands curl into fists.

“So it was true,” he mumbled, hanging his head. “The elders think he’s a curse.”

He slapped a hand to his face, letting out a hoarse laugh purely out of exhaustion and hopelessness. “Minseok...who do you think Baekhyun was, before he came here?”

“Hard to say,” Minseok replied curtly. “He most likely came from a neighboring village. That’s the only logical explanation. Yet...that somehow doesn’t feel completely right.”

“How so?” Yixing asked, taking a seat on the edge of the cart and folding his hands in his lap. Minseok shrugged.

“There’s just too many mysteries around that kid. His memory loss, the fact you found him washed up on the shore… Haven’t you also always felt that there must be more to Baekhyun?”

“I feel that all the time. But I never thought that it’d become like this,” Yixing said forlornly. “Everyone treats him like he’s crazy, now, Minseok. Blaming him for problems he’d never wish upon us in a million years.” His voice fell into a whisper as he remembered how cruel it must be for Baekhyun. “And he was starting to say such...such confusing things to me, things that I couldn’t understand no matter how much I tried. I just want him back, Minseok. I want my best friend to be happy again, and for everything to be how it was.”

“Sometimes things have to change, Yixing,” Minseok relented, placing a hand on the younger’s shoulder. “It’s life. If Baekhyun’s...going through something, then the best you can do is to try to help him. But if nothing you do works…”

“Are you suggesting I turn my back on him, too?” Yixing asked sorrowfully. “Do you think the same way as Jongdae, and everyone else? What, are you planning with our leaders to eventually cast him out?”

“...No. I care far too much about him, I refused when they proposed it,” Minseok answered, running a hand tiredly through his dark brown hair.  “But I do think that there’s something wrong _about_ him, something beyond his control. The whole reason people treat him the way they do now is because of the way he’s been behaving—it’s foreign, nobody understands it. So it scares them.”

“I know, but...he’s lived here for so long, helped out nearly every day of his life, and made so many people smile. How could they just turn on him, so easily…” Yixing felt himself tearing up, immediately hating how many tears he shed over Baekhyun now. “God—I was upset with him, I thought I couldn’t decide how I felt about him anymore. But here I am, defending him without realizing it. It really is hopeless, Minseok...I can’t leave him.”

“Then don’t,” Minseok said softly, and in that moment, Yixing suddenly had the tense realization that it was possible that Minseok _knew_. Knew about Yixing’s feelings for Baekhyun, the love that had grown exponentially over so many years. But he was just too neutral to confront them about it, or perhaps it was something so horrible that he was in denial over it.

If this was true, Minseok still wasn’t going to say it explicitly, anytime soon. Instead he reached for something in his pocket, pulling it out and holding it out to Yixing. “I pulled this from a net, this morning. You recognize it, right?”

Hanging from Minseok’s grip was Baekhyun’s pendant that he had always worn, the black cord coiling up in Yixing’s palm and the stone glinting in the sun.

“He must’ve lost it, one of the times he went out into the sea,” Minseok speculated, crossing his arms. “Look. No matter what happens, I know you two care about each other in a way I can’t even describe. So if you want to hold onto him, and think you can get through to him, Yixing, then do it. If anyone can get to the bottom of it, it’s you.”

“...I know.” Yixing sniffled, hopping off of the cart. He tried to get out a laugh, tucking Baekhyun’s necklace into his pant pocket. “After all, the two of us have to stick together. That’s what we always say, ever since you left us for a girl.”

“Hey,” Minseok sighed, rolling his eyes before finally smiling back a little. “Go home for today. I’ll take care of the rest.” Yixing nodded obediently, finally finding it in himself to smile, genuinely.

“Thank you, Minseok.”

  
Yixing decided that before he could make any decisions about anything, he had to hear the rest of what Baekhyun had to say. All of it. The sluggish pace of his walking soon picked up as he made this choice, and soon he was weaving around the village, desperate to see if he’d spot Baekhyun around.

Dusk was about to approach, the blueness of the sky just beginning to fade, and Yixing knew that if Baekhyun wasn’t in the village, he must be by the sea.

As he headed over, all of his feelings for Baekhyun, his desire to trust in him, the devotion for him, the slowly harvested love that he had always known deep down was unconditional, felt stronger than ever, all of it growing exponentially louder as he regretted how harshly he had treated Baekhyun before.

_“I’m Yixing. I’m from the village up on the seacliff. It’s your turn now, please, tell me who you are.”_

_“Do you not...know? Do you not remember?”_

The memory of their first meeting played in his head, and as his heart raced at the growing urgency he felt, Yixing suddenly found himself beginning to believe in the possibility. The possibility that Baekhyun really was a child of the ocean, that he had once been the sea god that his people worshipped so devoutly, a divine presence that would finally explain the mystifying feeling Yixing always felt radiating off of him. There was no rational reasoning for this, more than just a feeling in his gut that had begun to form rapidly, along with how much he desired to believe Baekhyun. The more desperate he became to find Baekhyun, the more he realized that he trusted Baekhyun more than anyone else in the world.

He’d let Baekhyun be the one to expel all doubt and convince him for sure.

  
Out of breath by the time he had run to the beach, he looked around to try and spot Baekhyun. And sure enough, in the water, he saw him, far off into the depths about chest deep. Yixing’s eyes widened, wondering if it was another one of Baekhyun’s trances, if he was conscious; regardless of what it was, he didn’t like Baekhyun going out that far by himself anymore, for any reason.

“Baekhyun!” he called as he darted across the sand, squinting his eyes from the glare of the sun and trying to gauge what he was doing. Baekhyun was farther than Yixing had initially thought, splashing around even though he was by himself.

He was too far out to hear Yixing, and Yixing began to fear that his friend really was unconscious again. He looked around nervously, feeling the heat of fear and panic consuming him when he saw that nobody else was around. And Baekhyun was much too far already for Yixing to risk leaving and trying to find help, this time.

Yixing scurried up to the water’s edge, suddenly feeling faint as the light roar of the ocean seemed to grow blaringly loud in his ears. His vision began to waver and he suddenly felt so cold, like he was trapped in an abyss that prevented him from moving. The only thing keeping him focused was the sight of Baekhyun so far out, farther than he had ever gotten before.

And when Baekhyun seemed to abruptly dip his head underwater, disappearing from Yixing’s sight for what felt like an eternity before bobbing back up, Yixing made the split decision that he couldn’t afford to wait, anymore.

Despite the fact that he was trembling and felt like it was becoming a struggle to breathe, he shut his eyes and forcefully emptied his mind of everything going on around him. All except for Baekhyun. He told himself that he had to do it _now_ , that Baekhyun could be in trouble, that Baekhyun _needed_ him. His paranoia of anything bad happening to Baekhyun far surpassed anything else—he knew this.

So for the first time since he was a child, Yixing stepped into the ocean.

He let out a small wince as he did so, immediately wanting to dash back to safety by instinct. But he forced himself to keep his eyes open and focused on Baekhyun’s distant silhouette, the one incentive that persuaded him to go in farther. The sound of the water sloshing around him and the coldness that enveloped his body made him wince, but he couldn’t afford to waste time with the recoil.

It had been so long since he last swam, that the stiff, brittle feeling of his fear consuming him wasn’t the only thing causing him to clumsily struggle through the water. He stroked his arms in wide circles that slapped against the surface heedlessly, his voice frenzied as he gasped in as much air as he could every time his face was above the surface.

“Baek—” he gurgled out as he slowly got closer, the small waves creating obstacles in his vision. The saltwater ran down his throat and into his eyes, but he endured it all to frantically search for his friend. “Baek—h-hyun!”

And finally, in between being pushed underwater and forcibly ignoring the crippling fear of drowning himself, he caught a glimpse of Baekhyun coming up from the depths. He screamed once more. “Baekhyun!”

And to his shock, Baekhyun responded to his call. The man turned with wide eyes that grew even larger when he realized Yixing was here, in the ocean with him.

“YIxing?” he gasped, now treading along the choppy patterns of the water, “w-why are you here?”

Yixing was still having trouble staying calm as he attempted to keep himself above the surface, and Baekhyun quickly read the situation. Before Yixing knew it, Baekhyun was closing the distance between them, arranging Yixing’s arms to wrap around his neck.

“Hold on,” Baekhyun whispered as Yixing finally began to shake less with his friend’s warmth against him, “let’s get out.”

Yixing held onto Baekhyun as the latter paddled them back to the shore, arms wrapped around his neck so tight it was a wonder that he wasn’t hurting him. Now that he knew Baekhyun was okay and he was allowed the time to think, Yixing was shivering and crying the whole way back, all until they were back to the shallows.

At this point, the water was now at their thighs, which was now a pleasant reward to Yixing compared to the hell he just had to go through. He let go of Baekhyun, inhaling shakily, coughing out all the water he had swallowed and finally evening out his breathing. Baekhyun held his shoulder the whole time, bending his knees to look sympathetically at his nearly colorless face.

“Yixing—” he began when Yixing finally seemed to be calming down, but Yixing suddenly gave him a sharp push on the chest. The aggression was so out of nowhere, Baekhyun’s eyes immediately went wide and he grew speechless.

“No matter what,” Yixing declared breathily, water dripping off of his bangs and eyes suddenly ablaze as he finally got a good look at Baekhyun, “no matter where you go, I’ll do anything, even the things I believe will kill me, to keep you here. So go ahead, run, do whatever—because I’ll always be the one to bring you _back!_ ”

The ultimatum left Baekhyun stunned, before his eyes began to well with tears.

“I can’t believe it,” he quavered, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to do that to yourself, for me—”

“I’ll do anything for you,” Yixing interrupted, giving Baekhyun one more half-hearted push. “... _I’m_ sorry. For leaving you here, that day, I just—I didn’t know what to think. So much was going on, even now, I’m…”

“I know.”

“But I can’t do that to you...I meant it when I said love you, Baekhyun. No matter how much I tried not to. You’re everything, to me. So whatever this thing is, that’s happening, I’ll listen. I’ll try to understand. And then from there, I’ll decide how I feel.”

“...Okay.” Baekhyun gave a shuddery sigh as he stopped crying, and after cautiously stepping closer, he suddenly threw his arms around Yixing. Burying his fact in his chest, he murmured a muffled, “I don’t deserve you, Yixing.”

The two separated and stood there in the water, looking at each other weakly before finally breaking out into a tired, sunken bit of laughter at themselves.

“I can’t believe you...swam,” Baekhyun said in awe, brushing Yixing’s drenched hair out of his face. “How did you…”

“I thought you were in trouble, and it was too late to find someone else to go after you,” Yixing explained through his exhaustion, before realizing something. He pointed out towards the sea, a wrinkle in his brow. “Were you not unconscious? Why were you out so far, you scared me to _death_ , Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun looked down guiltily, shaking his head.

“I wasn’t, this time,” he mumbled. “The reason I was out so far was...I looking for something.”

When Yixing tilted his head, beckoning for Baekhyun to continue, the latter exhaled.

“I was upset, the other day when you left, I thought you hated me. I thought I wanted to leave everything behind and never come back. I went to the cliff, and...threw the necklace you gave me, into the sea.” Baekhyun’s expression was overcome with remorse, his hands gripping aimlessly at his shirt. “I immediately regretted it, I’m so sorry, Yixing. It was the spur of the moment, and since then I’ve been diving around looking for it—”

“Baek,” Yixing cut in gently, his mellow tone taking Baekhyun by surprise. He reached into his pocket and pulled out what Baekhyun had been searching so desperately for, the corner of his mouth finally being tugged into the faintest of smiles when he saw how Baekhyun’s eyes widened.

“You have it?” Baekhyun sputtered, gratefully bowing his head so Yixing could put the cord around his neck, just like the first time. “H-how?”

“It got caught in Minseok's net.” Yixing gave a sigh, pulling Baekhyun in for a tight hug. “I thought you were under another one of those spells of yours, Baek. That’s why I came out here, into the sea, I was so scared you were going to drown yourself.”

When Baekhyun stayed silent far too long for Yixing’s liking, he held him at arm’s length and stared questioningly. “What is it?”

“There were a lot of times, when I was out there,” Baekhyun began, letting his cheek fall into place against Yixing’s palm, “that I was about to. Yixing, the truth of the matter is...I really don’t belong here.”

“Baekhyun…” Yixing felt his chest grow tight, the words he couldn’t believe he was about to say, lodged in his throat. “You really believe you were once Buoxian?”

To Yixing’s disenchantment, Baekhyun, after a moment of silence, gave a nod that was full of certainty.

“I know I was,” he declared, looking even more apologetic than the first time he had said this. “I am.”

Yixing’s expression fell, and he knew it was time to stop delaying all of the explanations that needed to be shared between them. And he knew it wasn’t going to be a conversation full of pleasant revelations, no matter how he tried to frame it. He found himself wishing that this moment, the start of reconciliation and where he had been so appreciative to just _be_ with Baekhyun, could have lasted just a little longer.

  
But there wasn’t time. Soon after, he and Baekhyun were sitting at their usual spot on the dark boulders by the cliff, drying off and looking out at the orange sky. It was quiet between the two of them as Baekhyun closed his eyes, gathering his thoughts, and Yixing tried to prepare himself for whatever was about to come.

“I know you. And I want to believe you,” Yixing finally started, cradling his knees and glancing at Baekhyun from the side. “But Baekhyun, it’s…”

Baekhyun remained solemn, seeming to understand Yixing’s hesitation. After a while of deliberation, he seemed to finally come to a conclusion with himself, on what to say.

“Do you remember what you used to pray for, every time?” Baekhyun asked seemingly out of nowhere, taking Yixing aback. He managed a hollow smile, looking up at Yixing. “When you were little, in front of the blue flames. I remember...all you wanted was to grow up fast, so you could help your parents on the boats. But...there were a couple of times, where you snuck out late at night, to wish for a baby brother or sister. I remember that vividly, now.”

Yixing’s eyes widened immeasurably, left speechless by something he had never told anyone, before. Baekhyun paused, letting his friend process the revelation.

“How do you…” Yixing trailed off, knowing he had never disclosed those things to Baekhyun personally. Even if he wanted to deny it, it was getting harder and harder to dismiss the possibility, now. “...You really are telling the truth. Aren’t you.”

Baekhyun nodded solemnly, looking both anxious yet a bit more placid now that Yixing finally believed him.

“I am. It was me, Yixing… I was Buoxian.”

It fell silent between the two once more, and Baekhyun bit his lip, fearing Yixing would grow upset, or get up to leave. But instead, to his overwhelming relief, Yixing finally nodded slowly. It was a quiet beckoning for Baekhyun to explain himself, further.

“...I was lonely,” Baekhyun then continued, clasping his hands together as he continued to stare out into the horizon. “Lonelier than you could ever imagine. I loved the worshippers who trusted in me, who gave me so much, including your village. But I grew to be unhappy as I lived day to day, traveling through the seas, never having a single soul to call a companion.”

“That's...awful,” Yixing relented, slowly becoming able to wrap his head around it all. The more he focused on the reality of the fact, the more he was able to bring himself to discuss the absurd, which was Baekhyun’s past life as a god. “I never realized how lonesome a god must feel.”

“It’s not something you think would happen,” Baekhyun said with a dark little chuckle. “I ignored it, for much of my life. But times have been so peaceful...it was hard to focus on anything else.”

Yixing couldn’t believe how different Baekhyun sounded now, how much wiser and hardened by experience he seemed. It was like there was a new air about him, but Yixing couldn’t tell if he was just imagining it now that he was being faced by the groundbreaking truth.

“Anyway. Power started to lose its meaning to me, as did responsibility,” Baekhyun continued, averting his gaze with an empty little smile. His stare fixated on the seagulls in the sky, as he seemed reluctant to admit what was next. “A short while, before your village’s big ocean harvest...I abandoned this ocean. Even though I knew the land was going through terrible drought, and a disaster could happen without me, I abandoned it all. To search for, well...something, anything, to fill the void I felt.”

“...What did you find?” Yixing found himself asking. Baekhyun gave a half-smile once more, his expression unreadable.

“Suho,” he replied. “Suho, the almighty god who lies on the bottom of the ocean. I decided to see if the stories were true, if he could grant me a wish if I seeked him out. When I did confront him, I begged to be with others, to have those I could share my feelings with, my dreams and my laughter. I didn’t want to be alone, anymore.”

“Did he grant your wish?” Yixing asked hesitantly. Baekhyun carded a hand through his silver hair, closing his eyes and letting the sea breeze go through him.

“It’s...hard to say. At the time, I was rebuked. He berated me for my pride, for thinking I could just abandon everything and grovel for help. He said that as we spoke, a storm was conjuring back at my sea, soon to kill many because I wasn’t there to preside over it… He said someone so selfish doesn’t deserve the companionship of others.”

Baekhyun’s voice had lowered slowly as he recounted the tale, and Yixing could only watch him with eyes wide with disbelief.

“Then...then what?” Yixing got out in a tiny voice. It was here that Baekhyun pursed his lips, looking as if he was uncertain as to how the story ended.

“I was punished for my actions. He told me that I would be banished from the sea for relinquishing my power, reduced to man, the lowest form—the next thing I knew, I was thrown into the waves, for what felt like an eternity...until I woke up with you. Like this.”

He held up his hands, staring at his delicate fingers and the creases of his palms. “I couldn’t remember a single thing. Not even my name. All I knew, in that moment, was that I was living, and breathing alongside someone else: you. So, you know...this is where I wonder if Suho granted my wish, after all. Because of what happened, I got to meet you, and grow up with you. I got to have the greatest bond of all with someone else. Being here with you...I’d never call it a punishment.”

“Baekhyun,” Yixing breathed, leaning in to wrap his arms around Baekhyun and hold him close. “...I think I understand. I understand why you did what you did, what really happened, that day the storm hit. I never thought that I could ever know the truth.”

“I’m sorry, Yixing,” Baekhyun broke, absolutely sombre as he leaned his head on Yixing’s shoulder. “I can’t make up for what I did, to your village, to your family. I let it happen, when your people trusted me so much and believed in me. My memories were gone in this body, but the pain from my guilt remained...now I have to live with it, knowing I can never atone properly.”

“So that’s why you cried at the sight of that old shrine,” Yixing murmured in realization, feeling only empathy for Baekhyun despite how many times he was apologizing for his misdeeds. “Baekhyun… Please stop saying you’re sorry. You didn’t mean to hurt anyone, you’re not a monster. You don’t have to atone for anything.”

“How can you forgive me, so easily?” Baekhyun asked in disillusionment. He gripped tightly onto Yixing’s shirt, still burying his face into his shoulder. “Don’t you blame me? Don’t you hate me, for taking away the thing you loved most?”

“Maybe the other day, I did for a second,” Yixing admitted, pulling away and holding Baekhyun at arm’s length. “I was just overwhelmed, and lost. But I know you now, Baekhyun, better than ever. You would never hurt me. You’d never hurt anyone. You’re so...full of spirit, and love. All you wanted was to share it with someone. Right?”

Baekhyun remained silent for a good minute, and Yixing could feel wet splotches forming on his shirt. He finally gave a brief smile, running his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair and making him feel more at ease.

“I’m so lucky, Yixing,” Baekhyun finally said, head finally held high, “I got to become so close, with someone as kind as you. When all I’ve ever known before was solitude.”

“You’re not alone, anymore,” Yixing promised. “The past is the past—can’t we...start anew? No more talk about atonement, or betrayal, just be as you are, with me. Everything will be fine, you don’t have to be on your own.”

“I know, Yixing. You’ve never let me be alone,” Baekhyun whispered back, pulling away with a melancholy smile on his lips. “Believe me when I say I’d want nothing more than to just be with you, the rest of our lives. But...I can’t let myself do that. Not anymore.”

“W-why not?” Yixing stammered, feeling his stomach churning at the direction the conversation was going. With everything that had been said to him, he wouldn’t be able to take this information—Baekhyun couldn’t possibly be saying what Yixing thought he was. There was only so much he could take. “It’s not like you could... _leave_ , right?”

“Yixing.” Baekhyun slowly shook his head, gesturing to the horizon line. “Now that I know for sure who I am...I can’t deny the truth. I belong to the sea—since I took this appearance, the ocean’s been calling me. My body’s been craving it, more and more over the years. My only anchor keeping me grounded here was my amnesia, and you.”

“No, Baekhyun,” Yixing denied, holding onto Baekhyun’s hands and blinking back tears. “Don’t do this to me…”

“I know, Yixing, I know,” Baekhyun replied in a waverish voice, his sternness finally breaking apart as Yixing’s begging began to chip away at his resolve. “But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, knowing what I’ve done, seeing all the deserved hatred that the village feels towards Buoxian. Even if I lived on like a coward and tried to hide the truth, it wouldn’t matter—the village knows I don’t belong. It’ll be the same wherever I go if they cast me away, and you, too, if you try to defend me. I can’t stay here, Yixing... I can’t.”

Baekhyun leaned his forehead against Yixing’s, threading his fingers through black locks in an attempt to comfort him, to comfort them both. “Besides. I want to make sure that if the ocean does something like that, again, then I can stop it. To protect you.”

Yixing couldn’t get out any more words, wiping his eyes and clutching onto Baekhyun to keep him close. As his composure finally began to rebuild itself, he let out a quiet mewl that Baekhyun smiled at.

“You always did love the sea,” Yixing finally relented, looking up at Baekhyun with clouded eyes. “So much, I sometimes, as a kid, wondered if it’s where you came from. Those silly thoughts turned out to be the truth, after all…”

He sniffled, looking out to the ocean that no longer terrified him so much. “If you must go back… What exactly will happen to you?”

“I’m not so certain, myself,” Baekhyun admitted, squeezing onto Yixing’s hands, “but I can feel that this is what I must do. I can’t run away from the place I belong, anymore.”

It took a while, but at long last, Yixing gave a tearful nod, despite how much pain it brought him to do so.

  
A while of talking, spilling all of their thoughts, and holding each other later, the two were back where the water met the shore, slowly stepping inside together.

Baekhyun held onto Yixing’s hand as they went in until the water surrounded them, rippling around their waists, finally letting go and wading in a few steps ahead. The sun was finally about to set, and with Baekhyun’s silhouette etched against the pink and orange sky, Yixing wistfully thought his friend had never looked more beautiful.

“I guess...this is it,” Baekhyun began, trying his best to keep smiling at Yixing. He suddenly seemed to remember something, feeling at his chest before taking off the pendant Yixing had given him, that he had so desperately been looking for. “You made this yourself, all those years ago, right? It’s given me comfort, all this time. Thank you.”

“Baekhyun,” Yixing murmured, feeling his heart ache when Baekhyun put the cord around his neck. “I made it for _you_.”

“I know. I’m just...worried it’ll be lost,” Baekhyun said sadly, “so keep it safe for me. Okay?”

He looked out at the shore and the cliffs behind Yixing, pointing at them. “This has been our secret spot till the end, huh, Xing? That makes me happy. Don’t you agree?”

Yixing couldn’t respond other than a sad little nod, unable to think of the words he should even say when there were much too many to choose from. Baekhyun gave an empty little chuckle, before reaching out to lightly grab onto Yixing’s hand.

“This really is goodbye,” he whispered, leaning in to wrap Yixing up in his arms once more. “Thanks for being my friend. It’s brought me a lifetime of happiness.”

With that, he turned to leave, but whipped back around when something was stopping him. Anguish flooded into his expression when he realized what Yixing was doing, and he hunched over, trying to keep himself from falling apart once again.

“Baekhyun,” Yixing said in a voice that was barely there, “I…”

He gripped tightly onto Baekhyun’s hand to prevent him from going any further, unable to control himself. What he had secretly been so afraid of all this time was really happening—Baekhyun was going to leave him. Baekhyun, the one he loved more than anything, the one who had been everything to him for so long. And the only thing Yixing could do about it was to stubbornly hold on like the child he still was.

“Yixing—” Baekhyun struggled, his voice breaking as Yixing refused to let go of his hand. “You have to be strong. I must go.”

“I love you, Baekhyun, so please, don’t leave—” Yixing burst, tears streaming down his face and falling into the rippling water.

“You’re making this even harder,” Baekhyun murmured as he tried his hardest not to start crying alongside Yixing. “Xing—”

“The last time I lost who I loved the most, it looked just like this; I watched their backs as they disappeared into the sea, never for me to see again,” Yixing sobbed, his vision blurred as his tears bubbled over his lids uncontrollably. “I don’t want to watch it happen again, I can’t—I _won’t_.”

Baekhyun’s eyes widened, growing glassy as well from Yixing’s desperate, heartfelt pleas. He maintained a broken smile as he fruitlessly wiped at Yixing’s tear-streaked face, before nodding when he came up with an idea. The water was lapping around their waists, as if it was ready to sweep Baekhyun away any second.

“Close your eyes, Yixing,” Baekhyun said, gesturing for Yixing to do as he was told.

“Baekhyun—”

“Close them. Just do it, I’m right here.” He shushed Yixing, who was about to protest further. “Trust me.”

With a choked up sob, YIxing finally did as Baekhyun instructed, more tears gushing out of his tired eyelids. When he did so, he felt Baekhyun inching closer, before a pair of warm lips pressed against his own. He held in his bawling during that one ethereal moment, raising his hands to lightly graze his fingertips against Baekhyun’s face.

“I love you too, YIxing,” Baekhyun whispered when they finally separated, holding a finger up to Yixing’s lips to keep him from stopping him, again. “See, this isn’t so bad, right?”

Yixing weakly shook his head, chin quivering and breathing shaky. He could hear Baekhyun huff a little as he smiled, able to imagine exactly how it must look.

“So just keep your eyes closed, for just a little longer...okay?”

Yixing obeyed wordlessly, a shaking, emotional wreck as he stood there in silence, hearing the water quietly slosh about as Baekhyun slowly began to move away.

He listened harder than he had ever listened to anything in his life, those sounds being the only trace of Baekhyun left. When they finally disappeared for good, he remained there, tears cascading endlessly over his cheeks as he opened his eyes to see nobody there. Baekhyun was gone.

  
The sun finally set completely, leaving him in the cold water with only the dark blue sky to accompany him. Quietly weeping by himself, he couldn’t stop wondering if he had said everything he could have, if he really should have let Baekhyun go at all. His tears plopped off of his chin and into the now calm waters, and he knew he should get out before he caught a cold.

After his eyes finally ran dry and he was about to feel lightheaded from the overflow of emotions and pure exhaustion, he finally turned to leave the ocean, at moments wondering it all of this had really happened, if he had really lost his best friend. With Baekhyun no longer by his side, he grievously wished it all could have just been a dream, he wished he could go back to their younger days to tell Baekhyun how much he loved him.

  
But as he began to wade out of the ocean, his thoughts of despair were suddenly interrupted by the sound of a grand spray of water.

Whirling around, his eyes widened and his mouth fell agape at the sight of what looked like a beautiful sea dragon, shooting up from the ocean’s faroff horizon and twirling up into the sky. Its silver-colored scales glistening under the moon, its form weaving effortlessly through the air until it disappeared from sight.

Its emergence had caused a rippling through the water’s surface that stretched all to the shoreline, its boundaries ending where Yixing stood, before all was calm once more.

When people would ask Yixing about Baekhyun after that night, he was forced to feign ignorance of his friend’s whereabouts, knowing the truth would never be accepted. It eventually became a generalized belief that Baekhyun had fled, never to be seen again. Like Buoxian, Baekhyun’s existence slowly withered until it was a thing of the past, his name being brought up less and less until it was as if he had never existed at all.

Yixing seemed to be the only one hit hard by Baekhyun’s absence, and with so many things to remind him of the one he loved, including the stone that hung so heavily around his neck that it might as well have been cement, it felt like the hole in his heart would never be filled. The sea was no longer a thing that brought him terror, rather than a symbol of grief and heartbreak as he was reminded of both Buoxian, the lonely, misunderstood god, and Baekhyun, the boy who made Yixing who he was today, who would never leave his thoughts.

  
But during the most sleepless nights he would think back to that moment, the night Baekhyun had dutifully returned to the ocean, when the brilliant sea dragon that had to be Buoxian had emerged as if to give Yixing a final goodbye.

Just like it had that night, the vision would make Yixing give a smile of both acceptance and yearning as he absentmindedly hummed a familiar lullaby to himself, and allow him to dream of the day that he and Baekhyun could see each other once more.


End file.
